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Should I ask this salesperson out? and how?


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Old 28th March 2019, 6:23 PM   #1
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Should I ask this salesperson out? and how?

Well, here's 'something different' from me - a possible 'organic' meeting

Background: this woman works in a local non-chain burger joint that I frequently eat at, often with my son. I think she's the manager. She's always been friendly and a bit of a tease. Today I was the last person on the order line and she asked a 'personal' question about how my new job is going. The conversation continued - we talked about the local economy in nearby cities and she shared a couple of details about her background and what her father had done for a living. Nothing 'that' personal, just more than typical customer chat, starting from when she asked about my job.

First question: how do I 'read' this? Is she just being a good 'counter person'? Or flirting? Or fishing for me to ask her out?

Second question: assuming I'd like to ask her out (I do if 'we' conclude she's fishing) what is a good tactic? I don't want to put her on the spot if she's just being friendly to a regular customer.

This is 'different' for me. I'd be stepping out of my OLD/speed-dating 'comfort zone' which has the HUGE advantage of allowing me to assume that the women I encounter are trying to meet men.

Last edited by nospam99; 28th March 2019 at 6:27 PM..
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Old 28th March 2019, 6:31 PM   #2
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Did you notice if she was wearing a ring or not? Is she in your general age group?
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Old 28th March 2019, 6:43 PM   #3
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As you are a "regular" she may just be getting to know you a bit better to make sure you keep coming back, or she is a friendly type who likes to know a lot about her customers...
Fast food I guess is pretty soul destroying, so getting to know people probably makes it a lot more interesting for her.
Service people are paid to "chat up" customers, but why not?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Old 28th March 2019, 6:45 PM   #4
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@CO I didn't check today. In the past I think I looked for a ring and didn't see one. But it's a burger joint and she handles food. So she may not want to wear a ring at work

Age group? Hmmmm. Part of the conversation today related to hair color. I'm silver-grey. I had joked that the local major employer (from whom I'm retired after many years) doesn't like grey hair. The joke is about laying off senior employees and replacing them with younger people. She responded that she gets around 'that' (hinting that she's grey AND sharing a personal detail) by dying her own hair. Aside from that hint, hard to tell. As I'm mentioned in many previous posts, I don't look my age. And she doesn't look MY age either. Then again, many of the women I've met via OLD are well-preserved and don't look their age. This woman could be as young as a 'worn' 30-something or as old as me. My not-so-educated guess is low to mid 50s.
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Old 28th March 2019, 7:10 PM   #5
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nospam just ask her out to a competing burger joint (haha). she'll probably get a laugh. if she says yes then you are good to go. if she says no you better find a new place for lunch
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Old 28th March 2019, 7:13 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nospam99 View Post
@CO I didn't check today. In the past I think I looked for a ring and didn't see one. But it's a burger joint and she handles food. So she may not want to wear a ring at work

Age group? Hmmmm. Part of the conversation today related to hair color. I'm silver-grey. I had joked that the local major employer (from whom I'm retired after many years) doesn't like grey hair. The joke is about laying off senior employees and replacing them with younger people. She responded that she gets around 'that' (hinting that she's grey AND sharing a personal detail) by dying her own hair. Aside from that hint, hard to tell. As I'm mentioned in many previous posts, I don't look my age. And she doesn't look MY age either. Then again, many of the women I've met via OLD are well-preserved and don't look their age. This woman could be as young as a 'worn' 30-something or as old as me. My not-so-educated guess is low to mid 50s.
I say go in again right before the weather is going to be good (i.e. before this weekend....supposed to be nice here in Philly anyway)....make a comment about the nice weather coming up and how you're looking forward to getting out to hike....see if she offers any clue to what she's doing and who she's doing it with.....
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Old 28th March 2019, 10:28 PM   #7
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You need more info before asking her out (if you still want to go back there without feeling awkward)
Ask her where she's from. (very innocent). Then steer it towards asking if she has family living in town/ in the state. Then that leads to the topic of whether or not she's married and where her kids are.
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Old 29th March 2019, 1:50 AM   #8
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Funny, now nothing negative on your sitch , just sayin. But it reminds me of this thing with the chick up in my hamburger joint back when.
But in my case l just could not for the life of me decide if l liked her enough and her looks.
l had no doubt she was a special girl and personality , but but but.
lt went on for 6mths, and l still couldn't decide, which of course means forget it.
l saw her again a few weeks back first time in a long long while.
Well l'm with someone these days anyway but she still seemed as nice as ever , thing was though she'd aged about 10 15 yrs, couldn't believe it.

So l was kinda glad l never could quite decide back when .

Last edited by chillii; 29th March 2019 at 1:53 AM..
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Old 29th March 2019, 1:31 PM   #9
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I had a vaguely similar experience recently at a cafe I frequent quite often. Spent oh about 10-15 minutes just chitchatting with the server, who I've always gotten along with, as I drank my coffee. There was nothing to it. He is just a person who enjoys conversing with certain customers. Others he'll take their orders and not say anything except the price/you're welcome/have a nice day.

From the sounds of it you two have engaged in previous rounds of what's called "small talk" (nothing personal about the economy).
  • There may be nothing to it - you say she's friendly & a tease, a generally good personality for customer orientated fields (no one really likes sourpuss expressions/attitudes).
  • There may be something to it - has she, as example, ever engaged you beyond the role of taking your order (e.g. walking about the store & stops to say hi/brief chitchat).
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Old 30th March 2019, 3:19 PM   #10
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It sounds to me that she is merely being nice to you. Part of her job. I question whether it is anything more.


You could ask her in a 'what if' hypothetical way, like I'd ask you to----with me- if you were not so busy working, or if you were my age. A half-hearted less risk way of asking.
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