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Dad was accused of having an affair with mom's best friend. Denies it.


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Old 17th September 2017, 1:04 PM   #1
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My dad was accused of having an affair

My mom tried to commit suicide by slitting her wrists a few weeks ago. My dad found her, and took her to the hospital. We were confused about why she did it. Apparently her best friend was texting her that she and my dad are having an affair.

My dad is saying that he isn't having an affair and I believe him. My mom is beside herself because this woman has been her best friend for years, before I was born. She is my godmother and I have been around her my whole life. She was texting my mom that she has proof and screenshots of texts from him, yet when asked to show them, didn't. She was asked by multiple people to see what my dad has been saying, yet hasn't shown us any of the texts. I have no idea why she would say those things.

When I asked my dad about it he was really upset and showed me his phone. There were texts to her, but nothing like she was saying he said. He is saying that he's in love with my mom and wouldn't cheat on her. He told me two days ago he's never been with anyone else. That wasn't something I knew. He said the friend is obsessed with him, and while he does think she's attractive, he is more into my mom.

He was saying that things up until this were great. They were going on trips, doing things, having sex, and if he were having an affair those things wouldn't have happened. He told me two nights ago, he's never been with anyone but my mom. Almost everyone who knows is saying that they don't think he was cheating on her. Only my mom doesn't.

She's been staying with my wife and I with our newborn. But, she's changed. She is normally bright and bubbly and laughs a lot, but I haven't heard her laugh since she's been here. She's been really close with our baby, and keeps saying he looks like my brother that died as an infant. So I know that's difficult for her.

My dad came over for dinner two nights ago, and she was very quiet, but as he was leaving started screaming at him for cheating. He just told her he hadn't and he wants her.

They're both devastated by this whole thing and neither knows what to do.

Why would someone make up an affair and how can I help my parents?

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Old 18th September 2017, 1:32 AM   #2
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Iím very sorry to learn about the situation with your parents, friend. I can understand how painful this must be for all of you. I feel itíll be best to encourage your parents to seek the help of a counselor either together or individually. Grace and peace to you and your family!
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Old 20th September 2017, 12:27 PM   #3
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Iím very sorry to learn about the situation with your parents, friend. I can understand how painful this must be for all of you. I feel itíll be best to encourage your parents to seek the help of a counselor either together or individually. Grace and peace to you and your family!
Thanks. She goes to therapy by herself twice a week, but it's not really helping. She's just beside herself... so is he. What I don't understand is why her "best friend " would say that if it weren't true. My dad's story is she's obsessed with him.
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Old 20th September 2017, 12:49 PM   #4
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I'd probably be investing more of my time and energy into the BFF at this point and figure out what her deal is!
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Old 20th September 2017, 12:53 PM   #5
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Most wayward spouses will deny until the proof is staring them in the face. If I were your mom I would be looking deeply into that phone even to the point of hacking the deleted messages (google it there are ways to do this it is exactly how I was able to prove my WH's A).

I fear your mother has only been shown the tip of the iceberg and where there is smoke there is fire.
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Old 20th September 2017, 1:38 PM   #6
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Cheater deny, deny, deny. Even with proof they deny.

Is it more likely he is cheating and denying or her best friend decided to just destroy all her friendships over nothing?

Agree with the other poster, I would be digging into his phone and pulling up deleted information.
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Old 20th September 2017, 2:45 PM   #7
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People don't just make up these things unless they're a psychopath which is a very small percent of the population.

The chances are your dad was cheating. Or at least being inappropriate enough either emotionally or physically that this woman was led to believe there was something there. I'm sorry.

Is your mom in counseling? These first few months can be totally devastating and you walk around feeling like your world has been torn apart and ina complete daze.

She needs to get into counseling,dad needs to be in counseling and your godmother needs to cough up proof or (and) take a hike
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Old 20th September 2017, 3:14 PM   #8
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The thing is, when she's asked to show the proof she supposedly has she makes excuses for not showing it. It's like ok either put up or shut up. She's saying she has texts and pictures, but is empty handed when it comes down to it.

Yes, my mom does go to therapy twice a week. Every time she comes back she's sobbing.
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Old 20th September 2017, 4:35 PM   #9
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The thing is, when she's asked to show the proof she supposedly has she makes excuses for not showing it. It's like ok either put up or shut up. She's saying she has texts and pictures, but is empty handed when it comes down to it.

Yes, my mom does go to therapy twice a week. Every time she comes back she's sobbing.
Your Mom has experienced psychological trauma just from her BFF informing her of this information (true or not). That seed has been planted in her mind and she will most likely feel this way until she has REAL proof of truth or some kind of re-assurance that your dad in fact did not cheat. I honestly think there is more than meets the eye here and the only way to uncover the truth will have to be done through acquiring texts, emails, calls, keylogger, and maybe even having a sit down with the BFF maybe she has proof.
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Old 20th September 2017, 4:59 PM   #10
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maybe even having a sit down with the BFF maybe she has proof.
She's been called, text, and met with in person for the proof and has yet to provide it. She's been asked multiple times, yet always makes up a story as to why she can't show proof. My mom even pulled their phone records and the calls this woman is saying happened from his phone, aren't there. I've seen them myself. My dad is saying that she's tried to get him to cheat with her for a few years now, and this time when he shot her down, she flipped. I don't why someone would brag about it, and having proof the way she has, and not produce it.

The thing is, my mom is a really nice person, and I hate to see her like this. I know that her therapist is making her talk about my brother who's death she never really dealt with and it's bringing up some really bad memories.
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Old 20th September 2017, 5:07 PM   #11
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If she had proof surely she'd show it.

Have you spoken to the so called friend?

It's very sad that this has affected your mom like this. Do you you think that's why she hasn't shown proof? Because she feels bad?
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Old 20th September 2017, 6:48 PM   #12
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Arrange for your father to take a polygraph. Ask mom for questions she needs to know the answers to.
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Old 21st September 2017, 7:34 AM   #13
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I don't understand why she wouldn't show the proof if she actually has it. That makes me think she is making it up. On the other hand, if she has been trying to have an affair with your dad for years and he's turned her down, why is he even texting her? Seems like he would avoid her.

I feel bad for your mom.
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Old 21st September 2017, 8:41 AM   #14
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if this friend can describe his weiner, or identify scars or moles on him, etc ok...
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Old 21st September 2017, 12:40 PM   #15
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I'm so sorry you all are going through this. It sounds like the woman hasn't shown any proof. If she was bold enough to claim the affair, I would think she wouldn't have a problem providing the proof. Sounds more like she had an affair of the mind and when he shot her down last time, she wanted to make his life miserable. So in essence, she is getting what she wanted. Perhaps explaining this in a way to your mom that she can understand will help. She's allowing this person to ruin their life together because there is no proof. I'm glad she is in counseling and perhaps once she deals with your brother's death, she will come out of it on the other side. Praying for you all. ((Hugs))
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