Does anyone else get the vibe cold appraoch is creepy

[endlessabyss]

I can't help but think that cold approaching is creepy as f*ck. Sometimes I see an attractive chick, and the idea of approaching comes up, but as your heading up to this random person, that you have no idea who they are, you creep up on the unexpectedly, and blurt out something random lol.

 

 

I've only did this a few times, just saying a compliment, and left it at that. Once I did it at the gym, and got a great response. The chick wanted to keep talking, but I just went back to working out.

 

 

With cold approach I feel like getting phone numbers are irrelevant. Most of the time a chick will just give you her number because she doesn't want to be mean. I had this happen the other day, while at a business seminar. I was chatting up some chick, and asked her for her number. Even though she was engaged (which I did see the ring prior), but was hoping it wasn't an engagement ring), she was going to give it to me anyways, because she said she didn't want to be mean lol.

 

 

So, anyways, can we all agree cold approaching is plain creepy, as well as inefficient?

[Cristo]

I don't think it's creepy at all. However, the vast majority of women think it is. Unless you are a GQ model, you will have to approach A LOT before having any success.

 

This is a reflection on our culture far more than it is on the veracity of actual cold approaching. In other cultures, it is perfectly normal and even encouraged to cold approach.

 

In the US, men and women generally distrust each other. So cold approaching does not really work, for the most part.

[ThaWholigan]

It works for people who are able to accurately read initial interest levels. A lot of us guys find that a little difficult so we end up in the dark about it sometimes. A bit of research and being in more social situations involving women would help a bit. You have to be highly observant though.

 

Cold approach has a low success rate for me personally, but it has worked for me a number of times before. Having said that, I've been cold approached by women myself - and occasionally women themselves can be creepy .

[JuneJulySeptember]

It's possible, the odds are just very low.

 

As with everything else, the more attractive you are, the better odds you have.

 

The reason the odds are low is that most women are not open to cold approach.

 

I actually do know a couple of guys who met their wives that way though. As a guy, you kind of want to teeter the line. You want to explore all options of approach, but you can't go too crazy, because you could get constantly rejected, laughed at, or even worse, get your a@@ kicked.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I don't think it's creepy at all. However, the vast majority of women think it is. Unless you are a GQ model, you will have to approach A LOT before having any success.

 

This is a reflection on our culture far more than it is on the veracity of actual cold approaching. In other cultures, it is perfectly normal and even encouraged to cold approach.

 

In the US, men and women generally distrust each other. So cold approaching does not really work, for the most part.

 

If you use logic, then it will never work.

 

See, a logical man would think "Wow, I spent an hour in a bar talking to this woman about everything, and she was around my age, shorter than me, same race, same background and ... she rejected me."

 

That has happened to me a LOT.

 

Now, if you get rejected in that situation, what chance do you have cold approaching a woman off the street? The logical man would say not much.

 

But the answer is that women just like what they like and a lot of it is spurious and based on looks. You never know who is into looks/not into looks and you never know who might give you a chance.

 

That said, cold approach is a low odds game, but you get in volume. If you have the guts to really get some volume in, that is. I know few guys with that kind of stomach.

[endlessabyss]

If you use logic, then it will never work.

 

See, a logical man would think "Wow, I spent an hour in a bar talking to this woman about everything, and she was around my age, shorter than me, same race, same background and ... she rejected me."

 

That has happened to me a LOT.

 

Now, if you get rejected in that situation, what chance do you have cold approaching a woman off the street? The logical man would say not much.

 

But the answer is that women just like what they like and a lot of it is spurious and based on looks. You never know who is into looks/not into looks and you never know who might give you a chance.

 

That said, cold approach is a low odds game, but you get in volume. If you have the guts to really get some volume in, that is. I know few guys with that kind of stomach.

 

 

This.

 

 

Volume is key to cold approaching, and many just don't have the time to walk around random places, creeping, imho.

[Cristo]

If you use logic, then it will never work.

 

See, a logical man would think "Wow, I spent an hour in a bar talking to this woman about everything, and she was around my age, shorter than me, same race, same background and ... she rejected me."

 

That has happened to me a LOT.

 

Now, if you get rejected in that situation, what chance do you have cold approaching a woman off the street? The logical man would say not much.

 

But the answer is that women just like what they like and a lot of it is spurious and based on looks. You never know who is into looks/not into looks and you never know who might give you a chance.

 

That said, cold approach is a low odds game, but you get in volume. If you have the guts to really get some volume in, that is. I know few guys with that kind of stomach.

 

By "cold approach", I meant during the day (at the gym, grocery store, etc). You'll easily get labeled creepy at these places without much effort.

 

Bars and clubs are actually far easier to approach in if you learn the dynamic. I'm just an average guy and there have been nights where I made one approach, then went home with the girl (back in my casual sex days). It's actually also pretty easy to go from being blown out to being accepted in these environments if you know how to handle each situation.

 

Of course, the downside is that you'll meet mostly trashy women at bars.

