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I broke nc and got her back! (UPDATE: split up again)


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 10th January 2017, 1:54 AM   #1
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Cool I broke nc and got her back! (UPDATE: split up again)

Hey Guys, this is my story...well the long and short of it anyways. We were together for 2 months said I love you's, met the entire family, spent thanksgiving/christmas together etc. We RUSHED everything in the beginning and we'd see each other EVERYDAY.

What lead to the original break-up was a lack of space. I had so done so much research about how to react when your girl wants space and at first I was like NO because of the fear of her breaking up. Anyways she listened to me telling her we just needed to talk things out and continued to see each other everyday.

THIS LEAD TO CONFLICTS AND ARGUMENTS AND ANNOYNCES ON BOTH ENDS DAILY! SPACE IS NEEDED FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!

On christmas day (2 weeks after we almost broke up) we started arguing and that continued for maybe a day or 2 after. We continued to see each other daily and EVERYTHING I did annoying or not to her was a DEALBREAKER (not to forget to mention, she was on her period). We had dinner planned a couple nights after and everything was perfect until i was tryna snap a pic of her eating for snapchat and she got pissed and was like "can you stop?" I replied "i'm just trying to take a picture of you, *****" (Under my breath). That killed it, she was silent and didn't wanna talk to me, she drove that night and on the way home she said "I can't do this anymore" and my heart shattered. Regardless to say she dropped me off, I asked to her to come inside because the night doesn't have to end this way, and she did,we watched black mirror and then she left.

NOTE! THIS WAS THE DAY BEFORE NEW YEARS EVE. ( We had planned to go to my bosses NYE party)

She texted me on new years eve (12/31/16) saying "I've been thinking about things and I think it's best we just be friends, because I don't feel the same way I did"

I replied with "I understand, I'll see you around.I sincerely wish you a happy new year

She Replied

You Too

And thus began the NC.

I want you to notice I didn't agree to be friends (I'm 19, she's 21), that's a no no. YOULL NEVER GET HER BACK THROUGH THE FRIENDZONE. You have /to evaporate from her life completely to show her what she's missing. So all my friends say do NC and wait for her to apologize, saying she doesn't deserve me etc... and the main thing was this. After 5 days NC I reached out. Now, she texted me the day after she broke up with me, and the day after that,skip a day and she's texting again, once more and then I reached out. She had wanted to meet up but i didn't reply. But on day 5 I told her "I wanted to talk in person"

I told her if we're not gonna be together then I'm out of her life 100% and she started to cry saying she didnt wanna be in a relationship (she gave a bull**** reason) So we compromised to go back to the "talking stage" (I told her) ONLY IF IT'S LEADING BACK TO A RELATIONSHIP...Otherwise I'm out.

And so we hung out for 3 hours didn't see each other for a couple days and that brings me here. We hung out last night at her house and we watched a movie and cuddled etc and kissed etc. Everything was perfect. But one problem for me was that it wasn't official.

And tonight she told me to call her when I got off work. I tried going over to her house but we both have to be up early. There was a ton a great convo over the phone and then she asked how I'd been feeling about the whole situation and honestly I set my pride aside said screw what everyone else thought and what society thinks about males showing emotion or w/e and I told her how I loved her and I believe we rushed and if we slow down like how we did this past week this would be our fix,as well as addressing issues immediately and not making SERIOUS decisions in the heat of the moment, but instead giving it thought over a couple of days, then coming to a compromise or conclusion. And I basically told her I don't wanna be strung along and some other dude comes in the picture and she agreed with me, and after saying those things she agreed and a corky way of how i confirmed it was by saying "I'm glad I can call you my girlfriend again" HAHA she said "AWWWWWWWWWW" and then i told her goodnight

BUT this just goes to show you guys, depending on the girl, you CAN share your feelings!!!! You CAN tell her how you feel and not be judged. She CAN understand you and come to a mutual agreement. Its 1/9/17 and 10 days after the break up we're back together with a serious change in mindset. I do recommend doing NC for a bit though because NOT every girl is the same. But if you have a gut feeling guys, go for it. Because your friends on these forums/ friends in real life didn't experience what you have with your girl/ex. YOU DID! So keep that in mind guys.

I just felt like sharing. This is my first and maybe last post idk. I'm going tf to sleep
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Old 10th January 2017, 3:12 AM   #2
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Congratulations, I hope you have a long-lasting relationship with her.
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Old 10th January 2017, 3:22 AM   #3
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I think your speaking too soon. She already knows she has the power to dump you and get you back. I wouldnt call this a NC success story. Try a 2-3 year relationship and win her back in 2 weeks. Maybe you'll peak some interest.
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Old 10th January 2017, 8:36 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetfish View Post
I think your speaking too soon. She already knows she has the power to dump you and get you back. I wouldnt call this a NC success story. Try a 2-3 year relationship and win her back in 2 weeks. Maybe you'll peak some interest.
Sounds like you are STILL rushing everything.
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Old 10th January 2017, 8:58 AM   #5
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It sounds more like manipulation.
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Old 10th January 2017, 10:20 AM   #6
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You don't really love each other at only 2 months in. You don't even really know each other at this stage. There has already been way too much drama in this short relationship IMO.

Also sounds like she is really ambivalent about having a relationship with you as you have kind of had to threaten and insist to get her back on board. I wish you luck but this doesn't sound like a smashing success story to me.
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Old 10th January 2017, 12:10 PM   #7
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It all sounds rather immature in my opinion.
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Old 10th January 2017, 2:30 PM   #8
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I think breaking NC at 10 days, ad the dumpee, would be a risky move if this was a LTR, since that's not nearly enough time for emotions to settle and the parties to think clearly and reflect. But anyways, glad you got her back if that's what you wanted... but id keep your eye out... the "pre-breakup" break up is common and you are not in the clear yet. Be extra cautious and more distant/aloof the next few weeks or you run the risk of her changing her mind again. This is pretty classic. Give her lots of space imo
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Old 10th January 2017, 4:44 PM   #9
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You got some sceptical replies about it from others. I think that you can be sceptical with everything if you choose to. People talk from their own experience in life, but I think they might come to wrong conclusions when they ignore stories that don't fit their original prejudice.

If you said "she didn't want me" they would have replied: "We told you so". But when you tell us that it worked they say: "Wait, it still might not work", a phrase you can say about every relationship at any given moment.

I'm happy for you.
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Old 10th January 2017, 5:36 PM   #10
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The ages of the involved parties is a bigger indicator to me on the future of the relationship than the rest of the stuff.

Enjoy, OP, but don't be at all surprised when this sputters out in another couple of months.
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Old 10th January 2017, 6:07 PM   #11
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I'm pretty sure NC involves you not reaching out to them first. I think you're off to a decent start, but still have much to learn, grasshopper.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lolablue17 View Post
People talk from their own experience in life, but I think they might come to wrong conclusions when they ignore stories that don't fit their original prejudice. .
Nah dude, it's not like that. There are actually some very well thought out reconnection stories that involved use of NC on this forum. This just doesn't sound like one of them.
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Old 10th January 2017, 6:46 PM   #12
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"You have /to evaporate from her life completely to show her what she's missing."

Yeah but I think that would take more than just the 5 days of NC you did. You gave her some space and backed off. It probably really helped that you weren't being needy and didn't "beg" her to give you another shot.

You've also only been together for 2 months, so I wouldn't really call this a succesful NC story, more like recovering from a short break. But congrats that you got her back
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Old 29th January 2017, 5:24 PM   #13
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NC Questions & Snapchat

Update!

She broke up with me last week Sunday (Jan 22, I know what you guys will say lol) I've gone full NC, I blocked her, then unblocked her so we don't follow each other on anything. Around day 3 post breakup she texted me asking If i wanted back a vape I gave her, saying if not she'll sell it because she doesn't want it. I didn't reply. Now NC isn't the issue for me, but I'm reading a book which addresses how happy you wanna appear without them and want to look as though you've moved on. I wanna get her back. My bestfriend and I had a great time the other night at a skating rink, i posted on snapchat. She doesn't follow me anymore so she can't see it. I told him to post it on his insta since she still follows him. he's being a dick and doesn't wanna post it. So my question is???

Should i add her on Snapchat again just so she see's all the fun I'm having or do I do nothing and preferably wait for her to add me back? Like i don't wanna break NC by any means but she also wont see anything unless she follows me. Like I'm freaking conflicted. Because I know based on the first break up she'll reach out even quicker.... I feel like a dumbass mann, sheesh. Just young and dumb.

I now know the main reason for the break up was my neediness..and putting herself before me and I feel really bad about it. Like i know i got her back once, but now my brains trying to trick me and tell me why she would never get with me again. but i just need to calm down and focus on NC and then reaching out after a month if she doesn't reach out before then. The peak of her loneliness would be around week 3 or 4. but she still needs more time to disassociate my negative traits and more on my positive traits. I'm a freaking mess man, I can't believe this is the 3rd time i've been acting needy and then i swore i changed but my gosh guys. I just need to stick to my guns and do NC, keep pushing forward. and I won't add her/follow her on anything unless you guys give the okay. but I honestly think it's BEST if i don't just wanted your opinion

Last edited by teammagma; 29th January 2017 at 6:30 PM..
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Old 29th January 2017, 6:49 PM   #14
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This never really had a chance because not enough time went by and you didn't change. Getting back together for a second chance rarely works and never does if the problems haven't been fixed. Lasting change takes time. Try giving it about 6 months to a year of total NC and then see where you are at with your neediness. That is not going to be appealing to any woman.

Oh, and keep her off you social media and don't try to play games with showing you are all right and posting pics and such. That is extremely manipulative and immature.
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Old 29th January 2017, 8:15 PM   #15
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Not to be a dick, of course, but we all saw this coming (and so did you deep down inside). Forget all the crap you are talking about in regards to the "30 day rule", it doesn't work. If you reach out to her again you're toast, especially after breakup #2 (in a mere 3 month period, no less).

What you need to do is go NC FOREVER. If she comes back someday, fine, but you shouldnt ever reach out to her first... ever. IF she comes back, it probably wont be for at least 6 months, maybe even years, but its unreasonable to assume she would come back in a short period of time.

That's good though because reconciliations without lots of NC/time/distance between the parties rarely sticks. You have to literally change and grow as people for it to ever work... and that takes many, many months and years.

NC forever until, and IF, she comes back. Ignore breadcrumbs. Dont worry about if she sees your social media or not, you are trying to control the outcome and manipulate her into coming back... you sound like a control freak and those kinds of people are needy. You cant fix this problem by being more needy/controlling. You have to literally let go, move on and not give a f*** about what she is thinking or seeing if you want ANY chance.
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