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Wedding dates clashing with major social/sporting events


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Old 3rd July 2017, 11:04 PM   #1
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Wedding dates clashing with major social/sporting events

Hi everyone,

This post is about a cousin of mine whose wedding date has been scheduled for the 29th September, 2018. Why is this date significant? Well, this date will almost certainly clash with the AFL Grand Final which, save for a handful of occasions, is held on the last Saturday of September.

The AFL would be Australia's equivalent to the NFL in America. The Grand Final is essentially Australia's Super Bowl. It's a day so sacred for sport lovers that in Melbourne, the state government actually made the Friday preceding it a public holiday, just so the public could attend the parade through the city.

I knew my cousin was getting married, but I didn't know the date. Personally, I could live for one year without watching it or partying at a function that my husband is normally invited to by business colleagues.

When I opened the invitation and saw the date, I immediately knew there'd be trouble with that date. I told my husband and he got pretty riled. He said: "**** that, you'll be going by yourself. WTF was that woman thinking when she chose that date?"

I told him to calm down and not get mean about it. He said "Stupidity gives me the ****s. Anyone who plans their wedding day on Grand Final day is either a moron, selfish or a selfish moron." He then started insulting her husband-to-be, who he's never met, saying stuff like "he's whipped mangina" et al.

I'm not really sure what do. My cousin is will upset if I decline without good reason, yet I don't really have a good enough reason. RSVP date isn't until June next year, but I'm no doubt going to talk to her on Facebook and IRL many times before then. OMG, this is so awkward.
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Old 4th July 2017, 7:56 AM   #2
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Pick which is more important to you & go to that, your cousin's feelings be damned. If you want to go to the wedding & let your husband go to the game, do that

Personally I'd never schedule a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. I even delayed my mother's wake / funeral by one day because I didn't want people ducking out to watch a football game. Had she been alive my mother would have been one of the one's watching the game.

Almost every day will have conflicts. You simply have to make a choice.

Never tell her you picked a sport over her. Just say you had a conflict.
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Old 4th July 2017, 8:03 AM   #3
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I wouldn't get my panties into a twist just yet. Maybe they will find a way to play the game at the reception. You could even jokingly suggest that to her, although I'm sure scores of others will be, too!

With that said, hopefully it's not a bad omen. I got married on the first day of fishing season, which caused some grumbling and complaining among the men on my ex's side of the family, and my marriage didn't last .
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Old 5th July 2017, 8:19 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Pick which is more important to you & go to that, your cousin's feelings be damned. If you want to go to the wedding & let your husband go to the game, do that

Personally I'd never schedule a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday. I even delayed my mother's wake / funeral by one day because I didn't want people ducking out to watch a football game. Had she been alive my mother would have been one of the one's watching the game.

Almost every day will have conflicts. You simply have to make a choice.

Never tell her you picked a sport over her. Just say you had a conflict.
See, I don't even know what I'll be doing in late September this year, let alone next year! I am irritated that my cousin could be so daft as to not understand how organising your wedding day on Grand Final day is such a no-no.

I can live without watching it, and I can even live without going to any functions related to it. But I really don't want to go to the wedding without my husband.

I called my Dad today and asked him what he thought, as he's into football as well. He said he was "floored" by the date, but that family is more important than a game, so he'll get over it.

My Mum isn't into football and doesn't get why my husband is so angry - she said she'd know better herself than to have a wedding on that date, though.

I told my husband that I will be going, and that while I get that he's irritated, could he please reconsider as I don't want to go by myelf. He flat-out said no!

My Mum is currently staying with us, and she tried to convince my husband to think about it. Hubby sat next to my Mum, put her arm around her and said: "Sandra, you know that you're my favourite mother-in-law, but... not on your life, or anyone elses."

My Mum pouted at him and said he'd be missed. Hubby smiled at her and made a flippant comment about how he'd he a misery guts and bring everyone down and "you'd all be wishing I hadn't come after all."

I guess it's set. I'll wait to RSVP. I'm still not sure what excuse I'll use for why hubby won't come. I told him he left me in an awkward position. He sarcastically responded saying he'll "ring my cousin and tell her she's a dumb arse - that'll alleviate the awkwardness."

My husband... he's one of a kind!
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Old 5th July 2017, 8:22 AM   #5
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You're husband is not being very mature about this, sad to say . I hope he hates the teams that make it to the game, and it's as boring as hell!
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Old 5th July 2017, 8:39 AM   #6
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You're husband is not being very mature about this, sad to say . I hope he hates the teams that make it to the game, and it's as boring as hell!
My husband is one to dig in his heels and be very stubborn. He can be very arrogant when people do things which he perceives as being stupid.

We both support the same team, with said team being second on the ladder. There's a fair chance the team will be there or close enough over the next two seasons.

That's not really the point, though. If our team was last, and his two most hated teams were playing-off, he'd still want to be with his mates, drinking and partying.
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Old 5th July 2017, 9:46 AM   #7
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If your husband's plan is to watch it on television, then he should suck it up, go to the wedding with you, then duck out to watch the game either in the bar in the facility or in your hotel room. If he has actual tickets, well, that may be a different story.


