Number to date transitions

[Stay]

I know I will miss 100% of the shots I don't take but I have a lot of issues with proceeding further. Majority of the people I get numbers from the conversations kinda die off or they ended up not wanting to meet. Either I didn't make them comfortable enough or they weren't very interested in the beginning. When I do go out though and get numbers, I usually get a little nervous after the next day as drunken nights usually leave me unsure of things.

 

I don't ask for numbers right away and go on with my night, I know some guys usually small talk and grab their numbers then go on their ways (which doesn't lead to much but a number) but I tend to show them around and get comfortable, just like friends hanging out. Of course there's touching etc. during the night then I'll ask for their numbers at the end. Have anyone went on a date with another person after meeting them only one night? If so how was it brought up? I don't even care if it leads to something more but I'd like to build a friendship if not more.

Edited August 4, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[DazedandConfused8]

I know I will miss 100% of the shots I don't take but I have a lot of issues with proceeding further. Majority of the people I get numbers from the conversations kinda die off or they ended up not wanting to meet. Either I didn't make them comfortable enough or they weren't very interested in the beginning. When I do go out though and get numbers, I usually get a little nervous after the next day as drunken nights usually leave me unsure of things. I don't ask for numbers right away and go on with my night, I know some guys usually small talk and grab their numbers then go on their ways (which doesn't lead to much but a number) but I tend to show them around and get comfortable, just like friends hanging out. Of course there's touching etc. during the night then I'll ask for their numbers at the end. Have anyone went on a date with another person after meeting them only one night? If so how was it brought up? I don't even care if it leads to something more but I'd like to build a friendship if not more.

 

So are you meeting these people to go on dates with? Or you're just randomly wandering around downtown and find some people to hang out with for a night?

[Stay]

So are you meeting these people to go on dates with? Or you're just randomly wandering around downtown and find some people to hang out with for a night?

 

Are you asking what I want out of this? I meet these people at night but I'd like to do dates or at the very least friends.

[DazedandConfused8]

Are you asking what I want out of this? I meet these people at night but I'd like to do dates or at the very least friends.

 

I'm asking how you're meeting them. Are you just randomly seeing them on the street, or are you finding them through a dating website? Their intent will help understand why you're not getting what you want.

[d0nnivain]

Do you want friendship or a GF? They are different. It's not as easy to transition from friend to GF as you may think. Use early dates to get to know somebody not as a friendship building exercise.

 

If you are getting #s, you must be doing something right. Perhaps slow down on the drinking so you have a clearer view the next day of what went on the night before.

[clia]

I know I will miss 100% of the shots I don't take but I have a lot of issues with proceeding further. Majority of the people I get numbers from the conversations kinda die off or they ended up not wanting to meet. Either I didn't make them comfortable enough or they weren't very interested in the beginning. When I do go out though and get numbers, I usually get a little nervous after the next day as drunken nights usually leave me unsure of things. I don't ask for numbers right away and go on with my night, I know some guys usually small talk and grab their numbers then go on their ways (which doesn't lead to much but a number) but I tend to show them around and get comfortable, just like friends hanging out. Of course there's touching etc. during the night then I'll ask for their numbers at the end.

 

It's definitely a numbers game. My experience is that a good portion of phone numbers exchanged will lead to nothing, possibly not even a phone call afterward. If you are meeting girls at bars and getting their number, it's kind of amazing what a clear and sober head makes you realize in the morning. when the alcohol is flowing, things sometimes seem like a good idea. I gave my number to guys sometimes, then realized the next day that I wasn't really interested in seeing them again. Or the reverse, I would never hear from them. I think it's very normal and part of the process. All you can really do is contact the girl if you want to see her again and ask her out on a date. She may respond; she may not.

 

Have anyone went on a date with another person after meeting them only one night? If so how was it brought up? I don't even care if it leads to something more but I'd like to build a friendship if not more.

 

I met my fiance at a bar. We talked for awhile and exchanged numbers. Then he called me and asked me out on a date. I had a lot of first dates that happened that way.

[DazedandConfused8]

It's definitely a numbers game. My experience is that a good portion of phone numbers exchanged will lead to nothing, possibly not even a phone call afterward. If you are meeting girls at bars and getting their number, it's kind of amazing what a clear and sober head makes you realize in the morning. when the alcohol is flowing, things sometimes seem like a good idea. I gave my number to guys sometimes, then realized the next day that I wasn't really interested in seeing them again. Or the reverse, I would never hear from them. I think it's very normal and part of the process. All you can really do is contact the girl if you want to see her again and ask her out on a date. She may respond; she may not.

 

In other words, some people can't handle their alcohol and make poor decisions when under the influence

[clia]

In other words, some people can't handle their alcohol and make poor decisions when under the influence

 

Well, on the range of poor decisions that can be made under the influence of alcohol, I don't think getting or giving a phone number ranks very high.

