Met ex for the first time in 7 months

[Breadimus]

Today I ran into JW. It was an experience that I am glad to have had. As it has enabled me to properly understand where I am in my healing and has truly removed her from the pedestal I had her on during the early stages of my break up.

 

I wish to share this with you as for the majority of you your break up is raw. Light doesn't exist in your tunnel and all you can think of is reuniting with your former partner.

 

I harbour no wish for that to happen and I am as indifferent of the JW I met today as I was to any other attractive woman. In other words she was but a face amongst a myriad of others.

 

I harboured no resentment or anger. Only respect, empathy and consideration and though we had hurt each other I could tell we both accepted what is and are happier for it.

 

Back story.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/465631-life-like-hourglass

 

 

 

I was travelling on her train line. I had gone to see my aunt. I had decided on a whim to see her and had spent lunch with her in a part of Melbourne I never go to. On the way home I approached her stop. For some strange reason I knew she would be at the station waiting to get on. I don't know why, as it was Tuesday afternoon and we both could have been in any number of places, but I knew. Trains in Melbourne are long and I sit at the front always. My carriage was one of ten and there she was.

 

Dressed in stylish black and as attractive as ever. Not much was different to her than the JW I had loved. In fact she appeared closer

to the JW I fell in love with than the one who left me.

She didn't see me. She walked he other way and sat with her back towards me. I approached because it was the right thing to do. I had loved this person and she me. We both had respected each other but had gone our seperate ways. I wanted to see how she was and had no expectations of the conversation.

 

It was like two old friends seeing each other for a while. Though both understood the reasons why and had no wish to properly reacquaint. We talked for. 45 minutes and she found out I worked for the uni she postgrads at. In the same building in fact. We didn't big not each other and were honest, as honest as you would be with any lost friend. It was nice. We did not talk about us, just shared the details of our own lives.

 

Yet I did not care truly. In fact I didn't really know his JW and was not attached. Nor did it cast any new light on what happened. She was beautiful but I was not attracted. She was intelligent, funny. witty and the same self effacing woman I had loved, but I was a tad bored.

 

We parted. No words of catching up. I left to go to the movies on my day off. Her to hand in a research question. Everything I thought I needed in the first months of loneliness, gone and insignificant.

 

It was magnificent until it was not. It ended becaus it needed to and both of us are better for it. No need to be friends. As goyte says 'now your just somebody that I used to know.'

 

You must no contact, you must heal, you must grieve and you must grow.

Do not continue to want to be together, just rejoice at the time you had.

 

Rambling over. Good luck to all.

[Always Pondering]

Your ending sounds like a bittersweet one but if you think about it, it doesn't sound uncommon and is probably one of the best endings you can get. I read your back story and it's incredible how your feelings from seeing her (or someone like her) has shifted from your heart practically stopping, to complete indifference.

 

I wish I will have the same ending as you but at the same time I don't, if that makes sense. I'm glad that no contact has helped you get to where you are however and that you have healed. Best of wishes to you, your career, and your future love life, breadimus!