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I broke nc and got her back! (UPDATE: split up again)


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 29th January 2017, 10:06 PM   #16
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Ohk gotcha, completely understood. Couple of questions, what exactly are breadcrumbs? like her throwing bone at me? Also shes told me(before we broke up the first time) that when she used to reach out to this one particular ex everytime something went wrong with another guy and kinda manipulate him in a sense.. so after we broke up the first time and we began talking again i told her I wasn't gonna be strung along and have me end up like him. She assured me that, that wasn't the case here. We then got back together for the 2nd time. During this period she told me she believes one main reason why we've had problems is because She has trust issues...and she told me it's because of past guys and also that out of every single guy she's dealt with, I'm the only one who's been so different. Ps. I'm Jamaican, i just do it differently lol plus the accent helps. But that being said I KNOW she'll come back, and I quite frankly knowing her expect to hear from her within a month, but also. Say i reach out after 30 days saying something along the lines of "I just wanted to tell you that you were right...THe breakup was definitely the for the best. It would really be a shame to throw away our friendship though. How about we go out for some coffee, We can work on being friends again no hard feelings" (and i know you're gonna say friendzone 100% kills the chances but that's not the intention behind it, because i'm not gonna sit around waiting for her to comeback
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Old 29th January 2017, 10:34 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by teammagma View Post
Ohk gotcha, completely understood. Couple of questions, what exactly are breadcrumbs? like her throwing bone at me? Also shes told me(before we broke up the first time) that when she used to reach out to this one particular ex everytime something went wrong with another guy and kinda manipulate him in a sense.. so after we broke up the first time and we began talking again i told her I wasn't gonna be strung along and have me end up like him. She assured me that, that wasn't the case here. We then got back together for the 2nd time. During this period she told me she believes one main reason why we've had problems is because She has trust issues...and she told me it's because of past guys and also that out of every single guy she's dealt with, I'm the only one who's been so different. Ps. I'm Jamaican, i just do it differently lol plus the accent helps. But that being said I KNOW she'll come back, and I quite frankly knowing her expect to hear from her within a month, but also. Say i reach out after 30 days saying something along the lines of "I just wanted to tell you that you were right...THe breakup was definitely the for the best. It would really be a shame to throw away our friendship though. How about we go out for some coffee, We can work on being friends again no hard feelings" (and i know you're gonna say friendzone 100% kills the chances but that's not the intention behind it, because i'm not gonna sit around waiting for her to comeback
Lmao. Grasshopper you got along way to go. Stop reading how to get you ex-back stuff and work on you. She did you a favor because now you see she is unstable.
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Old 29th January 2017, 11:15 PM   #18
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Say i reach out after 30 days saying something along the lines of "I just wanted to tell you that you were right...THe breakup was definitely the for the best. It would really be a shame to throw away our friendship though. How about we go out for some coffee, We can work on being friends again no hard feelings" (and i know you're gonna say friendzone 100% kills the chances but that's not the intention behind it, because i'm not gonna sit around waiting for her to comeback
Not gonna work. She will definitely see right through this, you will appear needy/controlling and you will push her away further. You're obsession with control over this is the problem here, and what she sensed in you. You cannot control any of this. You have to LET GO. It's the only way you could even stand a chance with this woman. The more you try to control it, the worse off you are.

I know you are young, and you don't trust us, and will probably do it anyway and learn the hard way.... butttt I'll repeat it anyways.... NC FOREVER until she comes back. You have to move on FOR REAL. Work on learning to let go. Work on your control issues i.e. neediness. You only have control over yourself. Everything else you need to LET GO OF.
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Old 30th January 2017, 1:21 AM   #19
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Not gonna work. She will definitely see right through this, you will appear needy/controlling and you will push her away further. You're obsession with control over this is the problem here, and what she sensed in you. You cannot control any of this. You have to LET GO. It's the only way you could even stand a chance with this woman. The more you try to control it, the worse off you are.

