GF of 5 years called it quits.

[Maverick89]

(Sorry, I posted this on the G.I.G.S thread as well, just wanted to see if I could get more advice from here)

 

Hello,

 

This really is very weird for me, I've never written anything like this, but here it goes, I hope it helps me vent and maybe some of you might have some advice. Sorry if there are some weird expression, English is not my main language.

 

I started my relationship with my girlfriend at 18 and she was 16 at the moment. It was an on & off thing from my 15 to 18 years until we decided to go on to have a serious relationship. The relationship was awesome because we've been friend for a long time before being BF and GF. I'm not gonna bother you with details of such a long relationship, just gonna say that we didn't fight, we never called it quits, never took breaks from one and other, things we're just perfect.

 

So, last year, in March 2013 I moved to a different country. The country that I lived in was in a horrible situation, no jobs, no future, you name it. So I waited until I graduated and went on to this new country and look for better opportunities. My GF & I, decided to go Long Distance for 8 months, since we were gonna wait for her to also graduate (She was supposed to graduate in December last year). Last year I spent all of my savings in plane tickets for her to visit me and for me so I could visit her (It wasn't really a long distance relationship since we saw each other every 3 weeks).

 

Now for the interesting part. In mid september she started her internship in a new company. First day in, she told me she got hit on by some guy but I didn't have to worry because she knew, and everybody told her, that this guy was the offices "player" and that he did that with everybody. Me, not being particularly jealous, I didn't worry too much, since I trusted her with my life (Again, 5 and a half years relationship). 3 days later, she had some kind of gathering with her new co-workers and she told me, that there was a girl with a long distance relationship and that people were making fun of her situation and that long distance never works out, she told me she "defended" her, and told them that she was in a long distance relationship as well, and she was happy and told them that I was "the prince of her life" (actual quote).

 

Of course, nothing of this seemed weird for me, I considered that she was being honest with me, and I was grateful for that. I didn't see any of this as a "red flag" (maybe I should have), the problem is that same day she posted on Instagram and Facebook a photo of us with the caption "missing you". So, come friday she had a wedding and she went with some friends (same group of friends as mine) and she didn't answer any of my texts, which was very weird of her, but it didn't matter because I always told her that if she was having fun, I would understand her, not being on the phone all the time, as I asked of her when I was out with friends. When I told her this, she told me she didn't feel the phone vibrating and didn't know I was trying to contact her.

 

Anyways, the next day, went without any particular thing, and on Sunday she wrote "We need to talk". I never actually thought that we were going to have "the talk", again, I had plans of bring her to my new country, living with her, we had a paid cruise trip in December, I was going to visit her on her birthday, spending xmas with her family, she was spending New year's with mine, her cousins wedding, etc... all big commitment plans.

 

So on this talk, she cried a lot, she told me she felt quite weird not wanting to talk to me while she was at a party and she questioned why she was having so much fun without me. She told me she felt that I was kinda negative lately, that she wanted a change in my attitude and that she thought I wasn't searching what I really wanted in life, she didn't say we we're over, she just wanted to see a change in me. I thought a lot about this, I thought she was right, and I realized I postponed a lot of things, just because I was 1000% concentrated on bringing her to my new country, I was on a job I didn't like, and I stayed there because of the money and because I needed it badly so I could pay a rent for when she was going to move in with me.

 

I decided to change my attitude and totally took her advice, I woke up the next the with the best attitude ever... the problem was, that as soon as I got to my office, I received an email that definitely called it quits, she said that she didn't get any sleep that night and that she thought a lot about it and that she couldn't have this relationship anymore, she wasn't going to graduate on December because of problems with her thesis and that it had been postponed to July 2014... said she couldn't handle long distance until that time and that she decided to end it.

