Stone cold serial monogamists

[triple-s]

You date someone ... 6-9 months or more ---- they all of a sudden 180 on you out of the blue ... what i find really baffling is they TOOOOOOTALLY flip the switch and act like youre a second class citizen and you dont exist at all . Not only do they shov your feelings towards them in the gutter ---theyre off running off with their next plaything !!!

 

WHY ? how can someone you've trust, opened up to , gotten close to all of a sudden 180 on you and line another lover up --- total disregard of your feelings ?

 

I find that so insulting . Really the worst emotion ive felt as a human being is being replaced by someone else by someone you opened up to and trusted.

 

Is this an integrity issue ? im still trying to figure out how people can be so insensitive and INCONSIDERATE to other peoples feelings ....

[mightycpa]

So let me throw the question right back at you... what you would you expect them to do?

 

They go out with you. They give things the old college try, and they figure out that you're not the person for them. Or maybe they meet somebody else, and they feel that same spark that got them together with you in the first place.

 

That's what gets to you? The audacious idea that someone else might spark their interest? You think that they should be somehow immunized from feeling these things for someone else until ... when exactly? How does that work, exactly?

 

Or is it that you feel that spark or not, they should refrain from following their hearts, their interests until such time as you've gotten a chance to get used to the idea? How long is that? Why do they owe you that?

 

K-R, I want to give you another perspective. Life is short. Strike when opportunity knocks. Follow your heart. Once properly severed, a relationship is exactly that.... severed. You asked, so I'll answer. I think this answer is not integrity, it is selfishness on your part. Just about everybody would like to find the love of their life on their first time at the plate. And if not then, the second. But it doesn't work that way. It's a lot like finding a suit. You try one on for size, it feels like it fits, then you figure out it doesn't. So you try again, and again, and again and you don't really worry about the one that didn't fit. You worry about finding the one you want.

 

You want to be treated as if you're loved after you are no longer loved. You want sacrifices to be made for you in anticipation of no future with you. You don't want to face reality right away. You're all about kylo-ren, and feelings of the latest ex be damned. I'm sorry, but that's just selfish.

Edited February 15, 2016 by mightycpa

[FTM042014]

Kylo-ren, I'm right there with you my friend. These debates always make it very clear who's been on which side of the table by the replies. Of course people are free to love who they choose, feelings change, of course, of course, of course. But taking the time to cultivate a relationship, getting the person to trust you and let down their walls and pulling a 180 with very little warning is different. Following that up with the ability to transfer that same passion to a completely new person shortly thereafter is even more insane to me. How are you to ever trust the one you love if it is as you say, mightycpa? And I mean that honestly, how do you ever just relax and enjoy your relationship then? "Well I loved you last week but this week my feelings have changed and I must be with this person now!" Come on.

 

What's selfish is people who behave that way. The issue isn't that you are no longer loved, can't do much about that can we? The issue is how/why this type of person falls in and out of love so easily and more importantly the things they do/say to get what they want. These are toxic people that are never happy or satisfied and are trying to fill a void with another person instead of doing it for themselves. No one will ever be able to do that for them. YOU ARE NEVER SAFE FROM A 180 WITH THESE PEOPLE. STAY AWAY.

[central]

You don't just suddenly dump someone, unless they've done something that warrants treating them that way. IMO, kindness, respect, and compassion are how anyone should behave if they decide it's not going to work for them. It may be a sudden decision, but it's never okay to treat someone like a disposable tissue.

 

So, if someone treats you this way, you can know that they are a low class of human being and you are better off without them. It can still take time to get over such nasty treatment, but unless you've cheated on them, you deserve better.

[basil67]

This 6-9 months you were together for....What did it look like? Was it mostly happiness and easy communication? Or did the two of you have disagreements and different morals/ethics which were having trouble meshing together?

 

Thing is, one person's "out of the blue" breakup can be a "should have seen it coming" to another.

[Brando]

Feelings change. You will probably do the same thing to someone one day and then you will understand. It's really no big deal.....ya, it hurts, but thats how it goes and you can't control other people.

