Is she on a rebound?

[Maverick89]

Hello, just wanted to know what you guys think about this. I have a thread where I explain my BU with details, here is the link in case you're interested.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/464609-gf-5-years-called-quits

 

Anyways, here is the short version. I'm 24 and my ex is 22. We were each others first love, we were together for 5 and a half years and the last 6 months of the relationship, we were on long distance because I moved to a new country with plans of starting a new life and waiting for her to graduate.

 

The BU came out of nowhere (early October), I was torn, feeling depressed, I tried everything to get her back but she had her mind set to it. After a couple of days I found out that she was with another guy, that's 10 years older than her, and she met him at her new job as an intern. It only took her 2 weeks in this new job where she met this guy, to decide to break up with me. At the beginning of the BU, I told her to take care of this guy, she told me she knew he was the "player" of the office, and that he only wanted to get in her pants so I didn't need to worry (She told me repeatedly that she wasn't dating another man), but only 2 months after the BU she takes this guy to her cousin's wedding (which I was invited first of course).

 

I want to know, if they exchange you for another guy, is it a Rebound? does she have a future with this guy? I think she had GIGS, we had such a long relationship at such an early age, so I have now understood it could've even happened to me. But since I'm the dumpee, I've been suffering a lot more.

 

I just can't believe she changed me for another man, that quickly, when we had a very special relationship. The long distance part was really "ridiculous", the most time we spent apart were 3 weeks, I spent all of my money for flight trips for her visiting me or me going to her. Anyways, just wanted to know since people tell me, that 2 months is quite a long time so you can date again, other people tell me she didn't "mourn" the relationship and that she didn't have any respect for it.

 

I still think about her, but I feel better now. We've been NC since November and I no longer stalk her on Facebook or Instagram since I saw her with this new guy at the wedding, although a friend told me that she put a photo on Instagram with this new guy 1 month ago (only 4 months after BU).

 

She wrote me a text on Xmas to say merry xmas, and a couple of weeks ago she wrote me a text because she wanted to know how my grandfather and aunt were (my grandfather has been ill lately), she told me she thought my little brother was growing up a lot because she saw some pictures (She still follows me on Instagram, I no longer follow her, and she still likes my pictures). I didn't really answer a lot, I thought it best to treat it as a 'business-like-conversation', trying not to sound or look mad, unhappy or sad.

 

"At least" she waited 4 months to post photos with him... I don't really know what to think about it... is it too soon? Should I be mad at her? Next time she writes should I tell her to f-off? Or am I going to look like a pathetic guy that just can't move on?

[KaliLove]

You should tell her, gently, that you need her to stop contacting you because you still have feelings and it's making it too hard for you to heal, and you should block her on all forms of social media.

[Chi townD]

Okay, look dude, I told you on the other thread that she was cheating on you. Point blank. She dropped you for this other guy. She kicked you to the curb the first moment that he started showing interest in her. That's what you meant to her. This is NOT GIGS!

 

 

GIGS is breaking up with you to see if there's something or someone else out there. You hear about them dating several different men or women. You hear about them partying a lot and doing things they normally would never do with you. THAT'S GIGS!

 

 

The thing is, she knows that she cheated on you and she knows she kicked you to the curb over this guy and treated you like dirt. Therefore, she feels a little guilt from time to time. And I'm guessing that everytime she contacted you, you responded. As soon as she realized that you were butt hurt about what she did to you, she went on her merry way.

 

 

If you don't believe me, then lets do an experiment. You stated that you no longer stalk her on Facebook. Well, that tells me that you never blocked her on Facebook. So, try this. Go in and block her on Facebook, and deactivate your Instagram account for a little while. Then, give it a few weeks and I'll guarantee you that she'll notice she no longer has access to your life. She will throw you out a breadcrumb to see what's changed.

 

 

Then, here comes the hard part for you......IGNORE IT!!!!

