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Consolidated discussion: The No Contact Guide and No Contact process and experience


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 12th September 2017, 4:14 AM   #331
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I am 6 months and a week of NC from almost a 6 year relationship. 3 years lived together and were engaged. He left me 3 months before our scheduled wedding day because his prents did not approve of me and threatened to disown him and said they weren't coming to the wedding.

NC has helped me, it has made me stronger. I am still healing but if I had responded ro any of the breadcrumbs idk where I would be. Probably not where I am at now. I don't cry often and if I start tearing up I stop myself.

To anyone out there the best advice I can give you is the same advice I give myself:

IF YOUR EX CAN BE WITHOUT YOU, YOU CAN BE WITHOUT THEM. IF YOUR EX LEFT YOU THEN THEY OBVIOUSLY DID NOT LOVE OR VALUE YOU ENOUGH. ACCEPT IT AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. WHAT IS MEANT FOR YOU WILL COME TO YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE IT NOW.

The hurt will fade, but if someone hurt you so bad do you really think you could ever get passed how that person treated you and left you?

I don't think so. It all of course depends on the situation. I suffered the worst pain of my life, I thought I couldn't live anymore, I had no purpose, he was my life. BUT I PUSHED THROUGH THE WORST AND SLOWLY SEE THE LIGHT.

Peace and healing to all of you.
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Old 15th September 2017, 5:17 AM   #332
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6 days

Gonna be 4 weeks since the break up day. I did not beg or anything. She contact me few times asking me how am i doing. She wanted to be friends when she broke up with me but well i was not ready for it yet said sure lets be friends. Next 2.5 weeks she contacted me 2 times. Last contact i told her we can't be friends because i still love her. She understood it and said i love you too. I got crazy and said lets talk. She said "things would not work out". I was so scared to get more hurt so i said we can't be friends right now. Maybe in future. We both cried a lot. 2 days later i could not handle it at wrote her again. "We can solve it". She said "Everyday something new happens and it drains my energy. I don't wanna go back to last two weeks of our relationship." I said "it would be new we would talk through stuff".

As you can guess did not work out.

Now it's been 6 days. I did not check any of her social media stuff. I can't. Days go better. I still cry once a day. It hurts a lot.

I know i did everything i can do. Just it was not right time. We could not solve our problems.

I still have some hope left i hope it will go away in time.

Tired so tired. Had some suicidal thoughts but i can't upset people around me. I don't have that right also life is good you know. I don't feel it right now how good life can be but someday i'm sure i will feel, we all will feel.

Life is going on. We can't dwell in past.
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Old 14th October 2017, 3:11 AM   #333
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We are 2 years after the "final talk" which was more of a listing of all my faults trough SMS after a lenghty 3 months period of being cheated on, lied to, and made a fool of.

She couldn't decide wether to leave the comfort of my beta love for an alpha dude as the right solution, and dated the other behind my back while using me.

I asked her to never contact me again, and that i didnt want to "be friends" (which for that girl basically meant you'll be a sex-friend inbetween serious relationships).

For 2 years she stayed true to my demand (most likely, she was happy in her new relationship and didn't care). I blocked her on facebook, removed her phone number, hid all memorabilia of our relationship in a box, and slowly tried to rebuild a sense of self.

And for my recent birthday she sent the apology message. The one to relieve her of the residual guilt she felt from cheating and lying to me. Of course it was nothing more, it was not an offer to meet, it was not regret over our relationship, it was just a catharsis for her own peace of mind.

Somehow even tho i'm over the fact that i dont want to be with her, it still hurts, i really loved her, more than the girls i dated inbetween, more than many girls i dated before.

She was that manic pixie dream girl from the movies, the chicks who was half crazy, half very smart, the girl you wanted as a friend, and a lover.

But in all that manic stuff, there is also a dark side, those girls get easily bored, they need adrenaline shots and butterflies very often , or they go.

So, i didn't answer, and it gave me some power to simply not care about answering, altho i truely only wanted to do what i've done in the past : have some chitchat, maybe a few nights of steamy sex, and then a real goodbye. It was strange, half of me was like "meh, what's the point in talking with that person?" and the other was more like "i miss her".

But not with that one, she dug very deep inside me, and talking to her is dangerous for my peace of mind.
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Last edited by Alamo657; 14th October 2017 at 3:14 AM..
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