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Feeling unattractiveafter operations for cancer


ATW1953

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Five years ago I had my first of two radical operations for throat cancer, the second was two years two months after. Although I have been so very lucky to still be here and because i really have healed remarkably well, I now feel destined to never find love again. My neck is the give away to anyone that i have had surgery and my smile is no longer as it was. I am very lucky not to have lost my tongue and voicebox asa was at first thought I might but my speech (although quite strong) is not as it was so I am self concious about talking to people I don't know.

 

The other think is, I am now not able to eat/drink as all the radiotherapy has damaged my swallow mechanism so I am fed by a tube in my stomach. All this together is the reason I now don't feel attractive and would avoid attempting to chat to a female even if I was very attracted to her. Don't feel it helps now that I am 57 years of age. It is said that after 55 men become invisible to women so I would like to ask any women out there if they agree with this?

 

The thought (and I feel much more likely) never to love again is making me step back from socialising and after 5 years living alone I am starting to feel the sadness of lonliness.

 

I signed up to LoveShack to put how i am feeling out there just to see if anyone else is going through similar feelings?

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Do not give up on love, or most of all on yourself!

 

I am happy to hear you're a survivor! You're a strong person who went through hell and back, for that you should be proud.

 

Be you. Honestly if a woman can't handle the scars, and a feeding tube then keep in mind there are other fish in the sea.

 

As for your worries about women not looking at a man after the age of 55? Not sure. Many women see older gentlemen as just that, gentlemen. Mature, honest and don't play games.

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But what you have been through, and the way in which you have chosen to handle it, actually shows that you have A LOT to offer people! You have tremendous stremgth of character, to be able to go through a lot, and come out of it like you have; grateful to be alive and not complaining about anything.

 

Not being able to eat and having scars from opperations dos not make you a less desirable person, in any which way you look at it; how does any of those things make you any less intelligent, funny, intersting and generous?

 

Ultimately, the decent people out there like to hang out with people who are nice, funny, and have good qualities, that make them enjoyable to be around.

 

Lastly, my great uncle is 85 and his wife of over 60 years died recently and he has even dated and seen women again! There is hope for you.

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