 

 

She made a choice and that choice was to have you out of her life. Therefore, she's not entitled to know what's going on in yours. She gave up that right.

[Maverick89]

Okay, look dude, I told you on the other thread that she was cheating on you. Point blank. She dropped you for this other guy. She kicked you to the curb the first moment that he started showing interest in her. That's what you meant to her. This is NOT GIGS!

 

 

GIGS is breaking up with you to see if there's something or someone else out there. You hear about them dating several different men or women. You hear about them partying a lot and doing things they normally would never do with you. THAT'S GIGS!

 

 

The thing is, she knows that she cheated on you and she knows she kicked you to the curb over this guy and treated you like dirt. Therefore, she feels a little guilt from time to time. And I'm guessing that everytime she contacted you, you responded. As soon as she realized that you were butt hurt about what she did to you, she went on her merry way.

 

 

If you don't believe me, then lets do an experiment. You stated that you no longer stalk her on Facebook. Well, that tells me that you never blocked her on Facebook. So, try this. Go in and block her on Facebook, and deactivate your Instagram account for a little while. Then, give it a few weeks and I'll guarantee you that she'll notice she no longer has access to your life. She will throw you out a breadcrumb to see what's changed.

 

 

Then, here comes the hard part for you......IGNORE IT!!!!

 

 

She made a choice and that choice was to have you out of her life. Therefore, she's not entitled to know what's going on in yours. She gave up that right.

Yeah, I know she cheated on me. I said "I think she had GIGS"... so it's not entirely GIGS but it's some type of it. She was so sure of spending the rest of her life with me until she another man... My question is, do I have to act mad? ignoring her? not answering? Isn't it better to act like I'm better (which I am since the BU)? I don't want to look like the pathetic guy that can't move on...

 

Isn't it better to improve ourselves (I've been going to the gym, got a new job, buying a bike, moving to a new apartment) and act aloof or mature or that we're over them?

 

Doing the experiment. Just blocked her from Facebook and Instagram. I'm not that active on either of them... it really feels really weird that she "likes" my pictures. So now she won't be able to do it...

Edited March 17, 2014 by Maverick89

[Chi townD]

Yeah, I know she cheated on me. I said "I think she had GIGS"... so it's not entirely GIGS but it's some type of it. She was so sure of spending the rest of her life with me until she another man... My question is, do I have to act mad? ignoring her? not answering? Isn't it better to act like I'm better (which I am since the BU)? I don't want to look like the pathetic guy that can't move on...

 

Isn't it better to improve ourselves (I've been going to the gym, got a new job, buying a bike, moving to a new apartment) and act aloof or mature or that we're over them?

 

Doing the experiment. Just blocked her from Facebook and Instagram. I'm not that active on either of them... it really feels really weird that she "likes" my pictures. So now she won't be able to do it...

 

 

 

No, you don't have to act mad. You do need to respond at all! That's the point! Look, she wanted you out of her life. She told you that your services as boyfriend are no longer required. So, why would there be ANY NEED to contact you at all!

 

 

When you do look pathetic is when she can see that you're not moving on. That you're still pining away at her. Gives her an ego boost and makes her feel sorry for you (thus, this pathetic sod can move on from me. How sad!) and they will FISH for that ego boost by saying sh*t like, "I really miss you." and crap like that to try and pull at your heart strings. And how would she know this? The only way is if you're still in contact with her.

 

 

When you respond to nothing, then you give her EXACTLY that! Nothing! She has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if your mad, or sad, or angry as hell. And do you know what? It's NONE OF HER BUSINESS!! She gave up that right to know by her own choosing.

 

 

If she contacts you or tries to throw you a breadcrumb, just ignore it. Why would you respond? What's it going to change? NOTHING! You are not her friend! I'm sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result is that you are nothing more than a good friend to her.

 

 

Look, NC is a tool to help us heal and move on. It is not used to try and get our Ex's back. It's not to piss off our Ex's. It's used for us and our healing. NOT THEIR'S!!