 

Just say thanks, bye, cya, it was fun while it lasted, good knowing you.

 

Then focus on you and find a better partner eventually.

[mightycpa]

Kylo-ren, I'm right there with you my friend. These debates always make it very clear who's been on which side of the table by the replies. Of course people are free to love who they choose, feelings change, of course, of course, of course. But taking the time to cultivate a relationship, getting the person to trust you and let down their walls and pulling a 180 with very little warning is different. Following that up with the ability to transfer that same passion to a completely new person shortly thereafter is even more insane to me. How are you to ever trust the one you love if it is as you say, mightycpa? And I mean that honestly, how do you ever just relax and enjoy your relationship then? "Well I loved you last week but this week my feelings have changed and I must be with this person now!" Come on.

 

What's selfish is people who behave that way. The issue isn't that you are no longer loved, can't do much about that can we? The issue is how/why this type of person falls in and out of love so easily and more importantly the things they do/say to get what they want. These are toxic people that are never happy or satisfied and are trying to fill a void with another person instead of doing it for themselves. No one will ever be able to do that for them. YOU ARE NEVER SAFE FROM A 180 WITH THESE PEOPLE. STAY AWAY.

When you open your heart, you take a risk. You say to stay away from these people, but how can you know who they are? Do you conduct an interview? Anybody who's dumped somebody is disqualified? Anybody who's already been in love is disqualified? Only discards need apply?

 

Here's the ugly truth. If you've been with someone like that, you've been tried and measured and found wanting. Everybody goes through that once or twice, it's just human nature to change, and we don't pay close attention our first few times at bat. But if you find this happening to you repeatedly, then you're missing something. You become the common denominator, especially if you see your exes settle down with someone else for the long haul.

 

Sometimes, the main thing that you take away from having been close to someone is what you don't want. Opening up to people is a risk, a huge one. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Be safe by being alone.

 

Your best bet is to man up, take on the challenge, and hope for the best. If someone doesn't want you, it's not personal, so don't take it that way. They weren't out to get you or to use you for something. They were looking for something, and you didn't have it. Don't settle for what a dog can provide. They'll love you for all your life, no matter who you are or what you do. That's great, if you want a dog. But if you want a human to do the same, then there has to be a very unique and special chemistry that has to occur. You're a fool if you think any two people can have that, or that it is easy to find.

 

It happens. It's a lot like baseball. A .400 batting average is huge. But that means you struck out more than you hit. Be thankful you're not getting strung along.

Edited February 15, 2016 by mightycpa

[FTM042014]

Feelings change. You will probably do the same thing to someone one day and then you will understand. It's really no big deal.....ya, it hurts, but thats how it goes and you can't control other people.

 

Just say thanks, bye, cya, it was fun while it lasted, good knowing you.

 

Then focus on you and find a better partner eventually.

If that's the case what are you looking for in the better partner? If it is so simple and matter of fact that feelings change and you move on no big deal, how do you not sit around expecting the plug to be pulled at any time? That's what I don't understand about this philosophy. Like what's the tipping point here? It all sounds like a neat way for people who continually do this to absolve themselves from any responsibility.

 

At want point is someone just kind of a dick for making a person think they're all in when they aren't and never were capable of delivering?

Edited February 15, 2016 by FTM042014

[FTM042014]

When you open your heart, you take a risk. You say to stay away from these people, but how can you know who they are? Do you conduct an interview? Anybody who's dumped somebody is disqualified? Anybody who's already been in love is disqualified? Only discards need apply?

 

Here's the ugly truth. If you've been with someone like that, you've been tried and measured and found wanting. Everybody goes through that once or twice, it's just human nature to change, and we don't pay close attention our first few times at bat. But if you find this happening to you repeatedly, then you're missing something. You become the common denominator, especially if you see your exes settle down with someone else for the long haul.

 

Sometimes, the main thing that you take away from having been close to someone is what you don't want. Opening up to people is a risk, a huge one. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Be safe by being alone.