I know you are young, and you don't trust us, and will probably do it anyway and learn the hard way.... butttt I'll repeat it anyways.... NC FOREVER until she comes back. You have to move on FOR REAL. Work on learning to let go. Work on your control issues i.e. neediness. You only have control over yourself. Everything else you need to LET GO OF.
You're for sure right I'm young and dumb but I'm different. The first time I broke NC it put me back to square one. I truly want her back and I'm taking your guys advice! Leap of faith here but it also just makes sense. I trust you guys. but can you just clarify, what are 'breadcrumbs' and how do I respond to her when she contacts me?

Last edited by teammagma; 30th January 2017 at 1:35 AM..
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Old 30th January 2017, 2:55 AM   #20
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You're for sure right I'm young and dumb but I'm different. The first time I broke NC it put me back to square one. I truly want her back and I'm taking your guys advice! Leap of faith here but it also just makes sense. I trust you guys. but can you just clarify, what are 'breadcrumbs' and how do I respond to her when she contacts me?

Breadcrumbs usually come in the form of text from a dumper. They are usual sent out of guilt or a moment of weakness. They are what they mean. You get a crumb and thats it... you never get the whole loaf. Why are they sent... various reasons... but its usually never to get back with you. It just means they have power over you.
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Old 30th January 2017, 2:59 AM   #21
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You don't respond you just move one
You don't wonder and hope you move on !
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Old 30th January 2017, 6:37 PM   #22
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They can smell when you move on,you cant fake it.

Btw stop doing things just to show her how much fun you're having. Instead,work on having sincere fun and generally nit caring who sees you having fun.
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Old 31st January 2017, 1:04 AM   #23
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Alright thanks for all the info guys! I'll definitely keep yall updated! Time to move forward!
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Old 13th May 2017, 2:09 AM   #24
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Alright thanks for all the info guys! I'll definitely keep yall updated! Time to move forward!
UPDATE, Its freaking MAY 13Th..... Below is an email i sent to clay andrews team march 29th

So, I broke NC after a month ( told her something along the lines of, Hey I just saw xyz and it made me think of abc and that made me smile ) She replied saying "Please don't contact me again" I then went to instagram and said after all this time i value our friendship lets be friends. She said "no. I said dont contact me" i then said I'm glad you were in my life, you're a wonderful person. If you ever change your mind call/text me. She read it and didn't reply. 2 weeks later i crumbled and sent her a long msg about my love for her