 

 

So, if you get a breadcrumb, stop and take a deep breath. SEND HER NOTHING! Fire up the computer and post about it here instead. People will be here to walk you through the tough times.

Edited March 17, 2014 by Chi townD

[lolablue17]

I agree with Chi.

Yes, you should move on and i'm glad you feel better. But not all is a matter of "your desire to have her back". It's also about dignity and integrity.

 

She played dirty. She managed to spoil your memories with her with a great "talent" and to walk all over you with her lies and deceptions (not to mention the cheating which may or may not happened). So as a person to a person - Even if you got over her completely, why would you want anything with her at all?

 

She has already shown you how much can you trust her. So your full NC should be a way of cleaning your life and gather only good people around you, not her types.

Edited March 17, 2014 by lolablue17

[Maverick89]

No, you don't have to act mad. You do need to respond at all! That's the point! Look, she wanted you out of her life. She told you that your services as boyfriend are no longer required. So, why would there be ANY NEED to contact you at all!

 

 

When you do look pathetic is when she can see that you're not moving on. That you're still pining away at her. Gives her an ego boost and makes her feel sorry for you (thus, this pathetic sod can move on from me. How sad!) and they will FISH for that ego boost by saying sh*t like, "I really miss you." and crap like that to try and pull at your heart strings. And how would she know this? The only way is if you're still in contact with her.

 

 

When you respond to nothing, then you give her EXACTLY that! Nothing! She has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if your mad, or sad, or angry as hell. And do you know what? It's NONE OF HER BUSINESS!! She gave up that right to know by her own choosing.

 

 

If she contacts you or tries to throw you a breadcrumb, just ignore it. Why would you respond? What's it going to change? NOTHING! You are not her friend! I'm sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result is that you are nothing more than a good friend to her.

 

 

Look, NC is a tool to help us heal and move on. It is not used to try and get our Ex's back. It's not to piss off our Ex's. It's used for us and our healing. NOT THEIR'S!!

 

 

So, if you get a breadcrumb, stop and take a deep breath. SEND HER NOTHING! Fire up the computer and post about it here instead. People will be here to walk you through the tough times.

So, I did what you said, blocked her from everything. I didn't get a breadcrumb, but instead her mother wrote to me to know how was everything, what I was doing, etc.

We had a pretty close relationship (not that close, I mean, as close as you could get to your mother-in-law). But anyways... I thought it was best to be polite and answer, since she didn't do anything wrong to me.

 

If it's my ex on her mothers facebook profile well I think that is very weird...

 

Anyways, don't know if I should do the NC treatment to her mother as well...

[elseaacych]

This may help explain a bit:

 

Overlappers: When they start a new relationship just before your breakup | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

[Maverick89]

Ok, so an update. The ex texted me because my grandfather is very ill. I even had to go back home to be with him and with all of my family because he's not good at all. I didn't tell almost anybody that I was going back home due to his illness. I honestly don't know how she found out... anyways, that's not the case. She texted me on saturday 'Ey. Just found out about your grandfather. You don't know how sorry I am'

 

I didn't respond, I honestly don't know if I should've at least texted a 'thank you' or something like that, just for being polite. Now I don't know if I'm an ******* who is very rude because I didn't even say thanks...

 

Her mother texted me today, she wanted to know how my grandfather was doing and I answered almost immediately... I don't know if I should have done that. In the end, her mother didn't break my heart, but still, she dismissed me when I asked for her help and if she knew if I could do something when the breakup was still fresh (I know that's not something that can be done, but then again I had a very good relationship with her mother)

 

Anyways, I feel so angry with all of them...

 

I wrote an answer to the ex which I did not send... Just gonna share it with you guys so I get it of my chest. I wrote it as if I were to text her right now... Here it goes.

