she broke me up coz i transmitted herpes to her..

[edelveis]

Hello everyone.Me and my ex girlfriend met at the city where we both study abroad coz we come from different countries.we started dating and we liked each other so much that we decided to go into a relationship together.she was the 1st girl i ever had sex with but i didnt have the courage to tell her coz i was feeling a bit embarrased and also coz i am enough goodlooking she was thinking that i must have been with many girls.we were together already 3 months when something really bad came out.she had an outbreak of genital herpes,something that she had never had before.so she wanted to talk with me about it.i know that i had oral herpes and she knew it too so we figured out that i had transmitted that to her via oral sex.at 1st before we were sure by the doctor that it was herpes we were both scared for the worst so i had to confess that i was a virgin before her.she didnt take it very well because i lied to her.she was right but i think that she should also come to my seat for a while and understand me a bit.she finally forgave me coz she really wanted me with her as she told and we continued being together.but it was obvious that subqonciously she was blaming me for transmitting the herpes to her and she couldnt get along with that very well..i was feeling so bad but it was both of us fault coz we both knew about it.when the outbreak dissapeared things went great again and we were again havng fun and being such in love again.1 month after coz of an issue with her university she had to move back to her country for 6 months untill she could come back and continue her studies here.so we decided to be together in the long distance relationship coz we both were sure then that we could work it out.and so she left.we always had coulture differences f.e she didnt like texting that much while i liked that and other things like that but in the beginning we had agood stable communication showing each other how much we love and care for each other.after 1 1/2 months i visited her there for 5 days and everything went great.i also met her family and she asked me to make our planns for the summer and her visit to me after one month.and so i left happy and came back.1 week after i came back and while everyhting were going fine she had a second herpes outbreak.even worse this time.she called me at skype so angry talked like blaming me and then we closed with her being still angry.the next few days after that i knew that she was angry with me and i was texting her for goodnight asking her how it is going but she didnt want to talk much.and so i respected that."she needs her time i guess" i though.and so i left her alone for a few days.but she was not texting me even for a goodnight.this situation lasted many days and i also started being a bit angry with her because i knew that having herpes suddnely like that coz of me is reallt bad and i was feeling so bad about it but it wasnt only my fault and we should talk about it and try to help it together not act like that.i was sure that she couldnt face that fact and she was letting that affect her feelings for me.in someway i was sure that she had started hating me.days passed and she started texting me just for goodnight or a small skype chat but everything was changed.no "my love","miss you "or such things.she was really cold.after one month she texted me one morning saying"hi i am here to visit and staying to my friends house.i am sorry for not telling you its just that i was angry with you for the herpes thing.wanna meet today ?" when i read it i got so angry but i decided to meet her.we met and she told me that this herpes things has affected her so much and she cant believe me.she even told me that paranoid or not she doubts that i were a virgin before her and that i told that for not to take the blame coz she was finally thinking that i might had genital herpes!!!that was so unfair for me..nobody is joking with things like that and i would never lie for something like that.i am a grown up man and i know to take responsibility of my acts.she told me that her feeling for me have loosen and that experience with herpes made her not to want t have sex anymore.i tried to change her mind coz i really love her telling her how much she means to me and how much i need her in my life.i told her to try to forgive me for that and give it a second chance coz i think she is really worthy.to work it out as a couple.she told me that whenever she has an outbreak and i was so far away to talk about it all the bad things of our relationship were coming to her mind and that made her feelings loose.she told me that this is the end but just for now and that she cant make it while we are so far away.i asked her if she is sure but she wasnt.she said that she hopes so and that if we didnt have the distance we would still be together.i told her that its the last time that i try to save our relationship and that i will move on.we decided to remain friends and then we said goodbye.the next morning i saw her at a place where she keeps her things when i went there a few things of her that i had in my flat.we just said hi and i wished her a nice flight.maybe it was my idea but she didnt seem very happy.she left today.the thing si that i love her so much but i know that i have to move on even if i know that she left a window oppen for the future.do you guys think that she is worthy?do you think that the way she letted her feelings for me loose coz of the herpes is something normal or she acted immature and selfish?i know that one day she will understand but i hope not to be too late..i love her so much but i guess i have to move on for now..