"Hey, this may be the last thing you wanted to see on your phone but I had to get this off my chest. I want you to know that I've shared ALOT of first experiences with you. In fact I still love you and I don't want to be the ex that can't move on, but after all this time I've thought long and hard about EVERYTHING. I now understand why the little things i did annoyed you, that wouldn't normally do. I now know EXACTLY why you felt like you were my "mom" sometimes. I know why you would sometimes be cold and I get it now. I now know the things i did that contributed to you feeling that way and not even knowing why you felt the way you did. I think of you every single day, i think about the first day we met, I remember the day we had our indoor picnic, when we got tested together, I remember our drive to coastal, I remember when you'd out me on new music like kodak, I remember when we did that african dance before watching split together, i even remember trying after death sauce with you, everywhere i go reminds me of you and i know we've only dated for about 2 months but love holds no boundaries/time limits. I understand that you felt like your freedom was being taken away and you wanted that back. I understand EXACTLY how we were on different levels and i now know how to fix those issues. i believe we moved waaaay too fast, but i strongly believe it could be corrected. Some of the things we've shared I've never shared with someone else. Everytime i go to kure i think of when we'ed go together.(ps i came 2nd place in tricks the other night going up against the TOP guys there) I come across instagram posts I'd instantly wanna share with you. I love the fact the we think alike and that we have the same taste in music. I listen to chixtape 4 and Kelly price (migos) like every single day and you're all i see. I'm not trying to come off like the crazy ex but it's truly how i feel, I'd rather send this here than show up at your door and having all hell break loose lol. But i realise that a connection you have with someone will always be there. It's just the attraction that fades away, with clingyness, being controlling, being a doormat and there has to be balance and it has to flow naturally. I now understand exactly what that means, even thou we tried to make it work the 2nd time around we didn't have enough time individually to address all the problems and I've learned that time is key. I'd love to be with you forever, but i understand that you don't always get what you want, and things also take time. I've accepted the breakup and know for a fact that our old relationships are DEAD AND GONE but that doesn't mean a new one can't be brewed and turn out great. I'm so much more knowledgeable than i was before and i thank you for that, it allowed me to properly assess everything. Though i have no idea if you've done the same i know when the time is right it'll happen. I remember taking you to dinner over in harbison and the joy i felt was unbelievable being that i had my own car now and i was the man ��, I'm sure you know by this I've started a vlog channel haha which i honestly don't think I'd ever have back then, but I'm glad i did. I watch our old vlogs and look at our pictures i forgot we even took at times and it puts the biggest smile on my face . I remember showing you pictures from my google drive of past exes etc and I've always prayed/hoped that you'd never end up like that. i know about your whole past with guys and future goals, I understand why you'd wanna work on yourself more as well. I understand why you wouldn't want to feel the uncomfortable emotional feeling when we had during those talks but i know for a fact based on how I've changed things could NEVER be the same again. So many people tell me move on, you're still on that, let her go, she doesn't deserve you, she's a bitch etc. But I've never let that get in the way of how i truly feel about you (I'm writing a novel at this point lol). I see all your positives/negatives and i see ways in how it could work out. I truly don't understand why you told me not to contact you anymore and I'm sure you knew that drove me crazy (well you got your wish) or why you'd wanna give me back my ijust and I know we're both so young, but this feeling i feel toward you is unreal. Not ever talking to you again would be the last thing I'd ever wish for, even though i said if you broke up with me I'm gone forever. I understand we both have insecurities and we always will. I can also understand not talking to someone to prevent future hurt, as i did with Pete. In regards to the whole celibacy thing as you saw I'd give up anything for you, and i do believe i gave my full 100% too quickly hell i could be even hurting my chances by hitting send but life will unfold. The long and short of it is that I wanna give it one more shot and that'll only happen if the feeling is mutual but after sending this message i feel like I'll be able to move on for good with or without you as much as it hurts, as much as i love you (lol I'm talking like we already married but thats love for you) i just want you to know exactly how i feel about you. I'd love to go back to the talking stage and stay there for however long before becoming exclusive because i know that will be a major determining factor on whether or not things could work. If we stayed talking, we can be together and still have freedom to do as we please, but losing you forever is almost unbearable, and idgaf what anyone thinks if this is a bitch move on my part or not. I'm being a man, doing what's best for me and letting the woman i love know how I feel. I'd love to see you again. My friends would be telling me not to waste my time typing this and that this is the last thing to do and just cut all ties but i could never leave **** up in the air like that, not with you. Yhkno are you even deserving of this? Well imma show you how different i am from the rest. But the truth is as far as right now it's march 4th 1:15AM and I'm typing this message, i pray I'll never have to send it and that you reach out to me before i do. But if i end up sending it then just know i truly love you (whether you care or not). That being said and done, i guess I'll leave it at that and let things unfold" that was sent on March 6th 2017

She replied

"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to speak to you. I don't want to see you. I don't want you in my life. Please stop.
It's over. Please leave me alone."

I replied alright i guess this is goodbye.
She blocked me on Instagram before reading that message. Then blocked me on snapchat and twitter. However she didn't block me on Facebook (we're not friends thou, because i blocked/unblocked her)

I kept in touch with her sisters since the breakup, i was supposed to train her older sister (age 26) but she cancelled on me a bunch of times. (my ex is 21 & I'm 19 bout to be 20 june 26!). And i spoke with her younger sister (age 16) a couple times just about normal stuff. However 3 weeks after she blocked me on Snapchat (not Instagram).my ex then unfriended my mom from Facebook. I feel like if i just forget she ever existed she'll be back at somepoint becuase she's said herself I'm the best guy she's ever been with because I've always treated her right and she used to dealing with "hood niggas" but we broke up 3 months ago and I'm going through some daily emotional pain man. I do have a vlog channel on youtube to try and stay focused but i still love her and hopes she'll realise what she had sooner or later.