 

"Hello, sorry for not answering on saturday but I sincerely forgot to do so. On this moment I would like to go and say 'thanks for the attention'... But I think it's not enough to express what's really going thru my mind right now. Yes, thank you for the good wishes about what's going on with my grandfather, but if you really want him to get better, then, send the good wishes and good vibes and don't let me know about it. If I may ask you this question... what's your objective of writing me and letting me know you're sorry about my grandfather? Do you want to validate yourself as a 'good girl' because you worry about your ex-boyfriends grandfather? Why do you need said validation?... I believe there are two possibilities...

Genuinely you think you're a 'good girl' and that worrying and letting me know about it is the decent thing to do, and shows good manners, or you really are trying to validate yourself and this somehow is an attempt that we end up in good terms. This is the part I tell you, you don't need to validate yourself, because there is simply no way we end up in good terms. You treated me in a way I certainly did not deserve, and you did not behave correctly in these past few months, you weren't honest and you did everything, as if I cheated on you or treated you badly, taking your new boyfriend to your cousins wedding only 2 months after breaking up with me, and announcing your new found love on Instagram shortly thereafter... Frankly I feel sorry for the dude, considering only a couple of months you still posted pictures of us with the captions 'miss you' & 'love you'.

I understand that love ends... relationships can change to something that no longer works... But I can't understand your behavior in all of this. What I can understand and what I can notice is a tremendous insecurity in you, and that you really are trying to tell yourself that you did the right thing and you're trying we end up as friends, but I tell you right here and now, and I want you to know, that I don't want to be your friend... Not after how you treated me, when all I did was love you and give you everything I had.

Thanks for worrying about my grandpa, although sincerely I think that we left these 'formalities' way behind, and that you don't need to write me to let me know how decent and cordial you are."

 

Again, I didn't send this... My therapist says that I should do what I feel like (Which is not very helpful). One of my best friends said that I can't send that and give her that kind of importance, but another good friend of mine said that it was amazing and that I should send it. For the moment I'm staying like this, not saying anything and I'll be waiting for your opinions. Thanks in advance.

[Chi townD]

Just the act of writing is very therapeutic. But, you're also right in not sending it. This was for you. To get all of this crap off of your chest.

 

 

You're doing well, dude! Keep up the good work!

[Maverick89]

ok just wanted to update this thread, and ask you guys something.

 

I haven't received any more breadcrumbs from the ex, no contact from her mother or anything like that. I've been feeling better lately, a lot of friends and family are telling me that I look better and that I'm 'going back to my real self'.

 

I like that people at least are perceiving me as a positive and fun guy... yet I feel that I'm faking it sometimes...

 

I've hooked up with other girls, I'm even kinda dating a girl who I like, we've been talking everyday about everything, she's very funny and we just kinda click... but why do I feel I'm not quite over my ex?.

 

Last week, there was a birthday party of a friend of mine back in my home country (also friend of the ex)... She of course went, as well as one of my best friends. We live in different countries, and while I was out partying in my current country, I couldn't stop thinking about this party... I got drunk, and asked my best friend about my ex... I don't know why I asked... anyways, he told me that it seems that she already replaced my replacement... it was like I needed some fuel for the night, and I ended up hooking up with a girl out of pure 'rage'... this is the second time it has happened to me... I feel nothing but regret about it...

 

I've been very careful with the girl that I like, since I don't want to be a douchebag and turn her into a rebound relationship... we've been pretty casual... we made out at a party one time, nothing too serious, the problem is that last weekend we went to the movies, and when she said goodbye she kissed me on the mouth right in front of her best friend... you're probably thinking it's pathetic of me... but it actually felt like a big deal... I don't know if I want to continue to pursue her in a more romantic way or maybe find out that what I need to get over the ex is find another love story...

 

I'm trying really hard to get past this... I really am... I want to forget all about the ex and just move on... I'm so mad at myself that I still give her a great importance while she doesn't care about me...

 

I've been trying to paying it forward for some people around here... it gives me a little 'peace' to help people around here... Anyways, keeping this updated. Thanks for all the help...