 

Of course I was broken, I immediately replied that I wanted at least to talk on skype and say somethings on my own, that she couldn't end a 5 year relationship on email. She agreed and that night we talked. I'm not gonna bother you with any details, especially since this is turning very long. We had a couple of weeks that we talked, we agreed to see each other on her birthday (which was 1 month away), and then we went on NC for that month, she liked almost all of my posts on Instagram and Facebook while I didn't cave and liked hers or tried to contact her. I wasn't thinking clearly at that time, I quit my job and I actually decided on moving back to my home country with her (even without no job possibilities, etc) so we could start all over. Needless to say when I went back I was thinking of going out, maybe a couple of drinks and start that spark all over again, I was going with plans on making her fall in love with me. The problem is she answered "No, I'm not going to have drinks with you, we'll meet tomorrow, have breakfast and I'll give you back your things"... I threw my phone to my nearest wall...

 

When we met she was very "cold", I told her that I had plans on moving back in and I asked if we could have a new chance, that I was willing on finding a new job and starting all over. Of course, you can guess the answer, she said no, she said that she didn't know the point in all of that, and that moving back to our country was a bad idea.

 

I'm not stupid, I knew she was seeing somebody else... we said goodbye, we kissed and, me, knowing her like I do, I knew she felt guilty of kissing me. So I realized that the thing with the new guy was more serious than it seemed (Only one month after we broke up).

 

I felt I couldn't stay in my home country so I moved back, I wasn't going to survive seeing her around with other people, especially since her friends are my friends, so we were going to see each other a lot.

 

Fast forward one month (NC totally)... I was going back to my country so I could spend xmas with my family. Those were the dates of her cousin's wedding, and... she brought the new guy to the wedding... only 2 months after breaking up with me... I was devastated... I didn't understand, especially to the family... I had the best relation with her family, I was one of them, her parents loved me and I loved her parents... so I didn't know why she brought him to such an important event.

 

Anyways, I wrote a merry xmas and happy birthday email to her mother (I totally love her mother, such an inspiring woman, she survived leukemia, process in which I was totally supportive and I even donated blood for her) I don't know if I should've, but I felt it was the decent thing to do. She replied with a very affectionate email, saying how I was very special, that I deserved having all of my wishes come true, etc.

 

10 minutes later I received a text from my ex-Gf, saying that she wished me a happy xmas and that she hoped all was well with me. It's safe to assume her mother told her to do that text, trying not to hurt my feelings or giving me hope.

 

Fast forward 2 more months of NC and she comes out of the blue and writes that she wanted to know how my grandfather and aunt (that are still living in my home country) were. I was very polite, answered and asked for her family. We kept it really polite and casual.

 

I don't know if I should've answered, "yeah, all great, thank you, now go and worry about the grandfather and aunt of your new boyfriend, leave me alone". My therapist only said that I should've done whatever I felt like, and that if I felt like I could be polite, then that's who I am and we can't change that... besides, after almost 5 months it's kinda weird to still holding a grudge, and that maybe it's better to come out as a bigger person.

 

I don't know what to do... I don't know if she's having second thoughts... after that conversation, two days later she visited my LinkedIn profile to see what I was up to. I had just recently updated my profile, since i started a new job, which I love so far. I think it's pretty pathetic of me to think that, but at least she got an interest in me, and it felt quite nice to kinda "rub in her face" that I had a new cool job.

 

Anyways, I know that I need to go on with my life, I've been talking with other people and I've even hooked up with other women and I've been recently talking with a girl I really like, the only problem is she isn't 18 yet (in my country it's not illegal but whatever, 6 year difference is kinda big at the moment) she's turning 18 in a month, so we kinda have a "date" when she turns 18.

 

I really want to take my ex-gf out of my mind so I can go on with my life, pursuing new flings and other women. But I sometimes think that I would totally love to get the "I'm really sorry, i want to get back with you" text message, even if she is going out (went out?) with the "player of her office", who is 10 years older than her. She even posted a photo of them at the beach, only 3 months after breaking up with me...

 

Any advice is really appreciated.