END EMAIL^

If you guys are still reading lol
At this point i'm no longer eager to be with her as I know it's not the best but I still see how it could work you know. I haven't spoken to her since. She just graduated university last week. I wanted to wish her congrats but didn't so it's been like 2 month NC since march. I did text her sister older sister thou last week (may 5th, the last time we spoke before that was march 6th) the day my ex told me she didn't want me in her life,I had met up with her 2 weeks post breakup and gave her a workout plan, she kept cancelling, but they days my ex told me not to contact and the day she said she doesn't want me in her life I told her older sister, she said damn dude, but from that point i just left it alone.)

So when i texted her sister, (MAY 5th) I said "Hey (her name) i see you making gains, keep up the good work, hope youre not baking up a storm!"

She replied saying

Thanks!!! I've been meal prepping for 3 weeks and I haven't baked at all lol. Im 10lbs down!

I responded saying

That's excellent! I dont have the discipline to meal prep so you beat me there but i have cut out all candy bars, makes me feel healthy

No reply

That I'm not worried about because it was still positive

Also, her family (her mom,her sister, the one i was supposed to train) still interacts with me and my mom on facebook and snapchat by commenting and liking posts and vice versa.

I was planning on texting her mom happy mothers day and leaving it at that, as we did talk in person after the breakup ( i ran into her in public) and we had a long conversation about stuff nothing about my ex and it went great.

But I'm conflicted with being myself and just sending it and not expecting anything in return but I also don't want them to take it any way. It could go either way and I shouldn't care but idk. I feel like I'm reading too much into it and you probably think I'm crazy typing this long ass post but truth is. I still love her even thou she was a dick, every SINGLE day she's on my mind, i still dream about her and her family and I don't see how after everything we've gone through you can do that to someone who you've said you've loved. I know we only dated for 2 and half months and other people have had it worse, but I just wanna know if we'll ever talk again some day yhkno and I do steps to move forward, my vlog channel, my fitness training, my acting etc, but this is like the worst. I have tunnel vision, every girl who's tried talking to me I have little or no interest in them, I'm self aware but idk...If you guys are still reading. I plan on continuing NC forever, hoping she'll come around one day, which is kinda freaking sad, because everyone around me gives me a hard time about bringing this up daily lol and THEY ALL TELL ME SHE DOESN'T DESERVE ME, and I know that too, but I think im not gonna wish them happy mothers day, I'll just leave em be and do me. As much as this FREAKING HURTS LIKE A BIIITCHHH! like damn. THanks for reading

Last edited by teammagma; 13th May 2017 at 2:15 AM..
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Old 13th May 2017, 4:08 AM   #25
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Holy @#$% man. I'm going to be real with you here.

This is over.

You NEED to move on from this man. You broke NC, which as you can see is never a good idea. What you did was push her further away - just like we warned you would happen. Contacting and chasing her is just going to make her lose more and more attraction to you, and KILL your chances more and more.

The constant contacting her, the long letter, confessing your love, staying in touch with her family. This is not only hardcore tanking your attraction to her, but it's bordering on reaching creepy/stalkerish territory, ESPECIALLY in her eyes. This is breaking NC to the max.

This is what you need to do, ASAP: STOP contacting her. For real - just go real, HARD NC. In fact, in your case I 100% suggest blocking the number and deleting it out of your phone - to force yourself to keep NC. Literally anything you could say to her will just make this worse. As for the mutual friends/family members - cut contact immediately. It's usually best after a breakup to also move on from them too. This isn't really healthy because it's preventing you from moving on and getting her out of your mind, and if it's getting back to her she might even see it as a pathetic attempt to stay in her life - ruining this even more. NC on the entire family.

And you have to actually move on during this NC period - so you need to try you. You have ACCEPT that the breakup is final, to move on. Reading your posts, I can clearly sense you are still convinced in your heart that she might come back to you, and that you two should be together... I know it's hard, but letting that go is the only way you are going to move on from this. This is true whether she comes back or not, it's the only way.

In this situation, you did a lot of damage already. If you contact her again, she's going to really despise you, if she doesn't already. This is NOT the note you want to leave a relationship on. Do not contact her!!! The ONLY way to do some much needed damage control right now is to go hard, strict, eternal NC.