 

ps its my first thread here so forgive my writting..

[Michael Johnson]

Hello everyone.Me and my ex girlfriend met at the city where we both study abroad coz we come from different countries.we started dating and we liked each other so much that we decided to go into a relationship together.she was the 1st girl i ever had sex with but i didnt have the courage to tell her coz i was feeling a bit embarrased and also coz i am enough goodlooking she was thinking that i must have been with many girls.we were together already 3 months when something really bad came out.she had an outbreak of genital herpes,something that she had never had before.so she wanted to talk with me about it.i know that i had oral herpes and she knew it too so we figured out that i had transmitted that to her via oral sex.at 1st before we were sure by the doctor that it was herpes we were both scared for the worst so i had to confess that i was a virgin before her.she didnt take it very well because i lied to her.she was right but i think that she should also come to my seat for a while and understand me a bit.she finally forgave me coz she really wanted me with her as she told and we continued being together.but it was obvious that subqonciously she was blaming me for transmitting the herpes to her and she couldnt get along with that very well..i was feeling so bad but it was both of us fault coz we both knew about it.when the outbreak dissapeared things went great again and we were again havng fun and being such in love again.1 month after coz of an issue with her university she had to move back to her country for 6 months untill she could come back and continue her studies here.so we decided to be together in the long distance relationship coz we both were sure then that we could work it out.and so she left.we always had coulture differences f.e she didnt like texting that much while i liked that and other things like that but in the beginning we had agood stable communication showing each other how much we love and care for each other.after 1 1/2 months i visited her there for 5 days and everything went great.i also met her family and she asked me to make our planns for the summer and her visit to me after one month.and so i left happy and came back.1 week after i came back and while everyhting were going fine she had a second herpes outbreak.even worse this time.she called me at skype so angry talked like blaming me and then we closed with her being still angry.the next few days after that i knew that she was angry with me and i was texting her for goodnight asking her how it is going but she didnt want to talk much.and so i respected that."she needs her time i guess" i though.and so i left her alone for a few days.but she was not texting me even for a goodnight.this situation lasted many days and i also started being a bit angry with her because i knew that having herpes suddnely like that coz of me is reallt bad and i was feeling so bad about it but it wasnt only my fault and we should talk about it and try to help it together not act like that.i was sure that she couldnt face that fact and she was letting that affect her feelings for me.in someway i was sure that she had started hating me.days passed and she started texting me just for goodnight or a small skype chat but everything was changed.no "my love","miss you "or such things.she was really cold.after one month she texted me one morning saying"hi i am here to visit and staying to my friends house.i am sorry for not telling you its just that i was angry with you for the herpes thing.wanna meet today ?" when i read it i got so angry but i decided to meet her.we met and she told me that this herpes things has affected her so much and she cant believe me.she even told me that paranoid or not she doubts that i were a virgin before her and that i told that for not to take the blame coz she was finally thinking that i might had genital herpes!!!that was so unfair for me..nobody is joking with things like that and i would never lie for something like that.i am a grown up man and i know to take responsibility of my acts.she told me that her feeling for me have loosen and that experience with herpes made her not to want t have sex anymore.i tried to change her mind coz i really love her telling her how much she means to me and how much i need her in my life.i told her to try to forgive me for that and give it a second chance coz i think she is really worthy.to work it out as a couple.she told me that whenever she has an outbreak and i was so far away to talk about it all the bad things of our relationship were coming to her mind and that made her feelings loose.she told me that this is the end but just for now and that she cant make it while we are so far away.i asked her if she is sure but she wasnt.she said that she hopes so and that if we didnt have the distance we would still be together.i told her that its the last time that i try to save our relationship and that i will move on.we decided to remain friends and then we said goodbye.the next morning i saw her at a place where she keeps her things when i went there a few things of her that i had in my flat.we just said hi and i wished her a nice flight.maybe it was my idea but she didnt seem very happy.she left today.the thing si that i love her so much but i know that i have to move on even if i know that she left a window oppen for the future.do you guys think that she is worthy?do you think that the way she letted her feelings for me loose coz of the herpes is something normal or she acted immature and selfish?i know that one day she will understand but i hope not to be too late..i love her so much but i guess i have to move on for now..

 

ps its my first thread here so forgive my writting..