 

Your best bet is to man up, take on the challenge, and hope for the best. If someone doesn't want you, it's not personal, so don't take it that way. They weren't out to get you or to use you for something. They were looking for something, and you didn't have it. Don't settle for what a dog can provide. They'll love you for all your life, no matter who you are or what you do. That's great, if you want a dog. But if you want a human to do the same, then there has to be a very unique and special chemistry that has to occur. You're a fool if you think any two people can have that, or that it is easy to find.

 

It happens. It's a lot like baseball. A .400 batting average is huge. But that means you struck out more than you hit. Be thankful you're not getting strung along.

 

Except there are people out there that use others. Because it gets them what they want in that moment. These are the kind of people I say stay away from and they generally have tells.

[Brando]

If that's the case what are you looking for in the better partner? If it is so simple and matter of fact that feelings change and you move on no big deal, how do you not sit around expecting the plug to be pulled at any time? That's what I don't understand about this philosophy. Like what's the tipping point here? It all sounds like a neat way for people who continually do this to absolve themselves from any responsibility.

 

I don't mean to make light of it. I know it's an awfully painful process. "Better" doesn't necessarily mean better....and by saying that I just mean that relationships are not always for life. People grow out of them. People move on or find someone new. People follow their heart. It sucks, but if people were not serial monogamist we would all be married to our high school sweetheart.

 

You have to love yourself. You are the only person who will ever love you for life. Do you 100% and then someone might pop up that adds to your life and you can build something together.

 

Serial monogamy is what humans do.

[FTM042014]

Well in my case she was all in on a Monday and dumped me coldly by that Thursday and I did not see it coming. So yea its not always so logical and neat and "oh well s**t happens!" There are people that lead you on and are extreme serial monogamers. So maybe you guys have it all figured out. Which is great but its not that easy and matter of fact.

[Brando]

Well in my case she was all in on a Monday and dumped me coldly by that Thursday and I did not see it coming. So yea its not always so logical and neat and "oh well s**t happens!" There are people that lead you on and are extreme serial monogamers. So maybe you guys have it all figured out. Which is great but its not that easy and matter of fact.

 

There are some hardcore serial monogamist people that just chase the honeymoon phase. I would bet that once you're further removed from you situation you will see they didn't blindside you as much as you feel. More likely they detached slowly and you just didn't see it.

 

I know how bad it hurts. But it really is "oh well s**t happens" because, honestly....what else can it be?

 

Be better or be bitter.

[mightycpa]

Well in my case she was all in on a Monday and dumped me coldly by that Thursday and I did not see it coming. So yea its not always so logical and neat and "oh well s**t happens!" There are people that lead you on and are extreme serial monogamers. So maybe you guys have it all figured out. Which is great but its not that easy and matter of fact.

I'm curious what you think she used you for. Are you rich beyond the wildest dreams of avarice? Do you have a tongue like Gene Simmons or are you hung like a Triple Crown champion? Do you have special access to people who can make your life easy, or did knowing you propel her on the way to some goal? What is it about you that could actually be used?

 

Chances are you're just a regular Joe with regular Joe things to offer, but I could be wrong.

 

Tell us. How were you used?

 

Don't be bitter. You got sucked in to something that happened too fast. If you'd have been thinking with your big head, you'd know a bottlerocket when you see one, and you'd know what happens when the fire runs out. Pop. Live and learn, but don't be bitter.

Edited February 15, 2016 by mightycpa

[triple-s]

So let me throw the question right back at you... what you would you expect them to do? They go out with you. They give things the old college try, and they figure out that you're not the person for them. Or maybe they meet somebody else, and they feel that same spark that got them together with you in the first place.

 

Let me rephrase my introduction from where it all began : Ive known this woman, who I may add WORK WITH, ... for around 7 years as friends.