Last edited by jamili; 13th May 2017 at 4:12 AM..
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Old 13th May 2017, 4:19 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by teammagma View Post
UPDATE, Its freaking MAY 13Th..... Below is an email i sent to clay andrews team march 29th

So, I broke NC after a month ( told her something along the lines of, Hey I just saw xyz and it made me think of abc and that made me smile ) She replied saying "Please don't contact me again" I then went to instagram and said after all this time i value our friendship lets be friends. She said "no. I said dont contact me" i then said I'm glad you were in my life, you're a wonderful person. If you ever change your mind call/text me. She read it and didn't reply. 2 weeks later i crumbled and sent her a long msg about my love for her

"Hey, this may be the last thing you wanted to see on your phone but I had to get this off my chest. I want you to know that I've shared ALOT of first experiences with you. In fact I still love you and I don't want to be the ex that can't move on, but after all this time I've thought long and hard about EVERYTHING. I now understand why the little things i did annoyed you, that wouldn't normally do. I now know EXACTLY why you felt like you were my "mom" sometimes. I know why you would sometimes be cold and I get it now. I now know the things i did that contributed to you feeling that way and not even knowing why you felt the way you did. I think of you every single day, i think about the first day we met, I remember the day we had our indoor picnic, when we got tested together, I remember our drive to coastal, I remember when you'd out me on new music like kodak, I remember when we did that african dance before watching split together, i even remember trying after death sauce with you, everywhere i go reminds me of you and i know we've only dated for about 2 months but love holds no boundaries/time limits. I understand that you felt like your freedom was being taken away and you wanted that back. I understand EXACTLY how we were on different levels and i now know how to fix those issues. i believe we moved waaaay too fast, but i strongly believe it could be corrected. Some of the things we've shared I've never shared with someone else. Everytime i go to kure i think of when we'ed go together.(ps i came 2nd place in tricks the other night going up against the TOP guys there) I come across instagram posts I'd instantly wanna share with you. I love the fact the we think alike and that we have the same taste in music. I listen to chixtape 4 and Kelly price (migos) like every single day and you're all i see. I'm not trying to come off like the crazy ex but it's truly how i feel, I'd rather send this here than show up at your door and having all hell break loose lol. But i realise that a connection you have with someone will always be there. It's just the attraction that fades away, with clingyness, being controlling, being a doormat and there has to be balance and it has to flow naturally. I now understand exactly what that means, even thou we tried to make it work the 2nd time around we didn't have enough time individually to address all the problems and I've learned that time is key. I'd love to be with you forever, but i understand that you don't always get what you want, and things also take time. I've accepted the breakup and know for a fact that our old relationships are DEAD AND GONE but that doesn't mean a new one can't be brewed and turn out great. I'm so much more knowledgeable than i was before and i thank you for that, it allowed me to properly assess everything. Though i have no idea if you've done the same i know when the time is right it'll happen. I remember taking you to dinner over in harbison and the joy i felt was unbelievable being that i had my own car now and i was the man ��, I'm sure you know by this I've started a vlog channel haha which i honestly don't think I'd ever have back then, but I'm glad i did. I watch our old vlogs and look at our pictures i forgot we even took at times and it puts the biggest smile on my face . I remember showing you pictures from my google drive of past exes etc and I've always prayed/hoped that you'd never end up like that. i know about your whole past with guys and future goals, I understand why you'd wanna work on yourself more as well. I understand why you wouldn't want to feel the uncomfortable emotional feeling when we had during those talks but i know for a fact based on how I've changed things could NEVER be the same again. So many people tell me move on, you're still on that, let her go, she doesn't deserve you, she's a bitch etc. But I've never let that get in the way of how i truly feel about you (I'm writing a novel at this point lol). I see all your positives/negatives and i see ways in how it could work out. I truly don't understand why you told me not to contact you anymore and I'm sure you knew that drove me crazy (well you got your wish) or why you'd wanna give me back my ijust and I know we're both so young, but this feeling i feel toward you is unreal. Not ever talking to you again would be the last thing I'd ever wish for, even though i said if you broke up with me I'm gone forever. I understand we both have insecurities and we always will. I can also understand not talking to someone to prevent future hurt, as i did with Pete. In regards to the whole celibacy thing as you saw I'd give up anything for you, and i do believe i gave my full 100% too quickly hell i could be even hurting my chances by hitting send but life will unfold. The long and short of it is that I wanna give it one more shot and that'll only happen if the feeling is mutual but after sending this message i feel like I'll be able to move on for good with or without you as much as it hurts, as much as i love you (lol I'm talking like we already married but thats love for you) i just want you to know exactly how i feel about you. I'd love to go back to the talking stage and stay there for however long before becoming exclusive because i know that will be a major determining factor on whether or not things could work. If we stayed talking, we can be together and still have freedom to do as we please, but losing you forever is almost unbearable, and idgaf what anyone thinks if this is a bitch move on my part or not. I'm being a man, doing what's best for me and letting the woman i love know how I feel. I'd love to see you again. My friends would be telling me not to waste my time typing this and that this is the last thing to do and just cut all ties but i could never leave **** up in the air like that, not with you. Yhkno are you even deserving of this? Well imma show you how different i am from the rest. But the truth is as far as right now it's march 4th 1:15AM and I'm typing this message, i pray I'll never have to send it and that you reach out to me before i do. But if i end up sending it then just know i truly love you (whether you care or not). That being said and done, i guess I'll leave it at that and let things unfold" that was sent on March 6th 2017

