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People have a better shot of love at a forced environment vs looking for someone?


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 28th February 2019, 4:54 PM   #1
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People have a better shot of love at a forced environment vs looking for someone?

Does it seem like people meet and fall in love with someone in a forced environment like work, school when they are in a confined place for long period of time and ďthingsĒ just happen? Movie stars for example Iím sure majority of them meet on set they talk, get close, then they fall in love unexpectedly vs someone going out to the bars, or even dating sites. Nothing good has ever happened to me at a job even in my teen years romantically not then and now. Itís just down to luck right?
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Old 28th February 2019, 5:01 PM   #2
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Affection tends to be born between people who have spent a long time together.

Interaction is how everything starts, and in an environment like work or school where you are often forced to interact or be in close proximity with others, it is naturally much easier for something to happen.

It is a mix of something in between those two.
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Old 28th February 2019, 5:36 PM   #3
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OK, I'm old and have been with the same partner for many years. But going back to my teen years and 20's I've never met and fell in love with someone in work/school. Nor have I ever "looked" for a partner by going to bars etc.

I simply stayed engaged with those around me, attended events and met people through that way. Christmas parties, hobbies, hanging out with a group of friends etc. When a person is young enough to have many single friends and an active social life unhindered by children, simply being social should be enough.
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:11 PM   #4
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I had the best luck at the beach. Met my wife there, in fact.
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:40 PM   #5
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Hmm.i donít have much of a social life, when i did have a semi social life years ago, I would go to parties, mostly the ones when my siblings invited me out, but no body was ever interested in me. I never met anyone at school or even work. Dating sites never worked for me. I donít know, my best bet would be to go to bars/clubs.
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Old 28th February 2019, 6:42 PM   #6
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I met most of my bfs at the record store I worked in or some other music thing. But I didn't work with them all. Still, it's about having something in common. In retail, you may see someone more than once and if there's any interest, cultivate it. Like one I'd heard was the new guitarist for my favorite local band and he came in the store and I took up with him immediately, playing something I knew he'd like.

Another worked doing same type thing I did but for a competitor and met him working at a guitar convention booth. Had things in common, again.

And then met some right there working together as you get to know each other and made a whole lot of friends through doing that. So if you do something you like a lot that puts you in a place where you also have interests in common, then that's a great environment for meeting people you like and getting to know them gradually.

I made next to no money at that particular place, I had been making money in that same line of work in another state but then had to move quickly and take whatever I could get and basically started all over in pay -- but it was the funnest job I ever had nonetheless. Money isn't everything. Made so many friends there and it led to other things eventually.
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Old 1st March 2019, 11:11 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nilfiry View Post
Affection tends to be born between people who have spent a long time together.

Interaction is how everything starts, and in an environment like work or school where you are often forced to interact or be in close proximity with others, it is naturally much easier for something to happen.

It is a mix of something in between those two.
Nailed it. This used to happen to me all the time. Between work and school, I got a ton of dates back in the day. A lot of the time, it's the little details about a person that really wins you over. Those details take some time to see and work or school puts you in close proximity to people for long periods of time. You see things about them you never would see otherwise.
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Old 3rd March 2019, 7:30 AM   #8
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1989 met P Mc at Mcdonalds.
1990 Met TK at School.
1995 dated CS at a catalog store.
2000 met T at Recreational Sport.
2003 NF at Work/JO-Budhist chanting group.
2006-J dating site.
2012-DS dating site. Still in touch with DS.
2013-AK as work restaurant.
2015-T dating site.

These are a mix of Dating/BF-GF relationships.

I do think you have to have that constant environment base. I think that my next GF will come from Work/Gym/Some social venue where I see them over and over again.
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Old 3rd March 2019, 7:34 AM   #9
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When they are more the driving force becoming romantic with me. The relationship lasts longer. If I do the leg work etc. Its short lived at best.

All the women look different and there is no major physical type.

In my mind. I see a woman that is tall and lanky. Frizzy hair and bohemian type. Think Amy Brenamin from Judging Amy. That type. Or Kate Walsh.

I can't imagine a woman that I will go long term coming from me being the pursuer. She has to see me and then take it from there.
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