One day she approaches me at work asking me if i wanted to go watch some game of thrones with her .. So i did . Turns out she just broke up with her ex ( WHO WAS IN THE OTHER ROOM ) ... she invites me to her place bro , WITH HER EX IN THE NEXT ROOM ...and she starts messing around with me ... I left and told her " hey this isnt right , if you wanna be with me, cant do that to your exbf " ... so 3 months later she gets him to move out of her condo , for those months she and i was together it was BLISS and DANDY . I thoiught things were great . I felt holy shh ... She seems genuinely into me, im into her ... imma take things slow so its not gonna push her away . ( i did EVERYTHING BY THE BOOKS so im not rushing nothing )

 

.. and a month afer she gets him to move out of her condo ; one month later .. OUT OF GODDAMN NOWHERE , she flips the script on me and turns out she was seeing this OTHER GUY AT WORK !!!!!!!!!! I found out because the last time we were together i looked at her phone and she'd been f----king , like SLEEPING with this other dude !!!

 

Mighty CPA ----- Are you catching my drift of frustration yet ?!?!?

 

That's what gets to you? The audacious idea that someone else might spark their interest? You think that they should be somehow immunized from feeling these things for someone else until ... when exactly? How does that work, exactly? Or is it that you feel that spark or not, they should refrain from following their hearts, their interests until such time as you've gotten a chance to get used to the idea? How long is that? Why do they owe you that?

 

What they owed me is the apology and explanation . You see man, Ive known her for 7 goddamn years . I trusted her . Our friendship was great. I felt when she approached me . oh .... ok ... well since i known her a long time she never showed any signs of deceit or negative qualities ... and bottom line was .. I WAS MINDING MY BUSINESS . It wasnt me who started this whole thing --- she lured me into getting involved with her. I was minding my business at work till one day. She literally comes up to me, puts her legs on top of mine ... " hey lets go chill, lets watch Game of thrones " ... soooOoOoOO ... fast forward 3months after that ; i got pretty close to her, and she pulls the plug and literally , she seems like she doesnt even know me , and treats me like im No one dude. THE GIRL WHO OPENED MYSELF UP TO , IS NOW A F_KIN STRANGER .

 

A strange who i face EVERYTIME IM AT WORK ---- really ? IM SELFISH ?!?!?!?!?

 

K-R, I want to give you another perspective. Life is short. Strike when opportunity knocks. Follow your heart. Once properly severed, a relationship is exactly that.... severed. You asked, so I'll answer. I think this answer is not integrity, it is selfishness on your part. Just about everybody would like to find the love of their life on their first time at the plate. And if not then, the second. But it doesn't work that way. It's a lot like finding a suit. You try one on for size, it feels like it fits, then you figure out it doesn't. So you try again, and again, and again and you don't really worry about the one that didn't fit. You worry about finding the one you want.

 

yep , i followed my heart and look where it got me . Remember, I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS . I didnt go come knocking on her door ... she got me involved with her and i followed my heart from that point on .

 

It was severed at the point where she started seeing this other guy behind my back . We would literally be out on dinner dates ; then id see her constantly texting another fella ...i asked and she said its no one ... until the day i saw her phone messages and that really severed the relationship.

 

Yeah does a f-king suit have any sort of human characteristics of having emotions , like empathy, integrity and VALUE . Dont compare me to an object buddy --- WRONG ANALOGY

 

You want to be treated as if you're loved after you are no longer loved. You want sacrifices to be made for you in anticipation of no future with you. You don't want to face reality right away. You're all about kylo-ren, and feelings of the latest ex be damned. I'm sorry, but that's just selfish.

.

 

Buddy, I am no longer loved . THAT IS A STRAIGHT UP FACT and I have to live with it .

 

Evertyhing was fine with our relationship but somewhere along the lines i still ****ed up that I was worth being cheated on ? Did she come to me and communicate if there was any sort of problem ? no she just UP and LEFT !

 

Point being for my post folks ... I wouldnt be this way if she had not got me involved . Yes I took the chance . I felt it was worth it . But really it was all a fakery and look what it led me to ... a hole i am STILL trying to dig myself out of . The fact that i have to see this woman at work is like a slap on the face to me .

 

Acceptance for the last 3 months has been my number one NC rule ...

