USMCHokie Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 So I have never technically lived alone...it's either been with the family, folks in a college dorm, or a roommate. Right now, I have a roommate whose recent workload leaves him at work much later than me...so I don't see him as much as before, and it almost feels like I'm living alone...I come home from work and veg on the couch by myself, then go to the gym by myself, and then come home and cook dinner and eat by myself...and it's honestly making me a little restless and bored... For those who have lived alone for a while now, how do you do it? Do you prefer living alone, or do you prefer having someone there, whether it be a roommate(s) or a significant other? How do you mitigate some of the routine drudgery...? Link to post Share on other sites
c0nfused88 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I get exactly what you're saying. I always lived either with my parents or when I came to college with roomies. When I did live in a dorm alone my last year I had a boyfriend then who was over 5-6 nights a week. I then moved in with him after I finished my undergraduate degree and lived with him throughout the master's program and into my PhD program. I moved out in February and have been living alone since then. I admit the first month or so was the absolute worst. I would dread coming home alone and being by myself. I'd go out and drive just to avoid it-- I couldn't focus or concentrate on anything. It does get better with time and you learn to appreciate it. I have come to times where I have been out with friends or on dates and I look forward to coming home and having some "me" time in front of the TV or going for a run by myself, etc. It's a good time for reflection as cliche' as that sounds-- and at least you have a roomie on weekends or at certain times. I think you should count your blessings-- many people dislike their roomies or wish they had more alone time! Find a new hobby perhaps or set up planned hangout times with the roomie? Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 Find a new hobby perhaps or set up planned hangout times with the roomie? Well, we don't necessarily need date nights...but I've desperately been in search of a new hobby or interest lately...or at least rekindling an old interest... Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Other than the time with my ex, I've lived alone for most of my adult life. There are times when it would be nice to have someone here, preferably my SO, especially to come home to, but I've gotten used to having my own space again. I don't really have a routine inside the house. Though I have one outside. I don't see it as drudgery. It's actually rather nice to have all this freedom and independence as well as being able to make my own choices about what to eat, for example - there's no one else to answer to. If I fancy 'pigging out' with a big bag of chips for a CSI marathon, I can do that. If I'm staying in, I have a huge to-do list that includes movies to watch, books to read, online courses to complete, etc. So I don't really get a chance to be bored. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 16, 2012 Author Share Posted May 16, 2012 I don't really have a routine inside the house. Though I have one outside. I don't see it as drudgery. It's actually rather nice to have all this freedom and independence as well as being able to make my own choices about what to eat, for example - there's no one else to answer to. If I fancy 'pigging out' with a big bag of chips for a CSI marathon, I can do that. If I'm staying in, I have a huge to-do list that includes movies to watch, books to read, online courses to complete, etc. So I don't really get a chance to be bored. I guess it feels like drudgery because my life is so unbelievably regimented...I could give you a schedule down to the minute of my entire week...come home from work...next episode of Borgia on Netflix while I consume pre-workout vitamins...gym...come home and sit on LS for a little while...then cook dinner...then shower...then some more LS...then sleep...it almost doesn't feel like freedom and independence...but just going through the motions, like I mentioned in a previous thread... And the funny thing is, I can't imagine life any other way... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I haven't ever, really. I had housemates during my college dorm years, and now I live with the bf. Not sure if I'm just obsessive/paranoid, but I worry that if you live alone and anything happens to you and you can't reach your phone to get emergency help, you're screwed. There was a recent case about a guy who suddenly faced muscle paralysis while lying in his bath tub. He tried yelling, but the neighbours were too far away and couldn't hear him. So he lay in the bath tub for a few days until a friend realized he wasn't answering calls and barged in. He's lucky that the friend came in time. There have also been people who had strokes at home, etc. One of them died a long, slow, horrible death because he couldn't move but didn't die immediately, so he lasted a week or two in loneliness and pain until he passed away. I don't want that happening to me. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I guess it feels like drudgery because my life is so unbelievably regimented...I could give you a schedule down to the minute of my entire week...come home from work...next episode of Borgia on Netflix while I consume pre-workout vitamins...gym...come home and sit on LS for a little while...then cook dinner...then shower...then some more LS...then sleep...it almost doesn't feel like freedom and independence...but just going through the motions, like I mentioned in a previous thread... And the funny thing is, I can't imagine life any other way... What happened to learning to cook and getting your things shipped over, including your guitar? The other thing is that you're military and that comes with a certain lifestyle. I don't want that happening to me. It's highly improbable that something like that will happen to you, Elswyth. Living alone comes with risks, sure, but I'd imagine that incidents like the one you described are very rare, especially in the young adult population. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Do you prefer living alone, or do you prefer having someone there, whether it be a roommate(s) or a significant other? How do you mitigate some of the routine drudgery...? Other than the ten years I was married, I've lived alone in my own homes for my entire adult life. There's always something to do. I would opine it's not so much about preference but rather about being comfortable either way. I enjoyed being married and having my wife in my space when she was home. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) I guess it feels like drudgery because my life is so unbelievably regimented...I could give you a schedule down to the minute of my entire week...come home from work...next episode of Borgia on Netflix while I consume pre-workout vitamins...gym...come home and sit on LS for a little while...then cook dinner...then shower...then some more LS...then sleep...it almost doesn't feel like freedom and independence...but just going through the motions, like I mentioned in a previous thread... And the funny thing is, I can't imagine life any other way... Your life is made of routine completely, you must get out of that mindset. I started living on my own in my 30s and now I love it. Yes I'd like to share my space with a man but the idea of flatmates doesn't appeal the slightest. Work is routine but I have an interesting and varied social life and the first step towards this was the banning of television and internet from my place. I have a digital radio that's always on a BBC station because I love current affairs. Otherwise I'm out about 80% of the time, only sleep, shower and cook at home. Gym, boxing, running, event organising for a surf group, various debate societies in London, weekend trips away sailing and surfing through meetup with people I had never met before, I'm off night kayaking on the Thames this Friday night. Trying to set up business on the side (will have to get internet connection for that ) and that involves a lot of research over the weekend visiting markets, etc. Lots of D.I.Y. I'm looking to join the Met police part-time. Dating, friends, office drinks on Fridays and family stuff come on top of this. Get rid of the routine and the passive stimulation. Enjoy the space and calm when it's well earned and deserved. That's what the beauty of living alone is, you get your peace and quiet when you want it and you don't have to worry about fitting in in your own home. Edited May 16, 2012 by Emilia Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I thought you were supposed to be in Afghanistan. Link to post Share on other sites
camelia86 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 dear usmchokie[/url] living alone is quite bored, you can adopt a pet to live with, dog may be a good friend, it is loyal, useful, and smart if you wanna adopting one let contact me at no kill la Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Adopt a pet! Dogs and cats are great company and they keep you busy. Also, dogs are chick-magnets. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 I thought you were supposed to be in Afghanistan. Not yet..... Link to post Share on other sites
lynbetz Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I live with my husband and my kid.. sometimes i miss living alone.. having the freedom to do what i want, having the tv to myself and having alone time whenever i want. But in my house there is love and i wouldn't change it for the world even if i do wish for more time to myself and less responsibilites. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm living alone for 5.5 years. And even when I was living with my parents, in my teens, I never felt like I was living with them. They were always out. And I used to be alone at home. So when I moved to my apartment, it was like nothing has changed except for the new atmosphere. In spite of that, there were few moments that I was craving for companion so I got me pets. I now have 3 kitties and 2 dogs and will soon have another hamster. And I love living alone, I can do whatever I want, and can invite whoever I like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 And I love living alone, I can do whatever I want, and can invite whoever I like. You don't need to live alone to be able to do whatever you want... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 You don't need to live alone to be able to do whatever you want... I mean, I don't think I can be this free to do the things that I like if I am living with my parents or with my boyfriend. I'm talking about pretty shallow things that I want to do though... Like, if my boo is here, then he'll probably won't let me stay up late at night, won't be letting me eat too much carbs, etc. etc. I can be the spontaneous,silly,crazy,adventurous, hard-headed me when I am alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 Like, if my boo is here, then he'll probably won't let me stay up late at night, won't be letting me eat too much carbs, etc. etc. Wow, you've dated guys who control your carb intake...? Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Wow, you've dated guys who control your carb intake...? Is that surprising? He even checks out the nutritional facts at the back of my groceries... And no cakes! But I love cakes... Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 Is that surprising? Yes. Was he white? But seriously though, if you're happy with the lifestyle, then all the power to you. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 You know it... But no worries, I'm counting down... 2.5 more weeks and I'll have my cakes every dayyyyyyy! Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm pretty sure I'd prefer to live alone than with someone that checks my carb intake. And the short time I lived alone I was terrified every time I shut off the lights to go to bed that some kind of psychopath was going to break in and murder me. I didn't sleep for months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted May 17, 2012 Author Share Posted May 17, 2012 I'm pretty sure I'd prefer to live alone than with someone that checks my carb intake. And the short time I lived alone I was terrified every time I shut off the lights to go to bed that some kind of psychopath was going to break in and murder me. I didn't sleep for months. Or someone who would sneak into your house and steal all your bread...? :eek: Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Or someone who would sneak into your house and steal all your bread...? :eek: Oh the horror. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I lived alone for about...on May 18 it will be 7 months. I almost cried one my first night because for the safety of my mom but that's it. I have my sister and her bf with me. But that might change soon because they are getting on my nerves. I live in a complex. To get past loneliness I guess you can just go outside or do things you like to pass the time. But for me, its various reasons. I can come in the house whenever the **** I want. I don't have to hear arguing and being woken up because of fighting. Bring women into the house. Don't be blamed for not cleaning things even though I did. Not living with my mom's husband cause I can't stand him. Being around alcoholics. Not smelling nicotine every morning. Yeah, I'm pretty satisfied. Just not 100% there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts