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Keeping your EX's Last Name


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Old 28th September 2017, 9:54 PM   #91
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You've talked about these guys before. I know it worries you, but is your mate concerned?

If the kids are loved and treated respectfully by all parties, I can't see any long term impact on them.
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Old 29th September 2017, 1:58 AM   #92
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The Daughter a couple of months ago stated that her mom can't talk about lasting love, because the mother only lasted 7 yrs with her father. This is coming from a 13 yr old and this was in front of me and her friend and DT, her bio brother J as well, when we sat down for Dinner after. She did not seem happy. The brother J is skipping school as well. They don't know if he will graduate on time.

These are situations with just the big kids. When DT told me about the second bio child coming. He did not seem overjoyed. More like an extra burden.

When I see CF. She just comes off as la dei da. There seems to be no thinking about the impact of things. My buddy to me does not exhibit a Parental presence with his Almost step kids. If J wants to skip school. Its not like DT can lay down the law. If that was me with the mother. Maybe 2 weeks I would plan some conversation about that if not sooner. I would not let that slide.

Last edited by Mysterio; 29th September 2017 at 2:33 AM..
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Old 29th September 2017, 2:32 PM   #93
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Since it seems relevant to the subject:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlo...=.9d7cabfed23d
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Old 29th September 2017, 2:40 PM   #94
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Honestly, I find people who are obsessively interested in the lives of others more disturbing than who does what with their name after divorce.
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Old 29th September 2017, 2:58 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by Elswyth View Post
Makes sense to me. The Chan-Zuckerberg kid is another great example.

If I was with a man who otherwise expected an egalitarian/modern relationship (splitting bills, etc), this would be my expectation. Given that my SO accords me the benefits of tradition (him being the provider etc), it's only fair that I accord him similar benefits, so if we did have a child I'm happy for the kid to take his name, as is the norm in our culture.

I just really cannot understand how Western society is so modern/egalitarian in other ways and yet so very, very archaic in this one.
this is a huge mess too.

what if Chan-Zuckerberg's kid marry a Jolie-pitt kid?

so the last name will be Chan-Zuckerberg- Jolie-pitt? and on and on...

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Old 30th September 2017, 3:03 AM   #96
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Let me put another angle at this. My buddy GB won't marry his GF of 10 yrs because she won't take his last name/wants it hyphenated. Even though they have 3 kids together.

Back to DT. If DT's GF finally gets her divorce and marries DT. Is she going to have three names. Which is T from DT. F from her ex JF and her maiden name C. What if for whatever reason DT after being married to her for awhile. What if he calls its quits and he divorces her. C now remarries a new guy. She does not like to be alone. Is she going to carry another hyphenated name brining her to 4 last names. Thats insanity.

C should just get her divorce from JF. Marry DT and have DT's last name. Since her kids by that time will be late teens. The Teens are already in a situation where there parents are not legally divorced going on year 8, and both parents have partners that they can't marry, because a Divorce has not happened. So whats the big deal if there mom does not carry the last name. Their Step mom frpm the dad side if they marry, pending JF gets a Divorce from CF, can have it.

The older son got into a debate with DT that DT's new bio son with CF, was going to have his last name, which is his fathers last name. You see how crazy this is. All because CF can't just sit down with her ex and get divorced.

Last edited by Mysterio; 30th September 2017 at 5:14 AM..
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Old 30th September 2017, 6:01 AM   #97
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There's insanity here for sure, but I don't think it's coming from any of the consenting adults raising blended families that you describe. Why is it so important to you to control your friend's relationship?
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:51 PM   #98
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For myself. I can't see my EX gf TK. Breaking up with her current hubby. Looking me up, then we build a life with her being legally married to her ex and we also include bio-kids with each other and raise her other big kids. Its all going to work out well.

Either way. Its a recipie for disaster. DT and I have had conversations before. I guess it makes it hard for me to be around his current GF. I just feel like she is allowing her Ex to call the shots and thats not right.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 12:44 AM   #99
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OP, WHY are you so obsessed with this couple???? Do you have a secret crush on the guy or something???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Springsummer View Post
this is a huge mess too.

what if Chan-Zuckerberg's kid marry a Jolie-pitt kid?

so the last name will be Chan-Zuckerberg- Jolie-pitt? and on and on...

They can choose their own name. Maybe Chazuckoliepitt.
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Old 3rd October 2017, 12:47 AM   #100
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Quote:
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I think it's a bit presumptive to call taking a spouse's last name archaic. I thought tolerance was all about respecting other people's choices and such.....
Sorry I missed this. As I explicitly said in my initial post, I have nothing against the choice anyone makes to take their spouse's last name. It is the expectation that all women should do so solely because of their gender that I find archaic.
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Old 5th October 2017, 9:11 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by Elswyth View Post
OP, WHY are you so obsessed with this couple???? Do you have a secret crush on the guy or something???



They can choose their own name. Maybe Chazuckoliepitt.
God, how did you know I am obsessed? scary...

na...Pitt is a douche and I am not a lesbian. I am fascinated with Angelina as a person though, not that we are the same type.
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