 

MightyCPA ; Its been 3 months NC I've accepted the fact we are no longer together . She left and choose that other guy over me ... She chose to stay with him to this day ... and so be it ;

 

.... right now i am taking care of myself and healing ... and yes it is about Kylo-Ren because I sure aint putting her up in a pedestal again . What are you trying to say I should be focusing on ? I already told you that Ive gone NC and have been healing since

 

Dude ; Today is Valentines day and all Ive been seeing allover the place is how everyone is celebrating the day with their significant other -- reminding me of the last person who had the keys to my heart . Just like every normal human being out there ; we trust our gut , our heart . And right now im feeling a bit upset and angry yes because whenever i think of my ex ... My thoughts linger back to the questions of where did i go wrong with her ? Im sure there are other ppl out there who have experienced the same thing which is why im sharing my thoughts today :

 

I admit, i miss her and the things we did share together ... dont think i could just snap my finger and she'd magically re-appear ... because the reality is ... shes gone.

 

and MightyCPA ... that's SELFISH of me ? I dont think so buddy.

[triple-s]

Of course people are free to love who they choose, feelings change, of course, of course, of course. But taking the time to cultivate a relationship, getting the person to trust you and let down their walls and pulling a 180 with very little warning is different. Well I loved you last week but this week my feelings have changed and I must be with this person now!" Come on. "

 

--- THANK YOU . this is EXACTLY what im talking about . I opened up and shared my world, secrets and ME to this woman ... a woman ive known at work for 7 years. She even told me that ' she runs away whenever she gets too close to someone ; its a fault of hers ' --- like cmon really ???? so why not just tell me in the beginning you wanna be friends with benefits or something . Messing with ppl's emotions is a whole new level of being a JERK ... in this case thats what she did .

 

I aint no narcisssist but I KNOW when my gut feelings tells me something is not right . What shes done to me is one of the strangest things ive ever encountered.

 

What's selfish is people who behave that way.

 

That MightyCPA guy seems to think IM SELFISH ? really !?!?!?!? i dont think so ... its HER thats selfish.

 

She even had the nerve to tell me " i wanna still be friends "

 

WHAT !? how can you be friends with someone who literally fell in love with you and you expect me to just shove my feelings under the rug like nothing happened.

 

Dude i know you understand the way im feeling right now but i just feel like this type of woman is some stone cold serial monogamist because how can feelings get involved without some sort of sense of attachment .

 

Put it this way ; if the tables were turned and SHE WAS ME ... Me being in her shoes running off with another woman . dude, id be thinking wow im gonna be breaking this girls heart if i do that ..... ok i dont wanna be with her anymore but she deserves an explanation of why i have to stop this relationship .... CORRECT ?!?!??

 

Naw man . For her . f--- it . Imma just jump in bed with this other dude and f--- kylo-ren . Dont care about how HE FEELS ....

 

 

The issue is how/why this type of person falls in and out of love so easily and more importantly the things they do/say to get what they want. These are toxic people that are never happy or satisfied and are trying to fill a void with another person instead of doing it for themselves.

 

This is why im a bit flavoured about the topic of the day being valentines day. Had this woman not gotten involved with me ( read the post above i wrote back to MightyCPA ) . In the very beginning i was minding my own business bro ; i never asked her to be with me . She lured me into getting me involved with her ( i think she used me to break off her relationship with her now EX bf ) ... and once she got him out of her place ... she already lined up someone for me . Had i known that was her pattern then i wouldnt have gotten my feelings involved. I told her my feelings are gonna get involved. Why didnt she stop me .

 

 

 

No one will ever be able to do that for them. YOU ARE NEVER SAFE FROM A 180 WITH THESE PEOPLE. STAY AWAY.

 

Yup . Theres absolutely nothing i can do about it . All im working on is to be healing, working on myself .

 

Mighty CPA thinks im selfish because its all about me . Don't think he understands it the way me and you have gone thru it

[triple-s]

You don't just suddenly dump someone, unless they've done something that warrants treating them that way. IMO, kindness, respect, and compassion are how anyone should behave if they decide it's not going to work for them. It may be a sudden decision, but it's never okay to treat someone like a disposable tissue.

 

Yup . I was more of a disposable tissue in this matter .

 

Lets flip the script here for a second . Im HER . Shes ME . I dump her ... but before i do ; id think of the implications of HOW thats gonna mess with her emotions and her head ...

