what's this dude's deal?

[Atticus9292012]

I have a former love interest that is now just a friend. We have dated other people since and we both know this. We also have a lot of mutual friends. On Saturday I had a party at my house and I mass invited friends of ours, which he was included in. Even when i invited him I told him he could bring a date...and he said "oh I'll just bring a friend." I really didn't expect him to show up given our history and the fact that he supposedly is dating someone else (which he will neither confirm nor deny to me). Well, he did in fact show up with a buddy of his. His buddy leaves after only about an hour. My friend stays. He knew everyone at my house so not knowing anyone wouldn't explain this....but he literally followed me around my house like a lost puppy. A couple of times I went into my room and he'd follow me in there and shut the door behind him. I kept thinking he was going to initiate something, but he never did. I went into my bathroom once and I came out and he was on my bed. I asked him if he was okay (we'd been drinking) so I thought maybe he had a little too much. He said "no, just comfy." I walked out of my room back where the rest of my guests were. He stayed all night and was the last person to leave. The entire night he kept getting me drinks and offered to help me with whatever I needed. At one point we were sitting next to each other on my couch and he showed me pictures of a hiking trip he went on recently. He was showing me pictures of him and suddenly he'd get to a picture of a girl or him and a girl and he'd pull his phone close to him so I couldn't see. He also made a lengthy phone call outside. I asked who he went on the trip with and he said just a friend. I have always been attracted to this guy, but honestly I really just want to be his friend. I genuinely enjoy his company. I was recently invited to a birthday party of a mutual friend of ours in a town an hour away and considered asking him to go with me. I am just worried he is going to expect something or was expecting something to happen Saturday based on his behavior. Am I reading too much into this?

[leoc1973]

No you aren't reading too much into it. He was waiting for you to make a move. Obviously because of what you said about only wanting to be friends he is afraid to make a move himself.

 

I had a female friend years ago that kept telling me that she didn't wanna ruin our friendship but she was attracted to me. Finally when I met a new girl my friend was very jealous and even told me that she thought we would eventually be together. I ended up staying with the new girl and hardly ever talked to my friend again. So friendship ruined anyway.

 

My best relationship ever was with a really good female friend. That whole good friends make great lovers thing was really true for me.

 

You are attracted to him and you must like him as a person if you are friends with him so why not take it to the next level? If he ends up with a girlfriend she is probably going to discourage him from hanging with you anyway.

 

Oh and one thing to learn about guys... Guys don't cling onto you and sit around till the end just to be nice. I am almost positive he wants more. Just be careful because if he is being sneaky about having a girlfriend that is not cool.

[Atticus9292012]

A friend of mine that was there thought he was waiting for me to make a move....just by body language. I just am not sure if I am willing to go down that road again with him. There is undeniable chemistry there. I just don't like him not telling me about this girl if its serious. I'm not a cheater and won't partake in that.

[PegNosePete]

Duplicate thread of

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/493075-what-dude-s-deal

and

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/493084-what-s-dude-s-deal