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Triangulation


betterdeal

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Meh. So friends of mine, both of whom I have been close to, who became a couple and returned from a year abroad have been getting on my wick. When they got back, there was tension.

 

I felt nervous and was stand offish, she was quite clingy and attempting to make conspirational jokes about him with me, he was making snide remarks at me.

 

Roll on a month later, and we met up again last night, with other friends. I was still stand offish with her, she became more insistent, he was not aggressive at all.

 

The other friends left, we three went for a meal. Then it occurred to me what was happening: she wanted things to go back to how they were before they went abroad, wherein it was us three hanging out. I recall at one point back then she even said she didn't like it when Mary (another mutual friend) started hanging out with us. He was not happy with this triangulation idea and was taking it out on me.

 

I've been here before. I meet girls, become friends, become emotionally close, they get it on with a male friend of mine, a triangle is formed, both men feel frustrated and fight amongst themselves, woman feels special, their relationship is stunted, friendships are tested.

 

This time tho, I know what I want. I don't want to be part of a superficially stable triangle. I want him to discuss his concerns about her behaviour with her. I want her to be a friend and accept that I do not want to be part of a threesome, harem, whatever. I want to not be having to deal with jealousy and control issues when I next meet someone I connect with and see a future with, or even when I meet someone I see an in-between relationship with. I want to have fun, not be part of this unhappy set up.

 

So, next time we meet I will discuss this with them. Ah, its good to know what I want and don't want.

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