Edited March 4, 2014 by Maverick89

[mjkid31]

Man, that sounds awful. Can't believe she's dating some king **** player that's a ****ing decade older than her instead of you. I wish I could give you advice. Next time she tries to contact you just be sarcastic and act angry, she doesn't deserve to be treated in a polite manner with what she's putting you through. I really hope you solve this issue, let us know how it goes!

[Discover]

(Sorry, I posted this on the G.I.G.S thread as well, just wanted to see if I could get more advice from here)

 

Hello,

 

This really is very weird for me, I've never written anything like this, but here it goes, I hope it helps me vent and maybe some of you might have some advice. Sorry if there are some weird expression, English is not my main language.

 

I started my relationship with my girlfriend at 18 and she was 16 at the moment. It was an on & off thing from my 15 to 18 years until we decided to go on to have a serious relationship. The relationship was awesome because we've been friend for a long time before being BF and GF. I'm not gonna bother you with details of such a long relationship, just gonna say that we didn't fight, we never called it quits, never took breaks from one and other, things we're just perfect.

 

So, last year, in March 2013 I moved to a different country. The country that I lived in was in a horrible situation, no jobs, no future, you name it. So I waited until I graduated and went on to this new country and look for better opportunities. My GF & I, decided to go Long Distance for 8 months, since we were gonna wait for her to also graduate (She was supposed to graduate in December last year). Last year I spent all of my savings in plane tickets for her to visit me and for me so I could visit her (It wasn't really a long distance relationship since we saw each other every 3 weeks).

 

Now for the interesting part. In mid september she started her internship in a new company. First day in, she told me she got hit on by some guy but I didn't have to worry because she knew, and everybody told her, that this guy was the offices "player" and that he did that with everybody. Me, not being particularly jealous, I didn't worry too much, since I trusted her with my life (Again, 5 and a half years relationship). 3 days later, she had some kind of gathering with her new co-workers and she told me, that there was a girl with a long distance relationship and that people were making fun of her situation and that long distance never works out, she told me she "defended" her, and told them that she was in a long distance relationship as well, and she was happy and told them that I was "the prince of her life" (actual quote).

 

Of course, nothing of this seemed weird for me, I considered that she was being honest with me, and I was grateful for that. I didn't see any of this as a "red flag" (maybe I should have), the problem is that same day she posted on Instagram and Facebook a photo of us with the caption "missing you". So, come friday she had a wedding and she went with some friends (same group of friends as mine) and she didn't answer any of my texts, which was very weird of her, but it didn't matter because I always told her that if she was having fun, I would understand her, not being on the phone all the time, as I asked of her when I was out with friends. When I told her this, she told me she didn't feel the phone vibrating and didn't know I was trying to contact her.

 

Anyways, the next day, went without any particular thing, and on Sunday she wrote "We need to talk". I never actually thought that we were going to have "the talk", again, I had plans of bring her to my new country, living with her, we had a paid cruise trip in December, I was going to visit her on her birthday, spending xmas with her family, she was spending New year's with mine, her cousins wedding, etc... all big commitment plans.

 

So on this talk, she cried a lot, she told me she felt quite weird not wanting to talk to me while she was at a party and she questioned why she was having so much fun without me. She told me she felt that I was kinda negative lately, that she wanted a change in my attitude and that she thought I wasn't searching what I really wanted in life, she didn't say we we're over, she just wanted to see a change in me. I thought a lot about this, I thought she was right, and I realized I postponed a lot of things, just because I was 1000% concentrated on bringing her to my new country, I was on a job I didn't like, and I stayed there because of the money and because I needed it badly so I could pay a rent for when she was going to move in with me.

 

I decided to change my attitude and totally took her advice, I woke up the next the with the best attitude ever... the problem was, that as soon as I got to my office, I received an email that definitely called it quits, she said that she didn't get any sleep that night and that she thought a lot about it and that she couldn't have this relationship anymore, she wasn't going to graduate on December because of problems with her thesis and that it had been postponed to July 2014... said she couldn't handle long distance until that time and that she decided to end it.

