HotShotChinez Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Hi there! I'm a highschool student at the moment and I've started talking with a girl at school that I think is cute and kind. Though I get the feeling that she is an introvert person and I don't know how I should behave towards her? If she is an introvert person, which I think she is, how should I talk to her, take the next step and so on? I'm kind of lost right now. I did buy her a rose at school because the school had some kind of event before valentines day and I bought her one and she was very thankful. Though something is weird I don't know what to do at the moment like I said before, someone who has experience or maybe some advise? Very thankful in advance! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Introverts can be very social and good at communication - they just need more time alone to recharge their batteries. Perhaps it's more about her being shy or having poor social skills? I guess all you can do is make general conversation and hope she holds up her own end of the discussions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HotShotChinez Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Introverts can be very social and good at communication - they just need more time alone to recharge their batteries. Perhaps it's more about her being shy or having poor social skills? I guess all you can do is make general conversation and hope she holds up her own end of the discussions. Yeah, exactly what you said, she's shy and have poor social skills. That's why I don't know what to do in order to take the next step and continue of course I will be patient if I have to and I'm not some jerk that plays girls, I do really like her, I do, with all of my heart. Thanks for your reply 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 You're a nice person, so just be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 If she's really quiet, don't be thinking she is going to take the next step for you. Ask if you can walk her to class or just start walking with her and ask what class she has and if she likes it. If she starts opening up in the next few days, you can ask her to go do something together. Don't be waiting for a sign or anything if she's that shy. She may be too shy to even smile or something. But just try to talk to her. Ask her little stuff about school. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HotShotChinez Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 You're a nice person, so just be yourself. Okay I will try my best! Thanks for saying such a nice compliment Link to post Share on other sites
Author HotShotChinez Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 If she's really quiet, don't be thinking she is going to take the next step for you. Ask if you can walk her to class or just start walking with her and ask what class she has and if she likes it. If she starts opening up in the next few days, you can ask her to go do something together. Don't be waiting for a sign or anything if she's that shy. She may be too shy to even smile or something. But just try to talk to her. Ask her little stuff about school. Good ideas! Well, we're not the same age so It'll be difficult to follow her and so, but I will try the school stuff more Thanks for the tips! She's the type that barely smiles, she has smiled once towards me, but that was just temporary I think... Also we've talked for a bit more than a week and it seems like she's no 'ordinary' person (I don't judge), that's what makes the whole thing complicated... I'm thinking of some kind of ''ice-breaker'', but maybe just time and patience is the asnwer...? What do you think ? Link to post Share on other sites
LaraC Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 If you've ever heard the expression "still waters run deep" this is true! i'm an introvert usually, so hope I can help with some insight Next time you are sitting next to her tap her and whisper, "Hey, I have a present for you." She'll probably stare at you like what? So you say, "give me your hand" you have to do this with the attitude like you have a fun secret. Then take her wrist and say, "ok close your eyes, you can't look!" No really, close your eyes. So while you have her wrist in your hand, and her eyes are closed, get a sharpie pen and draw and darken a little star on the back of her hand. Not a huge star, just a small thing. Then say open your eyes! And she'll probably be smiling not sure what to say. So you say "sharpie tattoo!" Then smile and turn away like no big deal. Be sure to leave the pen between the two of you so that she might think of picking it up and giving you a sharpie tattoo in return. Smile and turn away and sigh like you are bored. Like its no big deal, just a random moment to pass the time. If she doesn't respond its okay. She'll probably just smile. The point is not to pressure her into feeling like she needs to say something or do anything. Just so she knows that you find her a cool person to be around, you are relaxed around her and wasting time. Keep finding ways to interact with her that don't require her having to talk. These can be things like passing her notes with funny things on them, I remember one friend sent me a note with a picture of darth vader and asked does this teacher not sound like darth (he had emphysema). Then after class he would do the breathing "hhhhhooohhhhh hoooohhhhh" as we were walking out. It always made me crack up. She may seem quiet on the surface, but there are things that she feels passionate, I mean really extremely passionate about. Things she has spent hours mulling over in her mind, that fascinate her. See if you can observe her and figure out what they are. Don't ask directly, but say things like "I really like ____" or "____ is effing awesome". If she doesn't