[Cali408]

Just clean the slate and move on. You're young, live and keep doing the right things. fake it until you make it. You're doing great keep it up!

[Maverick89]

Hello everybody, wanted to update this thread. Haven't been here since early May and a lot has happened. I'm not gonna say everything is ok, but in comparison to what I was a couple of months ago it has been a great improvement.

 

The ex continued to text me a couple of times these past months for very stupid things, even after I didn't respond to the last messages about more serious stuff. She texted me when Italy won the world cup match against England (I'm italian, big fan of soccer, anyways...) she texted 'Congratulations! Couldn't not think about you with the match!'... I was like :confused:After all that she's done, she thinks she can just text me like that? out of the blue? of course I didn't answer, I think it was very immature of her to text me like that... I don't know if she was just 'testing the waters' of how I was, anyways, I didn't respond.

 

Now, the thing is, two fridays ago, she texted me 'hey, I know you don't want to know anything about me, but I know you've recently been in contact with my mother (her mother texted me to know how I was doing a couple of days prior to this:confused:) and since the care for both of my parents is the same, I wanted to let you know that my father suffered a heart attack last night and he's in intensive care as of now'

 

So... I didn't know if this was a breadcrumb, I didn't know if she was doing it because she wanted the support I always gave her when we were in a RS, I don't know her objective in texting me this... anyways, I caved, didn't seem right to not answer, and I called her... she didn't answer, she texted me that she couldn't speak on the phone because she was very upset about her father and I texted her 'I'm really sorry about your father, I hope he gets better pretty soon' and I called her mother to tell her the same thing. I don't know if I'm being too nice... I hope they don't see my kindness as a weakness or something like that...

 

I texted her the next day to see how her father was and we chatted for a while, she thanked me for concerned about her father and it ended there.

 

I don't know if I want her back so much to have a RS with her, but I think I want her back to receive an apology for everything she did and how she threw me to the curb and exchanged me for another man... I know i have to forgive her to find peace, it's not healthy for me to stay mad, so i've been telling myself that she was (and still is) very immature.

 

The funny thing is, that all of her family, sister, uncle, mother, father, etc. are like my number one fans on Instagram, Facebook, etc. liking almost every post of mine. I have her blocked on everything so she can't really see anything unless she goes to one of her family's social network. The mother still texts me from time to time, a couple of days ago she texted me 'Hey, how are you? Do you by any chance have your dentist's number?'.... I live in a different country since almost a year and a half, my dentist was their dentist before I went there, they introduced the dentist to me! I was kinda baffled... I don't know if the mother herself threw me a breadcrumb... I feel kinda special 'breadcrumb from the mother in law' this must be a new thing... anyways, I appreciate any thoughts you may have, I apologize for my English if there are some expressions you don't understand, English is not my main language, and I appreciate the time you invested in reading this thread

[bubbaganoosh]

Ok, so an update. The ex texted me because my grandfather is very ill. I even had to go back home to be with him and with all of my family because he's not good at all. I didn't tell almost anybody that I was going back home due to his illness. I honestly don't know how she found out... anyways, that's not the case. She texted me on saturday 'Ey. Just found out about your grandfather. You don't know how sorry I am'

 

I didn't respond, I honestly don't know if I should've at least texted a 'thank you' or something like that, just for being polite. Now I don't know if I'm an ******* who is very rude because I didn't even say thanks...

 

Her mother texted me today, she wanted to know how my grandfather was doing and I answered almost immediately... I don't know if I should have done that. In the end, her mother didn't break my heart, but still, she dismissed me when I asked for her help and if she knew if I could do something when the breakup was still fresh (I know that's not something that can be done, but then again I had a very good relationship with her mother)

 

Anyways, I feel so angry with all of them...

 

I wrote an answer to the ex which I did not send... Just gonna share it with you guys so I get it of my chest. I wrote it as if I were to text her right now... Here it goes.

