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Is our Ideal type real


In Search Of... Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.

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Old 23rd January 2018, 11:50 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
In the serach for love and compananionship. I wonder if our expectations are real?

All I really want is a woman in her late 30's that is childless and wants us to connect romantically. We are on the same page most of the time. I am what she wants and vice versa for the most part.

I want the warm/sweet/affectionate type. Flexable and we enjoy the same social activities. Like Music/Movies/Resturants for talking about the world around us.

We both dress up and are well groomed/fit for each other.

So what about you. When it happens. Do you have a ideal type.
Your shopping list seems reasonable. There are ton's of 30 something attractive women without children who like to go out to eat.

I predict you'll be married in less that a year.

My shopping list was very VERY detailed and unreasonable. So I spent a good amount of time trying to shape my husband into the man I "wanted" to marry. I didn't have any marriage role models other than TV. So yeah, I wanted Prince Charming; society told me not to settle for less. So did I make lots of drama when maybe not so much drama was needed? Probably. But I don't have regrets. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I'm sure lots of men would have described me as "crazy." I prefer the term "Emotionally High Maintenance."
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Old 23rd January 2018, 1:10 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by nospam99 View Post
No_Go, I must introduce you to my brother and my twin sons to set off your conditioning .
It could do it... or backfire and reinforce it
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Old 23rd January 2018, 1:16 PM   #33
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Yeah Scorpio woman and Leo man is awesome Or just a nonrandom clustering of random birth dates

The racism in dating is a touchy subject. If it is a preference for looks - understandable. But to say they will sleep with you but not date you I've seen this more as intra-racial racism, then inter-racial, I don't know why.

To me: life has proven to me race is not a relevant parameter. So far: my strongest crushes has included one guy from each race I couldn't get it that equal even with a targeted approach

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Originally Posted by shoplocal View Post
Maybe Scorpio women and Leo men?

I'm a Leo woman and cannot stand Scorpio men. They're so obsessed with secrets and hiding/protecting themselves they don't communicate clearly. Blech. I used to actively hate Scorpio ladies when I was a kid, but now I know some are okay, after careful vetting and strong boundaries.

Anyway. My type definitely doesn't exist. Calm, practical, open minded men with stellar conversation skills can have any woman they want. Unfortunately, they don't want fat, eccentric, black women.

On the flip side, I appear to be the ideal type for low income immigrants looking for easy casual sex with a woman they'd never in a million years call their girlfriend because black women are not partner material. I always wonder if this approach works on anyone, but have never been brave enough to ask. I'm afraid they'll say that it does indeed.

(And for those asking why I'm bringing race into it: these men tell me they approach me because I'm black, and also consider me not relationship material because I'm black.)
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Old 23rd January 2018, 1:28 PM   #34
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Yeah, both those couples broke up and when they did the leo guy called the scorp a narcissist lol. They definitely weren't. It was just a bitter break up and there were trust issues in both cases. I think it was a real case of love/hate.

I like cancers!!!! My ex and all my hardest crushes have been cancers. Each one. But aquarius are not supposed to! We're too cold for sweet Cancers.


I don't really know I if I believe in this stuff although it does seem so spot on sometimes. Confirmation bias perhaps
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Old 23rd January 2018, 3:34 PM   #35
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Your shopping list seems reasonable. There are ton's of 30 something attractive women without children who like to go out to eat.
Depends on your location. That one trait alone is almost non-existent around here.
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Old 23rd January 2018, 4:01 PM   #36
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I think I'm too picky to have a specific type - many things have to come together for someone to be close to ideal, but there are very few traits I insist on. If all the personality and values criteria are in place, my strong preference would be an athletic slender brunette with an insatiable sex drive.

I did meet one, and married her.
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Old 25th January 2018, 3:38 PM   #37
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I don't know where you live, but it will not be easy to find a female late 30's and childless. Most have children by then at least where I live in midwest USA.
I wanted that myself and I missed out on many women because of that rule.
Women with children are different--they like to talk about their kids who are their top priority in life. at that age. You like kids? It helps if you do.

My advice is to throw out your ideal type in the junk and look for a realistic type for you. Be very very realistic. Otherwise you will end up alone like me. And regret it. Idealism is for the movies and romance fiction.
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Old 25th January 2018, 7:16 PM   #38
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Yeah, both those couples broke up and when they did the leo guy called the scorp a narcissist lol. They definitely weren't. It was just a bitter break up and there were trust issues in both cases. I think it was a real case of love/hate.

I like cancers!!!! My ex and all my hardest crushes have been cancers. Each one. But aquarius are not supposed to! We're too cold for sweet Cancers.


I don't really know I if I believe in this stuff although it does seem so spot on sometimes. Confirmation bias perhaps
I've heard of (known) many Cancer/Aquarius pairings - lots of 'I'm so into this person but don't know why because we're so different'. Both male Cancer/female Aquarius and vice versa. I don't know any to have lasted, but to be fair I don't know them any more.