 

" if i dump her , shes gonna be heartbroken , upset and literally ruin her world " .... THIS IS MY WAY OF THINKING

 

but ...

 

" Kylo-Ren , meh ... " .... THis was HER WAY OF THINKING , Total disregard for anything and everything

 

... She never even once approached me on working anything out or if there was anything wrong with what we were going through . I asked her so many times if there was anything wrong she was just a cold fish staring into the empty ceiling or void.

 

After sex, she wouldnt even cuddle ... Id hold her hand and she'd pull away.

 

CLEAR SIGNS her interest is dropping to reasons I will never find out

 

 

So, if someone treats you this way, you can know that they are a low class of human being and you are better off without them. It can still take time to get over such nasty treatment, but unless you've cheated on them, you deserve better.

 

I have NEVER and will NEVER cheat on someone who gives me their heart . She gave me her heart ( so i thought ) ... and i felt there was a connection. She didnt see that I gave mine to hers . she cheated on me with another dude from work .

 

I tried my best and couldnt win her back =\

[triple-s]

This 6-9 months you were together for....What did it look like? Was it mostly happiness and easy communication? Or did the two of you have disagreements and different morals/ethics which were having trouble meshing together?

 

Thing is, one person's "out of the blue" breakup can be a "should have seen it coming" to another.

 

First three months ( honeymoon phase ) was great ! Communication was good . no bickering whatsoever ...

 

Middleway i started noticing small irks . Like she'd get angry at me for washing her dishes ?????? or one time she crapped on me cuz her i threw out her half empty Orange Juice that was just sitting there .

 

Near the end ... she was a cold fish ... id ask her whats wrong shed just stare into the void. After sex she wouldnt cuddle. Id hold her hands and she would just pull away ... and turns out she was hiding the fact that she was lining someone up ( another co worker ) behind my back while i was with her . I caught her when i saw messages they sent back and forth - turns out she was already sleeping with him

 

Communication seems to be one sided id say midway point onward . If something bothered me id mention it . Id even tell her to voice out if i did something that pissed her off ...

[triple-s]

Feelings change. You will probably do the same thing to someone one day and then you will understand. It's really no big deal.....ya, it hurts, but thats how it goes and you can't control other people.

 

Just say thanks, bye, cya, it was fun while it lasted, good knowing you.

 

Then focus on you and find a better partner eventually.

 

 

Right . I learned alot from this ordeal and these life situations can really alter someones way of thinking . I dont think i could put anyone in the same situation she did to me but ill definitely be out on the lookout for such situations that ill know better than to put my heart on the line !

 

Im focusing on me now yes ( apparently im SELFISH for doing that cuz of what MightyCPA says ) ... whatever . im in NC for 3months now .... trouble is , i work with this woman

[FTM042014]

Hang in there buddy! She's not a good person. And you nailed it with the idea of if you did the same to her you'd be laboring over having to hurt her. Not that you'd stick around and be unhappy but it wouldn't be so much of a clean break. I feel the same way. Some people are selfish. They just are. Keep being a good guy and a woman that respects that and is mature enough will come by.

[DarkHorizon]

im in NC for 3months now .... trouble is , i work with this woman

 

Note to self... don't date a co-worker.

[elaine567]

Communication seems to be one sided id say midway point onward . If something bothered me id mention it . Id even tell her to voice out if i did something that pissed her off ...

 

That is when you should have got out, one sided relationships do not work, no matter how much you may want them to

[candie13]

buddy - past behavior predicts future behavior. the way she treated her ex bf was beyond sh*tty, the way she treated you is beyond sh*tty and there are high chances that the way she will treat the current soup of the day will be sh*tty.

 

So... just watch the signs. If your partner has just been out of a significant RS and is single for less than 6 months, do NOT date them. Actually, if they have not had a rebound after their last significant RS, do not date them. Been there, done that.

 

It's hard, but try your best to see the women you date holistically. Not just how they treat you, but how they treat people around you, including their ex. How reliable they are. IF they follow up on their words. And take it slow, no fireworks, because after an earth shattering beginning, it can only go worse and you'll be bitter and disappointed, instead of it moving slowly ahead and building up.

