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What's Holding Me Back From Dating


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 30th January 2018, 12:11 AM   #1
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What's Holding Me Back From Dating

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Last edited by GuitarGuy7; 30th January 2018 at 12:49 AM..
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Old 30th January 2018, 1:00 AM   #2
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GuitarGuy, you've been around long enough to know that online dating is absolutely ruthless.

The girls from your college classes who you approached via Snapchat (has this become an acceptable way to ask for a date??), had you built a friendly rapport with any of them before asking them out? Spending time together in the cafeteria or going out together after school? If so, why didn't you ask for a date in person? On the flipside, if you didn't have a rapport with them, it's highly unlikely they would say "yes".

If I were you, I'd be getting to know women via your social group. Or extra curricular activities.
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Old 30th January 2018, 1:12 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
If I were you, I'd be getting to know women via your social group. Or extra curricular activities.
I like this suggestion... Get out into the Real World and talk to people. I'm sure there are bookstores, coffee houses, a local cafe... whatever.

Like Basil67 stated the extra curricular group activities does sound like your best bet.

I am a guy and I briefly tried OLD and HATED IT!!

I was in a thrift store this weekend, just chatting with a stranger and she was flirting with me. I'm already in a LTR, so I didn't play, but its really that easy!!

Blue skies...
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Old 30th January 2018, 1:34 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
I like this suggestion... Get out into the Real World and talk to people. I'm sure there are bookstores, coffee houses, a local cafe... whatever.

Like Basil67 stated the extra curricular group activities does sound like your best bet.

I am a guy and I briefly tried OLD and HATED IT!!

I was in a thrift store this weekend, just chatting with a stranger and she was flirting with me. I'm already in a LTR, so I didn't play, but its really that easy!!

Blue skies...

This is advice that is trotted out often here but I feel its overly simplistic because it ignores factors such as


1: Chances are if you are dateless you don't have a social group
2: People are generally not friendly towards people they don't know
3: To overcome 2 you need to have charm and some degree of skill
4: If you had 3 chances are you wouldn't have issues dating.


What holds people back is a fear of rejection and failure. Which I think is fine but you can reduce those odds by trying to put people in categories


1: Likely to dislike you
2: Likely to not be interested but perhaps worth trying.
3: Not really what you want but they might like you
4: Totally not what you want


It really depends on how much you are prepared to compromise.
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