 

Try to break your paragraphs up into small sections. Makes it easier to read, sir.

 

I think you should let her process everything before contacting her as it's obvious she doesn't feel like talking to you and is understandably upset and still in shock. Give her a lot of space.

[edelveis]

yeah i ll surely do next time.forgive my large message.i ll surely give her a lot of space.i am going to see her again in 5 months so i hopr the time to be enough.so u think that her action is understandable right ?

[Michael Johnson]

yeah i ll surely do next time.forgive my large message.i ll surely give her a lot of space.i am going to see her again in 5 months so i hopr the time to be enough.so u think that her action is understandable right ?

 

Well considering she was lied to and she has a disease she cannot get rid of, I think her decision is okay. For now I wouldn't worry about the relationship. Let her take care of herself for now. I'm sure she has a family to help support her, right?

[threebyfate]

It was an impossible read so I barely scanned it. But from what I gathered from my quick scan, she's blaming you for giving her genital herpes when you have oral herpes.

 

Since you were a virgin prior to making out with her, have your herpes tested for what type. Most often, oral herpes is HSV1 and genital herpes is HSV2, although they can be transmitted to alternate locations. Also, have her get tested.

 

If both are different types of herpes, then she contracted it from someone else whether prior to you or not.

[edelveis]

michael johnson:well yeah she has a family and a sister with whom she lives together while she is back home.but u know its not a disease like aids or syphillus or such thins.its very bad to have it and also the way she got it but u think its normal letting that win her feelings for me?i am dissapointed and devastated.if she wanted me i would be by her side for everything..

threebyfate:i am sorry man for my big thread.but yeah u understood well.i have been tested for oral herpes.its the type 1 and she told me that she most like has the type 2.is it possible to have been transmitted by me via oral sex then?i have started having doubts about that.

[threebyfate]

It's possible to transmit HSV1 to the genitals and HSV2 to the mouth. But it's less likely the case, particularly if she's stating she's got HSV2.

 

As a way to definitively confirm, don't tell her which one you have. Just express concern about her issues and tell her to have the test to make sure she does have HSV2 and not an entirely different type of STI which might be treatable.

 

Bear in mind that some strains of an STI called HPV can bear genital warts and are often mistaken for HSV. The strains of HPV that manifest in genital warts aren't a big deal. It's the other strains of HPV that don't show any superficial signs that are more concerning.

 

Hopefully, when you had sex with her, you wore condoms. Even so, if I were you, I'd get tested for all STIs, although there's no approved testing for men for HPV.

[edelveis]

threebyfate:she thinks that she has the type 2.the doctor she visited told her that its herpes they just have to find out the type.hpv is dangerous ?or the the sti's?dont u think that if i contact her for that shell think that i am trying to look innocent as a tactic to get her back ?i just want to help her in that not use it to have her back.

[threebyfate]

You can't help her if she has herpes since it's for life. But you should confirm with her which type she has so you too can get tested for it. As well, she's placing blame where it might not belong which could change her attitude towards you if it's found that you're not the person who gave it to her. It might be helpful to her in future, to be more careful when engaging in sexual relations.

[edelveis]

if we suppose that i have the oral type 1 and she the genital type 2 its still possible t have been transmitted by me.how can be proved that she didnt take it from me?

[threebyfate]

HSV1 and HSV2 are completely different strains of the same disease. They're immutable or in other words, they can't change into the other kind, although they can manifest in each other's preferred location.

[edelveis]

so in simple words if i have type 1 its impossible t have transmitted type 2 right ?i want to thank you very much for your help!

[threebyfate]

so in simple words if i have type 1 its impossible t have transmitted type 2 right ?i want to thank you very much for your help!

Exactly. And you're welcome.