 

I understand why you're jaded. I think being or feeling replaced only amplifies your sensation of rejection. But you see, if they turn stone cold towards you, irrelevant if they have someone new or not, they were never there emotionally. They completely shut you out. There was no genuine connection, no real intimacy, your souls never really clicked together, you understand what I mean?

 

So... there's no point in crying or feeling sad. You can only learn from this and try to open yourself more and look more attentively at your partner and be as honest as you can with regard to how close you feel from your partner and how close they feel towards you.

 

I've dated a serial monogamist for 6 months. MY intuition was telling me he was more rational than me... So time passed by and little by little, small things were starting to show me his real side, not just the reliable dedicated guy, but also the rational and slightly insensitive, self preoccupied self. I think most people feel that their break up came out of the blue. In my case, we had purchased flight tickets to go on out first holiday together, we were supposed to book the hotel the weekend. We had a huuuuge fight during the middle of the week and I've vanished. Left. Disappeared. You know what I got? "thank you for all the time and effort invested in us" . Amazing, ain't it?

 

Looking back, I realized he wasn't really seeing me, the woman who liked to have morning sex better than evening sex, who secretly enjoyed watching Sponge Bob and The Big Bang Theory, but he really appreciated that I had a great education, good job and slightly outearning him. Good on paper . NEver again.

 

I am never again settling with good on paper. I want a genuine connection. An authentic man. then, I dunno, sh*t can happen everyday, they may meet the love of their life while shopping for flowers for me, I mean there is a part of risk that is out of our hands. I just want to do whatever is related to me and my responsibilities well. Look for a good guy. Decent person. Open to love. Loving me.

 

OP, you know your ex didn't love you. I know my ex shrug his shoulders and said "thank you". It's not my definition of love. I will be forever grateful to God for that huge raw that we've had because it allowed me to see he was stone cold towards me and I've only wasted 6 months and not 8 or 9 or 12. Best thing that ever happened to me.

 

I am sure one year from now you'll feel the same way.

 

Big hug, hang in there !

[DarkHorizon]

It's hard, but try your best to see the women you date holistically. Not just how they treat you, but how they treat people around you, including their ex.

 

Excellent point. My ex was, for about three years and a half, so kind to me... but treated others like sh**t. Aggressive, road rage all the time, always negative. Never opened her mouth to say a single positive about anyone but me.

 

Guess what, during the last six months, she moved me to the "other" group.

[candie13]

Past behavior predicts quite accurately future behavior, unfortunately. We all want to be the exception, that amazing person being "different" and managing to change them into bigger and better person... well, most people are really fine with the way they are, hahaha.

 

So if you don't like how the person you are dating is or how they behave or act with those around, with their close friends, family members or work colleagues, stop seeing them, because people never change. They don't deserve someone who wants them to change and you don't deserve someone who needs slight improvement.

[BeFierce]

 

Middleway i started noticing small irks . Like she'd get angry at me for washing her dishes ?????? or one time she crapped on me cuz her i threw out her half empty Orange Juice that was just sitting there .

 

 

We have a mini idiom/parable/ whatever they call it for this type of action in my country lol. A sheep was minding his own business and was playing with a small pebble around on top of a hill, the wolf living down below, came up to him and said. "HEY WILL YOU STOP SCRATCHING THAT PEBBLE, YOU ARE MAKING MY ENTIRE HOME DUSTY!!!"

 

So the sheep looks at the wolf and says." OH SHUT UP WITH YOUR EXCUSES, YOU JUST WANT TO EAT ME."

 

 

So just like the wolf was trying to cause trouble out of nothing your ex was doing the same thing, because she knew what she was planning.

 

And honestly it's better that this garbage is out of your life. If someone really cared then they would have a civil conversation about how they don't feel that this relationship is just not for them anymore. But instead many times, you will find that even the most intelligent individual chooses the ghetto way to get out of the relationship. I view these peoples are cowards and not worth the time of day.