 

Of course I was broken, I immediately replied that I wanted at least to talk on skype and say somethings on my own, that she couldn't end a 5 year relationship on email. She agreed and that night we talked. I'm not gonna bother you with any details, especially since this is turning very long. We had a couple of weeks that we talked, we agreed to see each other on her birthday (which was 1 month away), and then we went on NC for that month, she liked almost all of my posts on Instagram and Facebook while I didn't cave and liked hers or tried to contact her. I wasn't thinking clearly at that time, I quit my job and I actually decided on moving back to my home country with her (even without no job possibilities, etc) so we could start all over. Needless to say when I went back I was thinking of going out, maybe a couple of drinks and start that spark all over again, I was going with plans on making her fall in love with me. The problem is she answered "No, I'm not going to have drinks with you, we'll meet tomorrow, have breakfast and I'll give you back your things"... I threw my phone to my nearest wall...

 

When we met she was very "cold", I told her that I had plans on moving back in and I asked if we could have a new chance, that I was willing on finding a new job and starting all over. Of course, you can guess the answer, she said no, she said that she didn't know the point in all of that, and that moving back to our country was a bad idea.

 

I'm not stupid, I knew she was seeing somebody else... we said goodbye, we kissed and, me, knowing her like I do, I knew she felt guilty of kissing me. So I realized that the thing with the new guy was more serious than it seemed (Only one month after we broke up).

 

I felt I couldn't stay in my home country so I moved back, I wasn't going to survive seeing her around with other people, especially since her friends are my friends, so we were going to see each other a lot.

 

Fast forward one month (NC totally)... I was going back to my country so I could spend xmas with my family. Those were the dates of her cousin's wedding, and... she brought the new guy to the wedding... only 2 months after breaking up with me... I was devastated... I didn't understand, especially to the family... I had the best relation with her family, I was one of them, her parents loved me and I loved her parents... so I didn't know why she brought him to such an important event.

 

Anyways, I wrote a merry xmas and happy birthday email to her mother (I totally love her mother, such an inspiring woman, she survived leukemia, process in which I was totally supportive and I even donated blood for her) I don't know if I should've, but I felt it was the decent thing to do. She replied with a very affectionate email, saying how I was very special, that I deserved having all of my wishes come true, etc.

 

10 minutes later I received a text from my ex-Gf, saying that she wished me a happy xmas and that she hoped all was well with me. It's safe to assume her mother told her to do that text, trying not to hurt my feelings or giving me hope.

 

Fast forward 2 more months of NC and she comes out of the blue and writes that she wanted to know how my grandfather and aunt (that are still living in my home country) were. I was very polite, answered and asked for her family. We kept it really polite and casual.

 

I don't know if I should've answered, "yeah, all great, thank you, now go and worry about the grandfather and aunt of your new boyfriend, leave me alone". My therapist only said that I should've done whatever I felt like, and that if I felt like I could be polite, then that's who I am and we can't change that... besides, after almost 5 months it's kinda weird to still holding a grudge, and that maybe it's better to come out as a bigger person.

 

I don't know what to do... I don't know if she's having second thoughts... after that conversation, two days later she visited my LinkedIn profile to see what I was up to. I had just recently updated my profile, since i started a new job, which I love so far. I think it's pretty pathetic of me to think that, but at least she got an interest in me, and it felt quite nice to kinda "rub in her face" that I had a new cool job.

 

Anyways, I know that I need to go on with my life, I've been talking with other people and I've even hooked up with other women and I've been recently talking with a girl I really like, the only problem is she isn't 18 yet (in my country it's not illegal but whatever, 6 year difference is kinda big at the moment) she's turning 18 in a month, so we kinda have a "date" when she turns 18.

 

I really want to take my ex-gf out of my mind so I can go on with my life, pursuing new flings and other women. But I sometimes think that I would totally love to get the "I'm really sorry, i want to get back with you" text message, even if she is going out (went out?) with the "player of her office", who is 10 years older than her. She even posted a photo of them at the beach, only 3 months after breaking up with me...