[JuneJulySeptember]

By "cold approach", I meant during the day (at the gym, grocery store, etc). You'll easily get labeled creepy at these places without much effort.

 

Bars and clubs are actually far easier to approach in if you learn the dynamic. I'm just an average guy and there have been nights where I made one approach, then went home with the girl (back in my casual sex days). It's actually also pretty easy to go from being blown out to being accepted in these environments if you know how to handle each situation.

 

Of course, the downside is that you'll meet mostly trashy women at bars.

 

I agree. I do not consider bars cold approach. I was just giving an anecdote. Plus every guys situation is different, right?

 

I wouldn't really suggest a guy who struggles to physically attract women do cold approach.

 

But then again, women decide whether or not to give you a chance so very early in the game, so you could get lucky.

[newmoon]

it's only creepy if the guy isn't what we like. if we like him, it wouldn't be creepy at all, it'd be flattering. you don't know what a woman likes in a guy just by looking at her, so what is the harm in just a hello?

[normal person]

I don't know about "creepy" but when I see guys doing it it always seems very transparent. Like they aren't kidding anyone with what they're up to. I've never been a fan of making people uncomfortable so I don't think I've ever cold approached a girl. If they're in my proximity I can create a connection circumstantially without the big song and dance that you'll see other guys doing.

[Phoe]

I've only did this a few times, just saying a compliment, and left it at that. Once I did it at the gym, and got a great response. The chick wanted to keep talking, but I just went back to working out.

 

 

So what's the problem? You did it, and when it worked, you walked away? That's your own doing.

[endlessabyss]

 

So what's the problem? You did it, and when it worked, you walked away? That's your own doing.

 

 

It works like a charm to say a complement and walk away.

 

 

You don't come off needy. In the particular example I gave, the girl ended up walking past me multiple times to get my attention, but I just let it be. There was something gratifying about knowing that it was there for the taking, but I didn't show desperation by trying to keep things going.

 

 

Swag.

[Destined2B]

IMO, there is a very, very low chance of getting into a meaningful relationship with a cold approach. I suppose one can get a few dates and a hookup, but then why not just use tinder and forget about creeping on women in public?

[NJ123]

It works like a charm to say a complement and walk away.

 

 

You don't come off needy. In the particular example I gave, the girl ended up walking past me multiple times to get my attention, but I just let it be. There was something gratifying about knowing that it was there for the taking, but I didn't show desperation by trying to keep things going.

 

 

Swag.

 

So you just did it as an experiment, & were never interested in this particular girl?

[endlessabyss]

So you just did it as an experiment, & were never interested in this particular girl?

 

I was definitely attracted to her. She was perfect in my eyes, and she had these tattoos. Something about women and tattoos I find sexy. It may be because I have a lot of tattoos.

 

 

But anyways, she was probably thrown off that I didn't keep going. I was actually surprised how lite up her face got when I complimented her. I would of assumed she got compliments all the time (given her attractiveness), and she would of thought it was no big deal.

[NJ123]

I was definitely attracted to her. She was perfect in my eyes, and she had these tattoos. Something about women and tattoos I find sexy. It may be because I have a lot of tattoos.

 

 

But anyways, she was probably thrown off that I didn't keep going. I was actually surprised how lite up her face got when I complimented her. I would of assumed she got compliments all the time (given her attractiveness), and she would of thought it was no big deal.

 

Okay, so than why didn't you go back to talk to her afterwards? If you were interested you could have just went back to talk to her & said you were too shy to keep the convo going or something as an excuse for why you just went about your workout earlier.

[endlessabyss]

Okay, so than why didn't you go back to talk to her afterwards? If you were interested you could have just went back to talk to her & said you were too shy to keep the convo going or something as an excuse for why you just went about your workout earlier.

 

 

It wasn't that I was too shy, we were just in the gym, and I figured she wanted to get back to her workout. I really had no more intentions of going beyond the compliment.

 

 

Personally, I feel like approaching random women in the day is kind of inappropriate, because that is when people are taking care of errands and whatnot.

[NJ123]

It wasn't that I was too shy, we were just in the gym, and I figured she wanted to get back to her workout. I really had no more intentions of going beyond the compliment.

 

 

Personally, I feel like approaching random women in the day is kind of inappropriate, because that is when people are taking care of errands and whatnot.

 

Yeah, I can't recall one time when I ever seen a woman get hit on at the gym. I always see really attractive women at the gym, but they don't get approached by anyone.

[endlessabyss]

Yeah, I can't recall one time when I ever seen a woman get hit on at the gym. I always see really attractive women at the gym, but they don't get approached by anyone.

 

 

Yea, it's kind of an awkward place to be hitting on women. I've seen it happen before, but scarcely.

[thanaton]

I'm afraid I still don't quite understand. What is "cold approach"?

[endlessabyss]

I'm afraid I still don't quite understand. What is "cold approach"?

 

 

 

www.google.com

[thanaton]

www.google.com

 

I already tried that I couldn't find any results for a definition.