react at all, move on, you missed. If you've found one of her sweet spots, she will smile and open up about it. Just keep talking or doing things with her until she feels comfortable listening to your positive, happy vibes and joins in. Tell jokes, draw a star on her hand, play touch games like thumb war, anything that doesn't involve her having to talk. Every introvert loves to be around extroverts, because they do all the heavy lifting in the conversation. If you say something nice and she stays quiet, it might just be because she's thinking of the right response. I am absolutely guilty of this, of not knowing what to say until 10 hours later. Don't be afraid to bring the same thing up the next day, she might have thought of a response by then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HotShotChinez Posted February 13, 2016 Author Share Posted February 13, 2016 If you've ever heard the expression "still waters run deep" this is true! i'm an introvert usually, so hope I can help with some insight Next time you are sitting next to her tap her and whisper, "Hey, I have a present for you." She'll probably stare at you like what? So you say, "give me your hand" you have to do this with the attitude like you have a fun secret. Then take her wrist and say, "ok close your eyes, you can't look!" No really, close your eyes. So while you have her wrist in your hand, and her eyes are closed, get a sharpie pen and draw and darken a little star on the back of her hand. Not a huge star, just a small thing. Then say open your eyes! And she'll probably be smiling not sure what to say. So you say "sharpie tattoo!" Then smile and turn away like no big deal. Be sure to leave the pen between the two of you so that she might think of picking it up and giving you a sharpie tattoo in return. Smile and turn away and sigh like you are bored. Like its no big deal, just a random moment to pass the time. If she doesn't respond its okay. She'll probably just smile. The point is not to pressure her into feeling like she needs to say something or do anything. Just so she knows that you find her a cool person to be around, you are relaxed around her and wasting time. Keep finding ways to interact with her that don't require her having to talk. These can be things like passing her notes with funny things on them, I remember one friend sent me a note with a picture of darth vader and asked does this teacher not sound like darth (he had emphysema). Then after class he would do the breathing "hhhhhooohhhhh hoooohhhhh" as we were walking out. It always made me crack up. She may seem quiet on the surface, but there are things that she feels passionate, I mean really extremely passionate about. Things she has spent hours mulling over in her mind, that fascinate her. See if you can observe her and figure out what they are. Don't ask directly, but say things like "I really like ____" or "____ is effing awesome". If she doesn't react at all, move on, you missed. If you've found one of her sweet spots, she will smile and open up about it. Just keep talking or doing things with her until she feels comfortable listening to your positive, happy vibes and joins in. Tell jokes, draw a star on her hand, play touch games like thumb war, anything that doesn't involve her having to talk. Every introvert loves to be around extroverts, because they do all the heavy lifting in the conversation. If you say something nice and she stays quiet, it might just be because she's thinking of the right response. I am absolutely guilty of this, of not knowing what to say until 10 hours later. Don't be afraid to bring the same thing up the next day, she might have thought of a response by then. Wow, just wow. I was really inspired and I'm also very thankful for your wonderful answer. I can't thank you enough, I know understand a lot better how to behave and react when you're with an introvert person. Though I do have some small problems. Since she's extremely shy and barely smiles at school (She smiled towards me once) I started having brief eye contact and smile towards her everytime I saw her at school, this was because we don't attend the same courses and we have different schedules. She's younger than me too, but age doesn't matter. I decided to add her on facebook and that way she wouldn't have to talk in front of her friends or in school. I thought that maybe that way she would behave more like herself, she wouldn't feel uncomfortable at school because of me. I do always talk to her in the evening so that she won't feel the pressure that someone is watching her talking to a guy. I'm a bit shy too actually and haven't accompanied her at school or something yet, I feel ashamed... But the thing is, I bought her the rose, I talk to her regularly, always ask how she's doing, ask if she had a good day, ask if school is going well, ask what she's doing and so on. Though, it doesn't seem like she notices that I'm pretty serious about her and that I care. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't seem like she's been in contact with a guy before (nothing wrong with that), I did ask my friend who is a girl about it and she told me that she's very very shy. Though, there's still something that is not right. For me it also feels kind of awkward to just approach her and sit next to her at school. I don't know why, but it's like a norm in my country.... Seems like most of the people feel tha way here... It feels like she's so shy that it would be very very wrong to sit next to her or go straight to her and hang out with her at school, she would probably be very uncomfortable and become confused so that she doesn t know what to do, I think you know what I mean. Very thankful for the answer you gave me! God bless you! Link to post Share on other sites
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