I studied astrology for a really long time, and still keep an eye on things. :-p
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Old 25th January 2018, 7:21 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by No_Go View Post
Yeah Scorpio woman and Leo man is awesome Or just a nonrandom clustering of random birth dates

The racism in dating is a touchy subject. If it is a preference for looks - understandable. But to say they will sleep with you but not date you I've seen this more as intra-racial racism, then inter-racial, I don't know why.

To me: life has proven to me race is not a relevant parameter. So far: my strongest crushes has included one guy from each race I couldn't get it that equal even with a targeted approach
I so had to look up intraracial and interracial :-p the men in question have been of of all races/combination of races except asian. Sadly, asian men have never been into me, unless you count Indians as asians. In that case, a few have friendly, never flirty, and (thankfully) never told me I was worthy only of being the town mattress.
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Old 26th January 2018, 10:24 AM   #40
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Generally I think my ideal type is real, but there are some days when I doubt it.

Late 20s, early 30s, childless and doesn't want children, unmarried.

Several married/separated men have made advances toward me, which I shoot down because I'm not into all the drama. I also feel we're trained to take more of a traditional route with marriage and kids, which I do not want. Most men I've dated initially seem to agree on no children, but over time they think I'll change my mind.
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Old 26th January 2018, 3:40 PM   #41
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My ideal type: any decent looking woman that wants to show me her boobs.
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Old 26th January 2018, 9:04 PM   #42
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I'm in a new-ish relationship with a guy who is exactly my type in terms of physicality (looks and how he moves and touches) and personality. Its funny because my ex-h was completely totally not my type on any dimension and I always kinda wondered what it would be like to be with someone who was. So far it's pretty amazing. I wonder if it wears off in time. But I can't imagine there will ever be a time that I'm not dying to consume him. lol
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Old 27th January 2018, 3:52 PM   #43
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I'll tell you about a story of a girl who's looking for her ideal partner. She could've picked me, because I think I have lots of good qualities and I was there for her, I loved her, maybe it's just me but we had this deep connection. Yet, I guess she wanted a guy who's "that" tall, "that" muscular, had "that" kind of career, was "that" charming, etcetera. Waiting for a fictional character -even if she met a guy like that I suspect he'd want anything besides a pump&dump-, she didn't even see that we could be happy together. In dating, I think we all should be open-minded. I liked and dated girls who I didn't find much beautiful and I've dated ones were "not my type at all". Even though these relationships went nowhere for irrelevant reasons, I had fun, they had fun, we created good memories to remember in the future. So just be open-minded.

Last edited by drakon12; 27th January 2018 at 3:54 PM..
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Old 27th January 2018, 7:45 PM   #44
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I'll tell you about a story of a girl who's looking for her ideal partner. She could've picked me, because I think I have lots of good qualities and I was there for her, I loved her, maybe it's just me but we had this deep connection. Yet, I guess she wanted a guy who's "that" tall, "that" muscular, had "that" kind of career, was "that" charming, etcetera. Waiting for a fictional character -even if she met a guy like that I suspect he'd want anything besides a pump&dump-, she didn't even see that we could be happy together. In dating, I think we all should be open-minded. I liked and dated girls who I didn't find much beautiful and I've dated ones were "not my type at all". Even though these relationships went nowhere for irrelevant reasons, I had fun, they had fun, we created good memories to remember in the future. So just be open-minded.
Well said. I agree. Problem is, good luck getting those head in the clouds, fantasy world type people to agree with you. They'd rather hold out hopes for someone that wouldn't be interested in them because settling is bad and they deserve the best person ever.
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Old 27th January 2018, 10:15 PM   #45
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Here is my criteria at age 46 as a spiritual/black male that lives in Canada.

Single/Widowed/Divorced. If Separated. The Divorce needs to be finalized within a yr and a half if possible. There will be no talk of a commited future, unless she is Divorced.

Age- within 7 to 10 yrs of me. I just don't see myself with a older woman around late 60's or a younger woman in her early 20's.

Ethnicity. Open. Most likley going to be White/Black/Mixed/Latino.

Hair- I don't really care.
Height- Don't care. I like Short or same as me which is 5'9
Fit and working out.
Childless is what I would like, I guess I could be with a woman that has one child.
Lives in my city. Not doing the long distance thing.
Does not work in my workplace.
Physically- As long as we are both attracted to each other
Similar interests- going to music venues, going for dinner, long walks. Talking about the world around us.
Not into the homebody/small talk.
Able to give space to each other/not attached at the hip.

Humour/physical affectionate towards me and wants the same from I to her.

Not into extreem clubbing with the girls. Not heavy flirtatious with other men, than just being friendly when social situations arise.

Makes and effort with me, where I don't have to do all the leg work when it comes to being together with her. We meet half way.

Works out problems between us in an amicable way
No rush to get married and have kids. Lets bond as a couple first and take a couple of trips together, before locking us in towards each other.

I think my ideal type is realistic. What do you all think?
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