She replied

"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to speak to you. I don't want to see you. I don't want you in my life. Please stop.
It's over. Please leave me alone."


I replied alright i guess this is goodbye.
She blocked me on Instagram before reading that message. Then blocked me on snapchat and twitter. However she didn't block me on Facebook (we're not friends thou, because i blocked/unblocked her)

I kept in touch with her sisters since the breakup, i was supposed to train her older sister (age 26) but she cancelled on me a bunch of times. (my ex is 21 & I'm 19 bout to be 20 june 26!). And i spoke with her younger sister (age 16) a couple times just about normal stuff. However 3 weeks after she blocked me on Snapchat (not Instagram).my ex then unfriended my mom from Facebook. I feel like if i just forget she ever existed she'll be back at somepoint becuase she's said herself I'm the best guy she's ever been with because I've always treated her right and she used to dealing with "hood niggas" but we broke up 3 months ago and I'm going through some daily emotional pain man. I do have a vlog channel on youtube to try and stay focused but i still love her and hopes she'll realise what she had sooner or later.


END EMAIL^

If you guys are still reading lol
At this point i'm no longer eager to be with her as I know it's not the best but I still see how it could work you know. I haven't spoken to her since. She just graduated university last week. I wanted to wish her congrats but didn't so it's been like 2 month NC since march. I did text her sister older sister thou last week (may 5th, the last time we spoke before that was march 6th) the day my ex told me she didn't want me in her life,I had met up with her 2 weeks post breakup and gave her a workout plan, she kept cancelling, but they days my ex told me not to contact and the day she said she doesn't want me in her life I told her older sister, she said damn dude, but from that point i just left it alone.)

So when i texted her sister, (MAY 5th) I said "Hey (her name) i see you making gains, keep up the good work, hope youre not baking up a storm!"

She replied saying

Thanks!!! I've been meal prepping for 3 weeks and I haven't baked at all lol. Im 10lbs down!

I responded saying

That's excellent! I dont have the discipline to meal prep so you beat me there but i have cut out all candy bars, makes me feel healthy

No reply

That I'm not worried about because it was still positive

Also, her family (her mom,her sister, the one i was supposed to train) still interacts with me and my mom on facebook and snapchat by commenting and liking posts and vice versa.

I was planning on texting her mom happy mothers day and leaving it at that, as we did talk in person after the breakup ( i ran into her in public) and we had a long conversation about stuff nothing about my ex and it went great.