[69ways]

Hello everyone.Me and my ex girlfriend met at the city where we both study abroad coz we come from different countries.we started dating and we liked each other so much that we decided to go into a relationship together.she was the 1st girl i ever had sex with but i didnt have the courage to tell her coz i was feeling a bit embarrased and also coz i am enough goodlooking she was thinking that i must have been with many girls.we were together already 3 months when something really bad came out.she had an outbreak of genital herpes,something that she had never had before.so she wanted to talk with me about it.i know that i had oral herpes and she knew it too so we figured out that i had transmitted that to her via oral sex.at 1st before we were sure by the doctor that it was herpes we were both scared for the worst so i had to confess that i was a virgin before her.she didnt take it very well because i lied to her.she was right but i think that she should also come to my seat for a while and understand me a bit.she finally forgave me coz she really wanted me with her as she told and we continued being together.but it was obvious that subqonciously she was blaming me for transmitting the herpes to her and she couldnt get along with that very well..i was feeling so bad but it was both of us fault coz we both knew about it.when the outbreak dissapeared things went great again and we were again havng fun and being such in love again.1 month after coz of an issue with her university she had to move back to her country for 6 months untill she could come back and continue her studies here.so we decided to be together in the long distance relationship coz we both were sure then that we could work it out.and so she left.we always had coulture differences f.e she didnt like texting that much while i liked that and other things like that but in the beginning we had agood stable communication showing each other how much we love and care for each other.after 1 1/2 months i visited her there for 5 days and everything went great.i also met her family and she asked me to make our planns for the summer and her visit to me after one month.and so i left happy and came back.1 week after i came back and while everyhting were going fine she had a second herpes outbreak.even worse this time.she called me at skype so angry talked like blaming me and then we closed with her being still angry.the next few days after that i knew that she was angry with me and i was texting her for goodnight asking her how it is going but she didnt want to talk much.and so i respected that."she needs her time i guess" i though.and so i left her alone for a few days.but she was not texting me even for a goodnight.this situation lasted many days and i also started being a bit angry with her because i knew that having herpes suddnely like that coz of me is reallt bad and i was feeling so bad about it but it wasnt only my fault and we should talk about it and try to help it together not act like that.i was sure that she couldnt face that fact and she was letting that affect her feelings for me.in someway i was sure that she had started hating me.days passed and she started texting me just for goodnight or a small skype chat but everything was changed.no "my love","miss you "or such things.she was really cold.after one month she texted me one morning saying"hi i am here to visit and staying to my friends house.i am sorry for not telling you its just that i was angry with you for the herpes thing.wanna meet today ?" when i read it i got so angry but i decided to meet her.we met and she told me that this herpes things has affected her so much and she cant believe me.she even told me that paranoid or not she doubts that i were a virgin before her and that i told that for not to take the blame coz she was finally thinking that i might had genital herpes!!!that was so unfair for me..nobody is joking with things like that and i would never lie for something like that.i am a grown up man and i know to take responsibility of my acts.she told me that her feeling for me have loosen and that experience with herpes made her not to want t have sex anymore.i tried to change her mind coz i really love her telling her how much she means to me and how much i need her in my life.i told her to try to forgive me for that and give it a second chance coz i think she is really worthy.to work it out as a couple.she told me that whenever she has an outbreak and i was so far away to talk about it all the bad things of our relationship were coming to her mind and that made her feelings loose.she told me that this is the end but just for now and that she cant make it while we are so far away.i asked her if she is sure but she wasnt.she said that she hopes so and that if we didnt have the distance we would still be together.i told her that its the last time that i try to save our relationship and that i will move on.we decided to remain friends and then we said goodbye.the next morning i saw her at a place where she keeps her things when i went there a few things of her that i had in my flat.we just said hi and i wished her a nice flight.maybe it was my idea but she didnt seem very happy.she left today.the thing si that i love her so much but i know that i have to move on even if i know that she left a window oppen for the future.do you guys think that she is worthy?do you think that the way she letted her feelings for me loose coz of the herpes is something normal or she acted immature and selfish?i know that one day she will understand but i hope not to be too late..i love her so much but i guess i have to move on for now..

 

ps its my first thread here so forgive my writting..

 

I would suggest editing your thread instead of opening the same thread twice in less than 24 hrs, this would give people a better image of what happened and also you , better help from the community

[edelveis]

how can i edit ?

[69ways]

how can i edit ?

 

Not sure if you can edit the thread as a thread but you can quote it and add additional info

[Zabs]

Hey Edel,

 

I was in the same situation as your ex many years ago. My then boyfriend had a small cut in the corner of his mouth (unbeknown to me) and HSV1 was transmitted to my genitals.

