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Triangulation part three


betterdeal

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Okay, so I heard back from him but not her. He was dismissive and evasive. First comparing what I said to him with what I said to another mutual friend, then saying I was just trying to lose friends and that everyone needs friends.

 

This guy has no friends in this town. He's lived here for 4 years, commuted to London, and been a problem drunk for most of it.

 

I agreed to meet up with him tomorrow. I'm not happy with the situation at all. I'll give him a chance, but I won't give him the ground he's looking for.

 

Now that he has what he tagged onto me for - a woman - he wants to have me cornered as his friend, not hers. Nice and cosy, no? We've been here before, with other women, who I make the effort to go out and meet and who then decide to get it on with him, he does his Captain Caveman routine, I become distant from her, and I'm assumed to be his friend, lose another friend, and so the cycle continues.

 

I'm pissed off with people telling me who my friends are. I have a say in the matter. I'm also not happy with being his surrogate when he's single, being cornered into being his back up company when he's in a couple, or for women to be co-opting me in to fill the emotional deficit that they have with this guy.

 

I've been here before. Several times, with different women and men. All the men I met at Oxford (they studied there, I didn't) and whilst they are all academically bright, they're all emotional cowards and have used my gregarious, outgoing nature to find women / drugs / parties etc, then as soon as they have what they want, they get vicious with me. It's like they ride on my coattails then snap at my heels.

 

The progress I've made this time is in saying "no" to being part of the triangle. I don't fancy this woman, if you're wondering about that (I have asked myself this). Too old to have children and I do want to have children. Also, just not my type, romantically. Has a heart of gold, but has done things that get on my goat, such as interfering in my love life, being nosy and judgmental.

 

Both were rude to my house-mates.

 

Hmm. I feel calmer now. I was pretty upset and angry about this yesterday and this morning. I have a lot less need for this friendship than he does, IMO.

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