But I'm conflicted with being myself and just sending it and not expecting anything in return but I also don't want them to take it any way. It could go either way and I shouldn't care but idk. I feel like I'm reading too much into it and you probably think I'm crazy typing this long ass post but truth is. I still love her even thou she was a dick, every SINGLE day she's on my mind, i still dream about her and her family and I don't see how after everything we've gone through you can do that to someone who you've said you've loved. I know we only dated for 2 and half months and other people have had it worse, but I just wanna know if we'll ever talk again some day yhkno and I do steps to move forward, my vlog channel, my fitness training, my acting etc, but this is like the worst. I have tunnel vision, every girl who's tried talking to me I have little or no interest in them, I'm self aware but idk...If you guys are still reading. I plan on continuing NC forever, hoping she'll come around one day, which is kinda freaking sad, because everyone around me gives me a hard time about bringing this up daily lol and THEY ALL TELL ME SHE DOESN'T DESERVE ME, and I know that too, but I think im not gonna wish them happy mothers day, I'll just leave em be and do me. As much as this FREAKING HURTS LIKE A BIIITCHHH! like damn. THanks for reading

How are you unable to see she does not want to be with you.

You have cross the line into obsession and should seek counseling or therapy. Maybe on your end this seems cheeky and normal..but on my end you seems stalkerish and desperate.

Leave this girl alone.
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Old 13th May 2017, 8:12 AM   #27
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You have absolutely no respect for boundaries. Get some counselling.

Last edited by BaileyB; 13th May 2017 at 8:16 AM..
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Old 13th May 2017, 12:41 PM   #28
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This is way past over. Keep hovering over her/her family and you are going to your obsession. This girl couldn't be any more clear about her about her lack of interest. There are no mixed signals anywhere in this story. She does not want you in her life. Time to move on.
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Old 13th May 2017, 12:50 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by springy View Post
This is way past over. Keep hovering over her/her family and you are going to your obsession. This girl couldn't be any more clear about her about her lack of interest. There are no mixed signals anywhere in this story. She does not want you in her life. Time to move on.
Yeah that's the main goal, it's just I've never been in this much emotional pain. Sounding like a bitch but it's not just this part of my life that was thrown out of wack, but there's a lot more going on. Like i feel damaged by this person. I'm on a freaking forum telling the whole world about my situation. Tf? Death would appear to be easier than this. But that's a not an option
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Old 13th May 2017, 12:56 PM   #30
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Holy @#$% man. I'm going to be real with you here.

This is over.

You NEED to move on from this man. You broke NC, which as you can see is never a good idea. What you did was push her further away - just like we warned you would happen. Contacting and chasing her is just going to make her lose more and more attraction to you, and KILL your chances more and more.

The constant contacting her, the long letter, confessing your love, staying in touch with her family. This is not only hardcore tanking your attraction to her, but it's bordering on reaching creepy/stalkerish territory, ESPECIALLY in her eyes. This is breaking NC to the max.

This is what you need to do, ASAP: STOP contacting her. For real - just go real, HARD NC. In fact, in your case I 100% suggest blocking the number and deleting it out of your phone - to force yourself to keep NC. Literally anything you could say to her will just make this worse. As for the mutual friends/family members - cut contact immediately. It's usually best after a breakup to also move on from them too. This isn't really healthy because it's preventing you from moving on and getting her out of your mind, and if it's getting back to her she might even see it as a pathetic attempt to stay in her life - ruining this even more. NC on the entire family.

And you have to actually move on during this NC period - so you need to try you. You have ACCEPT that the breakup is final, to move on. Reading your posts, I can clearly sense you are still convinced in your heart that she might come back to you, and that you two should be together... I know it's hard, but letting that go is the only way you are going to move on from this. This is true whether she comes back or not, it's the only way.

In this situation, you did a lot of damage already. If you contact her again, she's going to really despise you, if she doesn't already. This is NOT the note you want to leave a relationship on. Do not contact her!!! The ONLY way to do some much needed damage control right now is to go hard, strict, eternal NC.
And I appreciate this advice 100% No worries. I'll never be reaching out to her or her family ever again. I had a conversation with my bestfriend about the whole thing regarding wishing her mom happy mothers day and it stressed me tf out unnecessarily. Like I don't need that, so moving forward I'm doing me. I'll keep this thread updated when i move on etc
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