Gus Grimly Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It's been 2 months since the BU and a month and a half since our last contact. Today, I received a box with all my high-quality posters/lithographs I left at her house. There wasn't a letter or anything just the posters. In the past 3 weeks I've made great progress in the "getting over her" department, but now she's forced me to think about her and it's caused me to feel apoplectic. I'm seeing this as a breadcrumb. Is that all it is, nothing more? Or is she just being a decent human being for once? If so why not send the stuff sooner than later? Also, is my anger justified? I want nothing to do with her EVER again, getting this package felt like she was F***ing with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Gus, she's not effing with you; she's just returning your stuff, in an effort to do the right thing. It's not even a breadcrumb. If she wanted to eff with you, she would have written you a well-meaning but empty note. Don't analyze this. It means nothing. Move forward, don't give it the time of day. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
Christos Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It's nothing. She just returned your staff. That's all. Don't analyze it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I thi k she's just trying to get your stuff back to you and by posting it you don't have to see each other 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Karen855 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 It's been 2 months since the BU and a month and a half since our last contact. Today, I received a box with all my high-quality posters/lithographs I left at her house. There wasn't a letter or anything just the posters. In the past 3 weeks I've made great progress in the "getting over her" department, but now she's forced me to think about her and it's caused me to feel apoplectic. I'm seeing this as a breadcrumb. Is that all it is, nothing more? Or is she just being a decent human being for once? If so why not send the stuff sooner than later? Also, is my anger justified? I want nothing to do with her EVER again, getting this package felt like she was F***ing with me. I think she is agreeing the relationship is over now and she is moving on as well as you. By sending it back now, she is confirming the break up as done and accepted. I understand you feeling angry, maybe like a kick in the face.... Just be glad that all the badness is starting to become the past... You will start to feel so much stronger in the coming days 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 One thing I forgot to mention was that I told her to keep the posters and didn't need to send them back during the initial breakup discussion. Gus, she's not effing with you; she's just returning your stuff, in an effort to do the right thing. It's not even a breadcrumb. If she wanted to eff with you, she would have written you a well-meaning but empty note. Don't analyze this. It means nothing. Move forward, don't give it the time of day. You're probably right Dude. There would have been a note or something. The breakup is still too new and I guess I'm not fully over it. I thought the fact she took the time to send them had some ulterior motive attached to it. Glad I came here to vent about it. I'm irked, but I must not waste any energy thinking about it. Gotta stay on course. Thank guys. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 I think she is agreeing the relationship is over now and she is moving on as well as you. By sending it back now, she is confirming the break up as done and accepted. I understand you feeling angry, maybe like a kick in the face.... Just be glad that all the badness is starting to become the past... You will start to feel so much stronger in the coming days Hmm, never would have thought of it that way. Wow, that's a very mature way of looking at it. Thank you Karen for your input. I suppose this is her way of getting total closure, ridding herself of me by way of removing any remaining thing that reminds her of me, but without malice or hurtful intent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 They always know how to creep back just when you are starting to feeling better I probably wouldn't look to deep into it. Maybe she felt guilty throwing it out so just decided to do the right thing and give you your stuff back. No reason to contact her and thank her, or keep it going, which I know you wont =) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I probably wouldn't look to deep into it. Maybe she felt guilty throwing it out so just decided to do the right thing and give you your stuff back. No reason to contact her and thank her, or keep it going, which I know you wont =) Yeah, you're right. Guess I was surprised to hear from her at all. I'm not responding, it's the last thing I would do. Thank her? Puleeeze! I suppose I'm not completely over her as much as I thought I was. I know she's moved on, has a new boyfriend and all that. Earlier in the day I even thought of her and said to myself "You know what? I'm not so mad at her anymore". Getting the package set me off and thought to myself; "Whaaaat ever! Go to Hell!!". I know her intent was not to disturb the bees nest, but it felt that way because I reacted that way. It didn't mean anything and most likely is her way of finding closure, as Karen suggested. Still, it was a tiny pin-prick. Link to post Share on other sites
10yearsgoneaway Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Its amazing how we look at every little detail they do. I stopped my mail forwarding from the house since I changed my address officially everywhere. But some things were over looked or not common. Normally my ex just sends my mail to my po box. When I went full NC after telling him I no longer loved him and moved on, one week passed and I got a text saying what mail I got and if I wanted it sent. Forcing me to break NC because it was important mail and he knew that. He could have just sent like all the times before. But they do pop up at the worst times. Hang in there, expect more unexpected. and do the best you can when faced with it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Hi there, Gus. You seem to be a great guy, and you're one of the best at commenting in here. So I just want to tell you that I hope you get through this. Just don't overthink. Maybe her timing was wrong (for giving back your stuff up until now). But, the thing is: it was already over. You deserve better! I say it in all honesty. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Yeah, you're right. Guess I was surprised to hear from her at all. I'm not responding, it's the last thing I would do. Thank her? Puleeeze! I suppose I'm not completely over her as much as I thought I was. I know she's moved on, has a new boyfriend and all that. Earlier in the day I even thought of her and said to myself "You know what? I'm not so mad at her anymore". Getting the package set me off and thought to myself; "Whaaaat ever! Go to Hell!!". I know her intent was not to disturb the bees nest, but it felt that way because I reacted that way. It didn't mean anything and most likely is her way of finding closure, as Karen suggested. Still, it was a tiny pin-prick. If any of us were completely over them we wouldn't even be on here talking about how much we don't care about them hahah One day! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
