Picking up dates at the dun dun dun... gym

[Garcon1986]

Hi I know this is fraught with "he's a creep", but I thought I would ask as the worst thing that could happen, is that I get a lot of online bad remarks =p.

 

What are some ways you can successfully pick up dates at the gym without instantly being labeled a creep? I fully realize that women have all the social advantage at this scenario. I've already made one mistake at a free local yoga class, in that I introduced myself to more than one lady at the beginning of the class before it started, and the next time I went, all the ladies disappeared. I was a victim of gossips I think.

 

Thanks again.

[PRW]

It wasn't gossip. You just creeped them out. Hot women get approached by all types, all the time. They are very good at it and know how to deflect and to see right through the way you present yourself.

 

Approach some of the less attractive ones that you are probably not really interested in first. You won't be as nervous, it will build skills, and you'll be less likely to seem creepy when you approach the others. Talking to the other "average" women first, and being accepted by them, will give you credibility to the others

 

Here's a list of YouTube videos dealing with the whole "creepy" thing:

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/coachcoreywayne/search?query=creepy

Edited August 28, 2018 by PRW

[preraph]

I think at the gym, you don't approach women but you see who approaches or is friendly to you and that way you're not trying to get the hottest woman in the gym who isn't interested and thinks you're a creep. Stop watching the hottest women and start looking around to see who's watching you or smiling or saying hi and just be nice and find out about her like a normal hooman bean.

[glows]

Gross, dude. Keep to yourself. I have never had a man approach me at the gym and I was always in a relationship or have been married. Don't be a douche. If you see the one woman that takes your breath away and have been running into each other for eons and know she's single or gives off a vibe like she's interested in meeting people, that's one thing. To actually source your dates at a gym is sleazy and you deserve to shot down EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[clia]

I go to the gym to workout, not to meet men.

 

It's so abundantly obvious when a man walks into a class and starts introducing himself to the women that he's just there to try to meet women. Yuck. Don't do it.

 

The only way I could possibly see this working out is a very, very slow build over time. For example, you see a woman at the gym on a regular basis. At some point, if you see each other often enough, you will recognize each other. Escalate to saying "hello" or nodding your head and smiling to acknowledge her. If the opportunity presents itself naturally, maybe say a few more words about whatever is pertinent. But it cannot be forced and it has to naturally flow from the situation. Possibly if more time passes and she seems open to it, you can talk to her a little more and go from there, possibly leading to asking her out. But this is over time -- months. You don't jump right into introducing yourself and flirting.

[BluBell]

I think at the gym, you don't approach women but you see who approaches or is friendly to you and that way you're not trying to get the hottest woman in the gym who isn't interested and thinks you're a creep. Stop watching the hottest women and start looking around to see who's watching you or smiling or saying hi and just be nice and find out about her like a normal hooman bean.

 

This is the best advice to handle this situation. I think it's okay to meet people at the gym- I have a crush on a guy I work out with and we definitely talk and flirt, and it's not weird. How you approach women is really important. Timing is also important. Lots of men talk to me when I fill up my water bottle and I think that's a pretty safe space- we all know we need to wait in line so it's unassuming.

There's nothing creepy about small talk waiting in line at the water fountain.

 

Making a joke is a good approach. I started things off with the guy I like because we were always using the same weight machines and he'd put a ton of weight on, and I'd always be taking all that weight off right after he used it. Clearly I didn't mind doing this at all, but I made a casual joke about him being too strong for that section of the gym or something.

 

What would be creepy is if it were obvious that you hit on ALL the women at the gym. Remember, we like to feel special...so don't let it be known that you're on the prowl.

[SolG]

I spend roughly an hour at the gym each morning before work, and another 40 odd mins after work if I'm shredding. I can't stand being talked to while I'm working out!

 

I have my goals, my program, and limited time to achieve them. So I find it immensely irritating if anyone interrupts my flow. I am unlikely to be positively predisposed towards interrupters, and apparently I have a 'look' that makes this very apparent to those who try.

 

That minute or two I'm standing around or stretching after a set? I'm resting, rehydrating and refocussing on the next one, not free for approaching. The only interaction that is acceptable to me is a note about technique or something else context congruent. Small talk? Stop wasting my time and get out of my way.

 

I'm open to a quick chat between my car and the entrance (or vice versa) with other regulars, but not once I'm in the gym proper itself.

 

Women will all approach fitness and their time in the gym differently. But for me that time is all mine and I guard it selfishly.

Edited August 28, 2018 by SolG