There were signs I should have caught right away even when we were engaged. All the phone calls from "old girl friends". He was a public figure, a good catch, the old GFs annoyed me slightly but....we met and became engaged quickly. They couldn't know he was no longer available right? Besides, he persued me, he adored me. I was indifferent and then...I was crazy about him.

During the first year of our marriage I really wanted to know who he was texting all day and IMing all evening. We both were involved in the same profession, both worked non stop, both communicating constantly....but I worked with him and knew it was too much. I discovered him texting and IMing random women he met on line and old girlfriends. I was furious. If this is what he wanted why did he let me completely change my own and my daughters life to be with him?

He begged, cried, we went to MC. I realized that like many people in his field...he wasn't just comfortable with attention...he required it. We reconciled, I was happy.

But I never completely trusted him or my judgement after that. And I felt bad about it.

I communicated with him whenever I felt uncomfortable or insecure. He shared all of his accounts and passwords. We bought homes, we traveled, our careers flourished. We were tight, we were a great team, I loved him. Whenever I questioned any of his activities or communications...he made me realize I was still being insecure and paranoid. He understood that, and was patient with me.

Two years later I found out that he had a secret phone, a secret car, a secret laptop, and a standing hotel room in a city 2 hours away. He was a serial cheater.

I woke him up in our bed and stuffed a handful of feces in his mouth.

We did not reconcile. I'll be divorced 2 years this month.

I am still recovering.