LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

I didn't even see it coming


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 23rd December 2008, 9:43 PM   #1
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
I didn't even see it coming

I was dating this girl for the past month, we were really happy, both of us were, but a week ago today, she dumped me, after telling me she loved me the day before. we never even fought, we had just had a great date less than a week earlier, then i went home for winter break from college, and I thought both of us were so happy and in love. I had just gotten her a christmas present, and then a week ago she TEXTED me that she didn't feel it was god's plan for us to be together, even though she still loved me. I cant understand why she feels this way, she never really explained why she felt it wasn't god's plan for us to be together, and never has, but she told me she needed to marry a pastor, which threw me for a loop. I just can't deal with it, one day I meant the world to her, the next she doesn't want anything to do with me. She broke my heart, and I can't stand the thought of her being happy right now, but I know she must be. I wan't to think that she just had doubts and wanted to pin it on God so I would'nt argue with her, but I couldn't let her go that easy so I did, I tried to get her to think about it and give us another shot, but she wouldn't even consider it. I just thought she loved me, but she is willing to throw away everything we had on a whim, wether from god or no. The girl I feel in love with wasn't this rash, this isn't the girl I feel in love with.
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 9:53 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 607
You fell in love in a month? WHAT?

My friend that's not love.
DSM-IV Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 9:56 PM   #3
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
I know

I know how I fell, thanks. but I don't necessarily know if it was real full strength love, but as terrible as I felt after she ended it, I don't know...but it was the most I ever cared about a person, it just still hurts. What hurt me the most was the unexpectedness of it all, I thought we could go further.

Last edited by hoartiosans; 23rd December 2008 at 10:02 PM..
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:06 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 607
Did you meet her at church by chance?
DSM-IV Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:10 PM   #5
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
No

No, actually her church had some by-law where she wasn't even supposed to date outside her denomination. Honestly I thought this might be a problem all along, I even considered ending it, but I couldn't I cared about her too much.
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:12 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 607
So you did nothing wrong? She seriously just said out of nowhere for seemingly no reason that God didn't think you two were meant to be?

That's some weird **** brother I think you may have just dodged a BIG bullet. Like not a 9mm bullet.. a freaking like tank machine gun bullet.
DSM-IV Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:17 PM   #7
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
I've thought that myself.

No I didn't do anything to her. I had actually just bought her a christmas present, she knew that too. our first real fight came after we broke up, like when I was trying to change her mind.

Last edited by hoartiosans; 23rd December 2008 at 10:20 PM..
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:20 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 627
Dude.. its only been a month that you were seeing her ... come on man........try spending close to 16 years with a woman and have her dump you...... You wil get over this as soon as the next skirt walks by and smiles at you.... you will be fine... hang with your buds and keep your eyes open.... some skirt will be checking you out before you know it...
skinman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd December 2008, 10:22 PM   #9
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
Thanks...

Quote:
Originally Posted by skinman View Post
Dude.. its only been a month that you were seeing her ... come on man........try spending close to 16 years with a woman and have her dump you...
I know that...I didn't say I was worse off than anyone else. But thanks for the advice.
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 10:21 AM   #10
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
Im starting to think she met someone, because after some prodding she told me she needed to be with a minister, which I was like...okay...It killed me to think I wasn't good enough. But I put some of what she said together, and maybe im crazy here, but the way she didn't feel it was god's plan for us to be together...she had to have a reason to feel that way, and feelings for another guy makes sense, and the way she dumped me so quickly, like she wanted to get out of it as soon as possible...I just think maybe a guy with minister potential cropped up and she wanted to lock it down, regardless of how I felt, or even the way she felt about me.
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 10:39 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 82
Dont analyse things, it won't help. The cold hard truth is that she just doesn't want to be with you, that's all there is to it. Look at it as her loss, not your's.

And in 99% of breakups the dumpee doesn't see it coming. Though I'm not sure dating someone for a month and then things going no further counts as a breakup, but it's understanable you feeling hurt.
FF84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 10:43 AM   #12
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
I know, it's only a month and I know I'm probably stupid to feel this hurt, but things were going so well, I thought we were going forward, and it was like my legs got clipped out from under me...it just sucks, I cared about her so much, and I thought she felt the same. And I know I've got nothing on some of the people here, but she was still important to me, and I'm still hurt.

Last edited by hoartiosans; 24th December 2008 at 10:53 AM..
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 1:00 PM   #13
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
Most of you probably don't understand why I feel this way after only a month...honestly I don't either, I wish I didn't. I hate her for this...
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 1:22 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 607
Man I am religious but what's all this talk of ministers and God and all this and that? That's some bs right there. She needs to get her head out of the bible.

I go to church every week and I think this girls a freaking nut bag.
DSM-IV Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th December 2008, 3:24 PM   #15
Established Member
 
hoartiosans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 119
I think she has some fantasy she can't let go of. I thought she might be like this when I first met her, but never saw it, I've known her since august and never she never acted like this before. I mean she was always religious, but this is ridiculous.
hoartiosans is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
its all coming out now blindsidedheartbreak Breaks and Breaking Up 3 24th July 2008 10:36 PM
Coming to and end. last_remaining_light Friendship 3 9th August 2006 5:28 PM
Coming or going?! jmars Second Chances 12 18th July 2006 12:52 AM
didn't see this coming amgine The Other Man / Woman 2 2nd June 2006 3:13 PM
Didn't see that coming :) jp79 General Relationship Discussion 7 22nd April 2005 12:25 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:15 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.