 

Any advice is really appreciated.

Keep your eyes open man! ))

 

About 2 months ago I got dumped by my 2-year-lover and well..she came back but believe me it makes things worse, at least in my case as I want her back but not now when all I can do is remember her hurting me..but..anyway..

 

I don't think you should wait for your "I am sorry message" 5months have passed and you need to move on! I am happy that you found a job that you love and this new girl..don't do stupid things, wait for her to be old enough and if you really think that you two can be happy together,then go for it!!

 

My advice, forget your ex and try and find something amazing in another girl, something that will grab your heart and you will feel as if your ex was just a fluke!

Don't think about your Ex anymore,don't talk about her, don't check whether she is on the social networks or not, forget her and enjoy your life. If it is meant to be maybe you will be back together in time,but not right now!

 

Don't lose hope,keep living and make yourself a man worth of loving! )))

[Chi townD]

Lets face it dude. She cheated on you. Maybe not physically at first, but she became emotionally involved with this dude enough so that she valued him over you. So, she dumped you in order to take things further with him. I mean, less than 60 days later you're getting info that she's with this dude. No mourning the loss of you or mourning the loss of the relationship.

 

 

So, now she contact you and being "friendly". Dude, she wants you in the "friend zone" because she's realizing that she did you wrong and she starting to feel guilty.

 

 

Dude, you are not her friend. Just ignore her. She made her choice and that choice was to have you out of her life. So, give her exactly what she asked for. Stay NC. Ignore everything.

[Maverick89]

I definitely agree with you... especially on the part of the emotional cheating. I was very frustrated thinking how did I not realize that she was drifting away from me. I guess the long distance doesn't help... I mean, who would realize there is something wrong thru Skype or Whatsapp.

 

I know her, I do know she felt infatuated with this dude and that she liked him. One of the days after the breakup she told me that she liked being hit on and that she felt there was that particular fact missing in her life. I mean, how can I still be the guy that courts her and hits on her while I'm away... Whatsapp and Skype really do no good and skype or phone sex just isn't enough.

 

Anyways, she might trying to be friendly, she certainly knows she did me wrong, she constantly asked me not to hate her for doing this (although it certainly crossed my mind)... I don't know, maybe I should be mad and stay mad forever... but I've read this around, and I totally agree, that holding a grudge is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

I guess that I'm going to continue being the bigger person... I didn't see anything wrong with me asking about her family, since the situation in our home country is pretty dire at the moment. I didn't give any personal information, I didn't try any small talk, she asked how my grandfather and my aunt were, I answered, asked about hers and she answered. We shared a couple of opinions about the political turmoil that we're living, then she said she had seen some pictures of my 7 year old brother, she said that he was "huge" (growing rapidly I mean) and then she asked if I had seen her newborn cousin. I might have seen the picture but I said no... I honestly stopped following her both on Instagram and Facebook, yet she still follows me, she still "likes" my pictures and everything.

 

Maybe it's just a feeble attempt to "stay friends" since we were both best friends and we shared a lot together. I do know that I can't be friends with her, and frankly I have no interested in staying friends with her... I definitely don't want that, simply because I can't... I seriously don't know how she could think of being friends after all the things that we shared, lived, all the feelings and plans... at only 24, being surrounded by divorces all my life (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents on one side) I knew the perils of having such a serious relationship at such early age, but we both agreed it didn't matter...

 

I sometimes think that this could've easily happened to me as well... I never cheated, and I never found somebody else that I was attracted simply because I was very much in love... but I could've found somebody else and maybe I could've felt some curiosity.

 

Anyways, thanks for the adive

[Maverick89]

Keep your eyes open man! ))

 

About 2 months ago I got dumped by my 2-year-lover and well..she came back but believe me it makes things worse, at least in my case as I want her back but not now when all I can do is remember her hurting me..but..anyway..