 

I was angry at him for many years as I believed that he would have known that he had HSV1 and also that it is not safe to even kiss a person who has an open and active HSV1.

 

Back then, I was prescribed Aciclovir which I had to take twice a day for 3 months. Years on I am almost free from episodes however, much of this is that I am now aware of my individual 'triggers' that precipitate attacks.

 

It should be noted that people with HSV1/HSV2 are not always contagious but certainly if the person with either feels a kind of tingling sensation in either area..if you kiss or have any other form of intimate contact you are taking a risk of transmitting the illness to your partner.

 

I don't think it is relevant to say whether HSV1/HSV2 is either and the virus just lives in the preferred area. However, it is useful in terms of accounting how the illness was transmitted.

 

There is a site on the net which specialises in information and support for people with and partners of HSV. There it highlights the ways the illness can be transmitted. It would be worth your while to have a look.

 

Much love,

 

 

Zabs xx:cool:

[ohmygoshistalk]

guys i dont want to sound like a lunatic but u can possibly get this by sitting on somewhere dirty sharing towels or soaps...

 

i dont want to go on but it happened to my friend virgin but got hpv from those towels and **** or soap.

 

no sense doing the blame game now.

 

if she was really a virgin did she bleed during sex..im sure u can feel the hymen etc.

[Chi townD]

if we suppose that i have the oral type 1 and she the genital type 2 its still possible t have been transmitted by me.how can be proved that she didnt take it from me?

 

 

Yeah, HPV 1 and HPV 2 are entirely two different virues strands. She has gential herpes....you had a cold sore. Doesn't work that way.

 

She was probably mad at finding out that you were a virgin because she couldn't blame it on you!

[leoc1973]

This is funny because its how my brother found out his girlfriend cheated on him. She blamed him and after he insisted they get tested they found out that he had HSV1 and she had HSV2. I believe the HSV1 can show up on the genitals but its still not the same thing.

 

Also I read somewhere that 90% of people have some form of the virus but 70% of them never have an outbreak. They are carriers. I think it said males have a better chance of not having a second outbreak and females have more of a chance.

 

Do some research on this man I think she is trying to blame something on you that is not your fault. And as far as her hymen. I think there are lots of ways for a girl to break it before sex so it is not necessarily true that if she doesn't bleed she wasn't a virgin. I would suppose she could have broken it with a sex toy or tampon or bicycle seat. LOL wow now I am feeling like a 14 year old that doesn't know as much as I thought I did.

 

The herpes thing I am pretty certain though. Find out what strain each of you have and find out if its even herpes. I mean its not likely but she could just be raw from too much friction.

[edelveis]

thank you all very much for your messages guys.well she wasnt virgin.i was the only virgin one.leoc1973 did your brother's ex gf asked him to brake up coz of that ?zabs :do u still "hate" this guy ?you broke up only coz of that ?did you ever understood him ?also can the virus be transmitted without having a cold sore?just by the saliva ?

[edelveis]

and zabs one last things..u had genital type 2 and he had oral type 1?

[Zabs]

I think that there are people on this thread that really don't know what they are talking about and you should really refer to an accurate source. Putting it plainly, Simplex is simplex it doesn't matter if it is 1 or 2..it is just as contagious. It matters not wherethe original location was. Either Simplex can transmit to other areas of the body..would it surprise you to know it can also suffered in the eyes?? Take no chances and ensure you do not put anyone else at risk as there is much stigma associated with it. Shingles and chicken pox are from the same family also..check that out too..everything. is confidential so there is no need to worry..but once you have ut thats that. My ex had dimpled one he performed oral sex on me..a day or two later I had blisters all around outsides if my genitals and inside my cervix!

 

Much love

Zabs xx

[edelveis]

zabs thank you very mych for your help and understanding.u are someone accurate about it and someone who can give answers i guess.i have one big doubt.i never had an outbreak or cold sore or whatever while performing oral sex to her.i never had any during the time of our relationship either.is it possoble to have transmitted the virus in that way ?yer or no?as you ve understood i have taken fully responsibility for whats happening to her and i hope at least to be the right thing and not to be a mistake.

[edelveis]

and also i perfomed oral sex to her many times after the 1st week of our relationship..but the outbreak came 2 months after..pay also attention to that