My spouse and I have been married for 23 years. About 9 years ago she had an affair. I filled for a divorce but I stopped it and reconciled after work shops and counseling. 

The past few months my wife has been giving oral a lot more before sex. For some reason she tells me , “you know that affair was only oral sex”. In my mind I’m like, why are you telling me this, and I just brushed it off by saying, “ah ok”. A month or so later on vacation I praised her on the excellent session with the BJ and that was by far the best ever. So she replies , “I have a confession “ I’m like ok what is it. She basically says she learned how to give great oral sex from the guy she had the affair with. I’m like, did you really feel or thought that I wanted to hear this confession, like what in the heck you thought I’d gain from this information. Couldn’t you have just accepted the praise I gave you and not credit the guy you had an affair with, SMH. So now, I’m visualizing her giving oral to this other guy while she giving it to me. This information has resurfaced old wounds. All insight and/or opinions are welcomed, thanks.