 

I don't think you should wait for your "I am sorry message" 5months have passed and you need to move on! I am happy that you found a job that you love and this new girl..don't do stupid things, wait for her to be old enough and if you really think that you two can be happy together,then go for it!!

 

My advice, forget your ex and try and find something amazing in another girl, something that will grab your heart and you will feel as if your ex was just a fluke!

Don't think about your Ex anymore,don't talk about her, don't check whether she is on the social networks or not, forget her and enjoy your life. If it is meant to be maybe you will be back together in time,but not right now!

 

Don't lose hope,keep living and make yourself a man worth of loving! )))

Thanks for the advice!

 

I'm not gonna try and do anything stupid don't worry, we just exchange messages and the flirting has been staying to a minimum... We have some sort of agreement to wait for her to turn 18.

 

I seriously don't think that I will think of my ex as some sort of fluke... I had everything planned, moving her in with me (big step to move to a different country, not just living in together), marriage, the works... I guess sometimes you make plans and they don't quite work like you wanted.

 

I have to take out the positive in this, and it's that, after this I've grown tons... I was (still am?) heartbroken, but as it's written in the Count of Montecristo, “It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”

 

If anybody else is heartbroken, I strongly recommend that book... the movie is good, not quite faithful to the book... but the book itself has some phrases, that work in this type of grief (even if Edmond Dantes suffered a different kind of treachery)

[Maverick89]

Man, that sounds awful. Can't believe she's dating some king **** player that's a ****ing decade older than her instead of you. I wish I could give you advice. Next time she tries to contact you just be sarcastic and act angry, she doesn't deserve to be treated in a polite manner with what she's putting you through. I really hope you solve this issue, let us know how it goes!

Thanks for the advice...

 

I definitely know I didn't deserve being treated like that, and I know she doesn't deserve me being polite. I did everything and more for her, I fought for her (more than I should have I dare say), etc...

 

Yet I don't think I'm gonna be able to give her the cold shoulder. I'm not gonna be her friend, I don't want to. I'm not gonna be friendly, just staying polite, in a business-like manner , just stating that fact...

 

I have to admit, after 2 months NC (besides her, liking my photos on Instagram)... receiving a text from her sent me into what I thought was a panic attack... I don't have her number saved, yet I recognized the number and I got light headed, started sweating, my ears went numb... really pathethic... I'm not a cool guy, but I've always been a guy that's in control with everything, in me and around me.

 

Anyways, we'll see what happens... Gonna keep you posted about the ex, the new girl, etc. Thanks again!

[Trep]

Your ex might not be "just being friendly", there's a good chance she will try and keep you on the back burner. Basically, she wants to have her cake and eat it to. She wants to have fun with the new, older guy until they eventually break up (which they no doubt will with the age difference and her immaturity) and chances are she will come running back to you and expect everything to go back to the way it was.

[Sandy99]

This sounds like a really painful situation. Long distance relationships are awful. Usually at some point one person meets somebody else and the other person feels completely powerless because they are not in the same location. My advice is to just keep doing what you are doing. Try to heal. Your ex is dating the office player and that is probably a roller coaster ride in itself. Eventually she will probably miss the stability of your relationship. But if you ever get back together with her, do not assume that you can live in two different locations and maintain a relationship. In my opinion long distance relationships don't work. They may work for a while, but if the situation is not short term, then eventually problems will happen. Resentment will build up. Long distance relationships can be expensive and are usually unfulfilling. Don't blame yourself. It was most likely the distance that broke you two up.

[Maverick89]

Your ex might not be "just being friendly", there's a good chance she will try and keep you on the back burner. Basically, she wants to have her cake and eat it to. She wants to have fun with the new, older guy until they eventually break up (which they no doubt will with the age difference and her immaturity) and chances are she will come running back to you and expect everything to go back to the way it was.