 

"Hello, sorry for not answering on saturday but I sincerely forgot to do so. On this moment I would like to go and say 'thanks for the attention'... But I think it's not enough to express what's really going thru my mind right now. Yes, thank you for the good wishes about what's going on with my grandfather, but if you really want him to get better, then, send the good wishes and good vibes and don't let me know about it. If I may ask you this question... what's your objective of writing me and letting me know you're sorry about my grandfather? Do you want to validate yourself as a 'good girl' because you worry about your ex-boyfriends grandfather? Why do you need said validation?... I believe there are two possibilities...

Genuinely you think you're a 'good girl' and that worrying and letting me know about it is the decent thing to do, and shows good manners, or you really are trying to validate yourself and this somehow is an attempt that we end up in good terms. This is the part I tell you, you don't need to validate yourself, because there is simply no way we end up in good terms. You treated me in a way I certainly did not deserve, and you did not behave correctly in these past few months, you weren't honest and you did everything, as if I cheated on you or treated you badly, taking your new boyfriend to your cousins wedding only 2 months after breaking up with me, and announcing your new found love on Instagram shortly thereafter... Frankly I feel sorry for the dude, considering only a couple of months you still posted pictures of us with the captions 'miss you' & 'love you'.

I understand that love ends... relationships can change to something that no longer works... But I can't understand your behavior in all of this. What I can understand and what I can notice is a tremendous insecurity in you, and that you really are trying to tell yourself that you did the right thing and you're trying we end up as friends, but I tell you right here and now, and I want you to know, that I don't want to be your friend... Not after how you treated me, when all I did was love you and give you everything I had.

Thanks for worrying about my grandpa, although sincerely I think that we left these 'formalities' way behind, and that you don't need to write me to let me know how decent and cordial you are."

 

Again, I didn't send this... My therapist says that I should do what I feel like (Which is not very helpful). One of my best friends said that I can't send that and give her that kind of importance, but another good friend of mine said that it was amazing and that I should send it. For the moment I'm staying like this, not saying anything and I'll be waiting for your opinions. Thanks in advance.

 

Send it and your never going to heal. All your going to do is pick the scab off the wound.

 

IMO, block her from every possible ways to communicate. Out of sight, out of mind.

 

All she's doing is throwing you a bread crumb so she can cover her guilt. Plain and simple. And with you answering her, all you do is give her the ability to keep you going.

 

The only way your going to heal is for you to stop contact with her. Don't answer her. Just let it go and sooner or later she'll get the hint.

[Chi townD]

You start to feel guilty because of the anger you have towards her. Well, you have a right to be angry. She left you for another guy! Anybody has a right to feel angry about that. But, that's just part of the healing process.

 

 

The goal with healing is that you get to a point of indifference towards her. That anytime you think about her, it doesn't cause pain, anger or sadness. It's like you can care less. That's the goal!

[hurts2death]

Maverick i am sorry for your drama. i have been through the same things. trust me this feeling that surrounds you of beeing thrown in the deep sea will go away just be patient and stay nc, work on you.

[smackie9]

If you have her family still on your social media, then they don't see the door being closed. They think you are still trying to stay in her life by keeping in the loop with them. And I'm sure this is what she sees, a possible friendship maybe? That would explain the texting for support.

 

If you want this to stop, then close that door and cut all contact with any one connected with her or you will never be able to move on.

 

No contact is blocking and deleting phone numbers, emails, FB etc.

[Maverick89]

Hello, just wanted to update this, I've been staying clear of the forum just to block all things that reminded me of her, and I'm sorry about it because that means I also stopped helping people around.

 

The update comes, besides being almost a year since we broke up for real, because my ex sent me an email. Gonna leave this here, people can read it, say what you think about, give your opinion, etc. I honestly don't care anymore about what happens, I know she should've stayed clear and respect the decision she made, which was leaving me, so it tells me that she's not as mature or smart as I thought her to be.