catlady11 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I just want to say I'm sorry this happened. Maybe having your things was too painful for her? Made her feel too guilty? I don't know if that helps or not Stay strong and move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Hi there, Gus. You seem to be a great guy, and you're one of the best at commenting in here. So I just want to tell you that I hope you get through this. Just don't overthink. Maybe her timing was wrong (for giving back your stuff up until now). But, the thing is: it was already over. You deserve better! I say it in all honesty. Take care. Thank you for that Mondmellonw!! Very kind of you to say. :) You all are correct, it's the same advice I'd probably have given myself. Don't worry, I'm doing fine. It was just a stutter step in an otherwise great run to a new life without her in it. Just want to give a big THANK YOU to everyone and all your support. Without you I probably wouldn't have made it this far so quickly. That's all I needed, I do feel better now and I'm no longer perturbed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Sounds like she just wanted to give your stuff back. Whether you told her to keep it or not... If there was some note, message or text with it, it might be a different situation, but it doesn't sound like that is the case. Put it away for now until you can handle having in sight. Then when that day comes, put up the posters and be glad you got them back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 If it's just posters and nothing more, then she's just concluding business. If she returned the posters and left a letter, then it's a breadcrumb. Don't let this set you back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
realmly Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 It's been 2 months since the BU and a month and a half since our last contact. Today, I received a box with all my high-quality posters/lithographs I left at her house. There wasn't a letter or anything just the posters. In the past 3 weeks I've made great progress in the "getting over her" department, but now she's forced me to think about her and it's caused me to feel apoplectic. I'm seeing this as a breadcrumb. Is that all it is, nothing more? Or is she just being a decent human being for once? If so why not send the stuff sooner than later? Also, is my anger justified? I want nothing to do with her EVER again, getting this package felt like she was F***ing with me. I totally get how you feel because my ex did something similar, and it totally threw me off. He returned all MY gifts back to me, which I felt was like spitting back in my face. But because she returned YOUR things back to you, I would probably take it a little differently. Maybe she just wanted to give you back your things instead of trashing them, because they were YOURS. What does bother me, however, is when people do the complete opposite of what you tell them. I.e you told her you didn't want them back, but she still gave them to you. Likewise, I clearly told my ex how I thought returning gifts after a break-up was a horrible idea, and how much it would hurt me - and he did exactly that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MINDSHIFT Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 My ex still wont send my items that i asked for what a bitch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) Just over 2 days post breakup for me. The separation was civil, and we even mentioned returning items. I couldn't sleep the night of the split, so sent an email asking to exchange belongings next weekend to get it over with so I can move on. He hasn't replied. If he tries to return anything 2 months from now, I'll be quite upset. There's no need to wait that long. Sorry this happened to you. Try not to look too much into it because you will never know exactly why she did it. Be glad to have your items back and keep moving forward. Edited September 7, 2015 by ScienceGal 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 Be glad to have your items back and keep moving forward. Well the one thing folks in this thread don't know about my situation is that my Ex has a LOT of my stuff. Thousands of dollars of things I left at her home (because she was using them at the time). She didn't send any of those things back, just those posters I didn't want anyway. Thank you ScienceGal, I am moving on, literally. In a month I'm moving 1700 miles away to Portland Oregon to start a new life. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 In a month I'm moving 1700 miles away to Portland Oregon to start a new life. I did this exact thing in March of 2014. Granted, it was only 500 miles, but it was the best move I ever made. This is a good place to start anew... Especially if you like beer. LOL!!!!! God speed!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gus Grimly Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I did this exact thing in March of 2014. Granted, it was only 500 miles, but it was the best move I ever made. This is a good place to start anew... Especially if you like beer. LOL!!!!! God speed!!!!!! That is such great news mtnbiker. I really think it will be the last big step in closing this chapter of my life and beginning with a clean slate. I really need the change and I think I'll fit in better with the people there. I'm a very artistic and musically inclined person. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Gus, I think I told you I near Portland. We will certainly meet up! I'd be glad to help you move in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) I'm a very artistic and musically inclined person. Not sure if it's good or bad, but this area is a 'mecca' for artists and musicians!! Please... just don't don't wear flannel, skinny jeans, black rimmed glasses, a scarf, and have a bushy beard or a handle-bar mustache with a defined part in your finely combed hair. LOL!!!! hipster | Domain Roast I find I fit in the other group here in the Northwest. Shaved-head (nature said so...), T-shirt, shorts, flip-flops and a constant desire to drink beer, river-raft and mountain bike!! http://f9view.com/mountain-bike-pictures-wallpapers/mountain-bike-images-wallpapers http://www.wildnatureimages.com/Snake-River-Rafting-Photos.htm Edited September 7, 2015 by mtnbiker3000 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) I knew she must have more of your stuff! I didn't want to guess just in case she didn't. What a crap (my original word was censored, haha) move on her part returning just a small portion! Won't it be nice when she doesn't have your address? I am so glad to hear that you are moving. After my last horrific breakup, I just moved to a new apartment (we didn't even live together) and that helped. Space, literally, does heal. The Portland area will provide you with so many new opportunities. It will be a true breath of fresh air. Edited September 7, 2015 by ScienceGal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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