I seriously doubt she's the kind of person that would do that (Having me on the side). When we broke up she of course told me "I hope life has in store something else for us", right after "I think there is no more magic" and then "you should just move on"...

 

I'm not so sure she's going to break up that soon too... This guy is 10 years older than her, and as I've been told (When I was really obsessed about them), he indeed is a player, he is not the kind of guy to have meaningful relationships and that he would probably break her heart. Now for what my what my biggest fear has become, what if he decides to have a meaningful relation? He's 32, he could be thinking about marriage, what if they get really serious? I think I would die, even if I have been on the moving on process. I don't think I could "survive" something like that...

 

She wasn't immature, at least she didn't strike me as one, and this decision that she took, certainly is not a mature one, but I can't hold that against her... maybe she just decided that she had to be immature in this part of her life and that she hasn't "lived enough". Maybe she is right, maybe we do need to "experience" more in life (even if we said we didn't need to know what it felt to be with another person).

 

Anyways, I've been trying to become a better person... Going to the gym, learning French (my 4th Language), I'm planning on doing some additional studies in a renowned university around here, working very hard and trying to enjoy everything... Lately I've been kinda like 'Yes Man'... I get invited to any plan and I always say yes... when before I was more like a laid back guy and I didn't have a problem in staying in. Anyways, let's see what happens, thanks for the advice and time to read about my situation.

[Maverick89]

This sounds like a really painful situation. Long distance relationships are awful. Usually at some point one person meets somebody else and the other person feels completely powerless because they are not in the same location. My advice is to just keep doing what you are doing. Try to heal. Your ex is dating the office player and that is probably a roller coaster ride in itself. Eventually she will probably miss the stability of your relationship. But if you ever get back together with her, do not assume that you can live in two different locations and maintain a relationship. In my opinion long distance relationships don't work. They may work for a while, but if the situation is not short term, then eventually problems will happen. Resentment will build up. Long distance relationships can be expensive and are usually unfulfilling. Don't blame yourself. It was most likely the distance that broke you two up.

I think that's the best word to describe myself, a couple of months ago... 'powerless'.

I know long distance relationships are very hard and that's why we had the "plan" to be only like that for 8 months, then problems with her thesis came up and it got postponed. Initially it was going to be in March 2014, but now it's for June 2014.

 

I know she got desperate and took the decision after thinking it, and she didn't even gave me the chance to try and move back and not be in long distance for that period of time. She simply let go and didn't see another way out, plus, she felt the need to discover something else. I know her, I know she felt really infatuated and really liked this guy... This guy told her compliments at the office, hit on her... all things new to her, since I was with her almost all the time and I was the one that gave her compliments and hit on her (even after 5 and a half years). I was the guy that fulfilled that need of hers, and me being away, she felt the need of that and that this guy fulfilled it.

 

It really has been a painful situation... people tell me you can't die out of heartbreak... but it sure as hell seems like you're going to. I'm not assuming that if we're going to get back together, it's going to be long distance... I had plans on moving into an apartment with her, moving her in with me, moving her from our country into a new one and start a life by ourselves.

 

I don't really know what I would do if she decided to come back. I have found that I've been thinking more in other stuff, work, this new "fling" that I'm having, life projects, etc. But I think that nothing would make me happier than hearing her regretting the decision of letting me go. I mean... it would be a huge ego boost, not having to second guess myself as a boyfriend and our relationship, because she broke up with me out of the blue and I thought our relationship was special. I know that it's not very common, but it does happen that you stay with one person for the rest of your life and I think that's very romantic.

 

Or at least I thought so. Sometimes I have second thoughts about the whole Love/Romance aspect in life, sometimes I have second thoughts about being a good guy... And it's been really hard to do, since I've always considered myself to be a good guy.

 

Anyways, we'll see what happens. As of now, I'm working really hard, staying late, going to the gym, meeting new people, studying a new language, studying new things in college, etc... Trying to keep as busy as I can.

 

Thanks for the advice and time to read my post.