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Am I not as good looking/attractive as I thought?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 10th March 2019, 12:59 PM   #1
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Am I not as good looking/attractive as I thought?

Guys look at/stare, try to talk to, and ask for any girls number but how does one know if they are very good looking. The reason why I ask this is because although when i'm out i get stared at, complimented on my appearance etc idk if it's truly the case. The couple instances that made me doubt this is a guy at the gym that had my number texted me that evening we had overall discussion then he said he'd train with me and give tips and that he'd let me know when and didn't and when I saw him at the gym we said hi etc, then one night texted me at midnight where I got upset he said it was the wrong text that person had same name.

Then following that saw him at the gym, he also tried to come to my yoga class, he was smiling and talking to me which I've read means a guy likes you but if he truly found me good looking there wouldn't be the questions. Or a guy that asked for my messenger from a dating site(where I didn't my photos) didn't text making me think he saw my profile pic on the messenger and didn't like it.

The other day a guy at the mall who was staring at me like i said, working at a booth approached me then started talking to me, telling me his life story. Asked for my instagram, i gave it(although I wasn't interested). He texted me saying he enjoyed the conversation and how we should go get Armenian food. I said "yeah when I can catch my breath" he said why i took your breath away with my good looks? then said "you're really beautiful/attractive and we'd have a great time together(not sure if he's referring to food or more here) so being uninterested I blocked him.

Another guy i saw in a cafe where I said hi, was looking at me smiling and with his friends talked to us all night(recently got out of serious relationship, asked for my number but let me know that he wasn't looking for a relationship but more like FWB. So if I truly am pretty/beautiful like i've been told throughout my life by strangers and family/friends, I wouldn't have these problems right? So even with the signs of people staring, being nice, complimenting me has made me doubt the genuinely with these past experiences. So can all the complimenting, staring, approaching not mean I'm attractive?
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Old 10th March 2019, 1:13 PM   #2
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Just because you are attractive doesn't buy you a guy that is interested in a relationship, nor does it buy you being put up on a pedestal. Us women have to navigate through all kinds of guys to meet the right one. One may have good intentions, while some don't and that doesn't usually have anything to do with how you look. It's simple, they find you attractive to them, they will try to have contact with you. That's it. The rest is up to you how you work your way through it.
Oh and just because you get a compliment doesn't mean they want to date you. They will do it when they are married, when they have a GF and just do it because they are just giving you a compliment. The proof is in if they ask you out.
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Old 10th March 2019, 1:31 PM   #3
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I don't think you will get "what a guy wants from you" upon first contact. You won't know until it's proven over a bit more time. Why? Because they don't know yet themselves. (honestly you won't know what you want with them either).

I think if guys approach you in general it's probably safe to say that you are attractive (sometimes that is your natural looks, sometimes the way you present yourself--hair, makeup, way you dress, way you carry yourself). I think it's a dual edge sword if you are pretty or overtly sexy because you don't really know the purpose of why they contact you initially. Also they might imagine you as their dream girl in total when it really it based primarily on looks and the reality is that you two may not really be so compatible. So i think you have to take it as an "in". It gets you in the door, opens up more opportunities than it doesn't. It's up to you to sort through those opportunities carefully for what is best for you and what is true/real.
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Old 10th March 2019, 5:14 PM   #4
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lt's kind of like looks , well yeah sure that's great then.
But looks are sort of just the doorway type of thing.
lt make people wanna open that door. So it's a great start , it's better than no one even wanting to open the door right.
But it's what happens after they open that door that determines whether or not they wanna step inside or go further and in what way.
That's when personality comes into play.
Both lead to no where on their own but it's the two together that gets someone wanting to step inside.
So to speak
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