 

Anyways, to give you some context, I've been recently admitted to a Masters Degree in Madrid, Spain. I did my best in translating it for you, so, let me know what you guys think. Thanks for the support and your opinion.

 

"Ey!

I know that this is coming out of the blue, but you know that I like to write and I've been meaning to congratulate you and I haven't done it.

 

I've seen all of the accomplishments you had this year and I want you to know that I'm very proud of you, in spite of the distance the care (caring?) I have for you hasn't changed, especially because of the beautiful moments and memories we share together

 

I hope you are super happy and that you keep following your dreams because you deserve everything thats good in the world. I think I'm never going to meet a person as authentic and noble as you.

 

I also wanted you to know that you always were and always will be my true great love. I think I now understand when people say that you never forget your first one hahaha I don't think I'll ever see a man the way I looked at you.

 

Anyways, I wanted to wish you the best of luck in Spain, its going to be a great adventure. I hope you discover new things, you party a lot, you have fun, you study and that you have a blast. Only if you want to take a good laugh about the ironies of life, when I was working with organizational psychology I also took some info on the same university you're attending hahaha.

 

I hope that someday you can forgive me, because I'd love to keep in touch with you, because even if we were lovers, we were also great friends.

 

Te quiero mucho (I don't actually have a translation for you because it's not I love you, but its not like I care for you)

 

 

 

PD: I don't expect an answer btw, it's just that, after all, I like to express my feelings and thoughts to the people I care about, because we don't know if we're gonna be here the next day...

 

I don't know if this is either an attempt to get closer to me and trying to fix something for real, or if she just wants to be friends and she felt guilty for a second there... honestly, I have no information whatsoever as to what her real intentions are, and if she just wants to be friends then I'm gonna have to tell her to F*** off...

 

I answered, "what a surprise, thanks for the beautiful words. Wish you the best of luck, talk to you later"

Edited November 11, 2014 by Maverick89

[smackie9]

She is looking for forgiveness. BTW if you want nothing to do with her, why did you end it with ttyl. You just opened up the door again.

[BC1980]

She only wants forgiveness. It's clear she does not want to "fix" anything or begin a relationship again.

[smackie9]

This is your answer....I hope that someday you can forgive me, because I'd love to keep in touch with you, because even if we were lovers, we were also great friends.

[johnson_j]

Thanks for the update Mav. I wish you hadn't responded at all to her inquiry. Let her be the one to suffer.

[Maverick89]

I honestly didn't give a **** and I was going for the "yeah, whatever, talk to you later" type of approach. Frankly I don't think she'll suffer if I don't answer or if I do for that matter. I think that I've grown out of this need of her to suffer and realize that she made a big mistake of leaving me like that. In the end I can only thank her for fueling all of the things I accomplished, that I actually did it for me, to become a better person, but theres that percentage in letting her know what a big mistake she did by leaving me. In the end it doesn't matter if she suffers over it or not, she left me and is gonna miss a whole lot of great things she could've had with me.

 

She thinks she can come, write an email, and assume everything is ok? I think its a little pretentious so I gave her a little indifference. What the **** do I care if she thinks we're buddies now, I'm not gonna allow that, she can think whatever she want... nobody is wrong or right in their own story... so for that matter she thinks she did good by her own standards, she's gonna think she's a great person because of that email, regardless of how I feel about it.

 

It's very clear she's been so selfish all this year, writing and texting to me whenever she felt like it, and she clearly is not the person that I thought she was, not to mention the person that I fell in love with. I can't change the fact that she writes to me whenever she feels like. She hasn't responded, she clearly took the cold message and is staying clear for the moment. If I know her, she must be mad that after that long email she wrote (which actually had some courage to write because I could've easily told her to **** off) I only answered in such a short email.

 

Anyways, thanks for your opinion guys.

[johnson_j]

You're a hero to many of us

[Maverick89]

How come? I don't understand your post.