Yes, your cousin is daft for not realizing what date she picked. But like your dad said, she's still family & it's only a game.
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Old 5th July 2017, 12:29 PM   #8
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It is over a year away. Things can change. It is good you have made your decision to be there for your cousin & you never know your DH could change his mind last minute if he isn't pushed into it. My DG is the most stubborn man too & our whole fall / winter social life is planned around when his team is playing, but he has made allowances for me last minute too.
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Old 5th July 2017, 12:39 PM   #9
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How close to your cousin are you? How well does your husband know her, if at all? If he doesn't know her well, why should he care much about attending her wedding, especially as he hasn't even met the groom? I'd be reluctant to go to such a wedding even if I didn't have any other priorities, but might to support my wife. If it were my own cousin, I might not go if we weren't close, or if going would involve expensive travel. If it were someone I knew well and liked, I'd make the effort to go - apparently that does not apply here.


Regardless, he is being ungracious about it all, even if his wish to do something else is valid.
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Old 5th July 2017, 4:54 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Globug View Post
It is over a year away. Things can change. It is good you have made your decision to be there for your cousin & you never know your DH could change his mind last minute if he isn't pushed into it. My DG is the most stubborn man too & our whole fall / winter social life is planned around when his team is playing, but he has made allowances for me last minute too.
I have until June 1 next year before I have to RSVP. Hopefully hubby knows what his plans are by then and hopefully his plans don't tickle his fancy enough to make an exception. I'm really not all that hopeful, though!
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Old 5th July 2017, 5:08 PM   #11
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How close to your cousin are you? How well does your husband know her, if at all? If he doesn't know her well, why should he care much about attending her wedding, especially as he hasn't even met the groom? I'd be reluctant to go to such a wedding even if I didn't have any other priorities, but might to support my wife. If it were my own cousin, I might not go if we weren't close, or if going would involve expensive travel. If it were someone I knew well and liked, I'd make the effort to go - apparently that does not apply here.


Regardless, he is being ungracious about it all, even if his wish to do something else is valid.
I grew up in the country and so did my cousin. We are actually the same age and along with being very close, we boarded at the same school. She stayed in the country whilst I moved to the city for my career.

My cousin later moved to England for a while where she met her fiancé, also an expatriate Australian. They moved back for good fairly recently as they plan to have children. I plan on catching up with her soon.

My cosuin and I are fairly similar in temperament, but we've chosen completely opposite men to marry. My husband is an alpha male who struggles to identify with men who aren't like him, while my cousin's SO is an art curator and dance coreographer.
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Old 5th July 2017, 5:15 PM   #12
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Complete sidenote but your dad sounds like a real man because family comes first and your husband sounds like a jack because he prefers the game than to spend that day with you
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Old 29th September 2017, 4:59 PM   #13
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So, today is the AFL Grand Final, or the Super Bowl equivalent here in Australia. Our city's team, the Adelaide Crows, has made it through to the Grand Final.

My husband, through some of his contacts, managed to get an invite to a corporate section which includes drinks and nibbles. All he needed to pay for was flights to the host city (Melbourne) and accommodation.

Anyway, as I took my husband to the airport yesterday morning, he kept reminding me how he will not be going to the wedding (I haven't done the RSVP yet) because there's a very real chance the Crows might be back again next year.

I informed him then and there that I've already accepted that he's not going and that I will just tell them in due course. He then starts up again about how stupid my cousin is for even booking her wedding on Grand Final day!

By this point I was getting a bit irritated. I told him that I don't deserve to be made to feel bad and it's not my fault that she booked her wedding on that day. He told me to stop being defensive! WTF!?

The thing is, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do get that he has a point. The date annoys me on a personal level just slightly. I enjoy my football as well!

However, I'm a forgiving person who understands that the organised date is through pure ignorance and nothing else. My husband's attitude with everything is that stupidity is never an excucse, especially if it impacts others.

I've told my husband before that being an arsehole is even less of an excuse than ignorance, as ignorance isn't something people can help in the moment, yet being an arsehole is knowing better but choosing to be mean.

He just responded with: "whatever" then kept going on about how my cousin's fiancée is a "door mat" and "soft" and other insults.

I told my husband to stop or he can get an Uber back from the airport as I wouldn't come and pick him up.

He stopped after that thankfully. I just don't get why he needed to be negative when he was heading off for one of the most amazing weekends of any football supporting person's life.

Just personally I would have killed to go where he's going. However, very limited spots through corporate sponsors were always going to be limited only to the persons who conduct business. An equivalent package would costs thousands!

I'm consoling myself with heading back home to my parent's property with the boys. My parents are putting on a big banquet at their house with the whole family. It should be a fun evening, especially if we win!

Last edited by Chardonnay Renée; 29th September 2017 at 5:07 PM..
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Old 29th September 2017, 5:18 PM   #14
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Are you certain there's no valid reason why your cousin selected that date?

Regardless, if you prioritise sports over your cousin's wedding, then decline. This isn't your hill to die on, nor your issue to address, imo. Your cousin is presumably a grown woman who can manage her own choices.
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Old 29th September 2017, 5:37 PM   #15
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Are you certain there's no valid reason why your cousin selected that date?

Regardless, if you prioritise sports over your cousin's wedding, then decline. This isn't your hill to die on, nor your issue to address, imo. Your cousin is presumably a grown woman who can manage her own choices.
I have not asked her directly. However, discussion amongst family is that there's no objective reason for why she has booked it on that date. It's just seemingly a random date in Spring.

I am going to the wedding, so is all of my family. It's only my husband who won't be coming as he refuses to go both on principal and because there's a chance our team will be competing again.
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