 

In my experience, especially while drinking and partying, you just sometimes get caught up in the moment, you're having a good time and it seems like a good idea to get together again. Then you wake up the next day sobered up and remember that the guy is divorced, with a kid, lives 45 miles away, and works as a shoe salesman and you think...pass.

[Stay]

I'm asking how you're meeting them. Are you just randomly seeing them on the street, or are you finding them through a dating website? Their intent will help understand why you're not getting what you want.

 

Just at the bars, we introduce ourselves then talk a bit then eventually sometimes we continue on the night going somewhere else together. Sometimes things are clear and I am positive the women are attracted to me. I find it that older women are more forward with what they want. Then other times we obviously have a lot of fun, there's touching involved, holding hands, and I'm taking the lead but I just am unsure of it. I just have a difficult time taking that risk from number to first date. Sometimes I find the courage to do it but most of the other times I second guess myself.

 

Do you want friendship or a GF? They are different. It's not as easy to transition from friend to GF as you may think. Use early dates to get to know somebody not as a friendship building exercise.

 

If you are getting #s, you must be doing something right. Perhaps slow down on the drinking so you have a clearer view the next day of what went on the night before.

 

I'd like for a GF and I rather start with that and not have it work out and be friends instead if it comes to that. Basically the aim is for a GF or at the very least a friend who is a girl. It's much easier to go from potential GF to friend than friend to GF that's for sure.

 

It's not necessarily that I don't have a clear view of things the next day but more of the alcohol is worn off and that liquid confidence is gone. Then I start thinking too much and second guessing myself if I should go for it or not, etc. I remember everything about the night, how fun it was, and how much fun the girl was having.. Enough to feel comfortable around me and to touch me.

 

It's definitely a numbers game. My experience is that a good portion of phone numbers exchanged will lead to nothing, possibly not even a phone call afterward. If you are meeting girls at bars and getting their number, it's kind of amazing what a clear and sober head makes you realize in the morning. when the alcohol is flowing, things sometimes seem like a good idea. I gave my number to guys sometimes, then realized the next day that I wasn't really interested in seeing them again. Or the reverse, I would never hear from them. I think it's very normal and part of the process. All you can really do is contact the girl if you want to see her again and ask her out on a date. She may respond; she may not.

 

 

 

I met my fiance at a bar. We talked for awhile and exchanged numbers. Then he called me and asked me out on a date. I had a lot of first dates that happened that way.

 

I guess I need to get into the habit of initiating. Most of the time I text that night then after I don't actually go in for asking for a date. What do I have to lose right? I either benefit or stay where I am at.

 

Well, on the range of poor decisions that can be made under the influence of alcohol, I don't think getting or giving a phone number ranks very high.

 

In my experience, especially while drinking and partying, you just sometimes get caught up in the moment, you're having a good time and it seems like a good idea to get together again. Then you wake up the next day sobered up and remember that the guy is divorced, with a kid, lives 45 miles away, and works as a shoe salesman and you think...pass.

 

If a girl gives you her number it means she had a good time and I think obviously enjoys my company one way or another. I guess I have a difficult time asking someone out on a date when I didn't get to converse much. But that's what the date is for anyways so I don't know why I feel like that.

[clia]

I guess I need to get into the habit of initiating. Most of the time I text that night then after I don't actually go in for asking for a date. What do I have to lose right? I either benefit or stay where I am at.

 

That's exactly right. You have nothing to lose by calling her up and asking hr out on a date. If she doesn't respond or says no, don't take it too personally. Just move on to the next one.

 

If a girl gives you her number it means she had a good time and I think obviously enjoys my company one way or another. I guess I have a difficult time asking someone out on a date when I didn't get to converse much. But that's what the date is for anyways so I don't know why I feel like that.

 

Yes, that's the point of the date! Ask, ask, ask...

[normal person]

Either I didn't make them comfortable enough or they weren't very interested in the beginning.

 

What're you doing to get them interested? I wouldn't ask for a girl's number unless I was sure she wanted me to have it. If there's any doubt then you're probably jumping the gun a little. Sounds like they're giving you their number as a concession or just to get rid of you. Think about why they would want to give it to you. Do they seem interested, intrigued, up front, engaged? You have to make them feel something first. There needs to be a little sexual tension as opposed to nothing. Then you can get the number.

 

 

I don't ask for numbers right away and go on with my night, I know some guys usually small talk and grab their numbers then go on their ways (which doesn't lead to much but a number) but I tend to show them around and get comfortable, just like friends hanging out.

 

If you want her number to be more than friends, don't act like just a friend. You need to turn up the heat a bit. Otherwise you run the risk of just being boring.

 

 

Have anyone went on a date with another person after meeting them only one night? If so how was it brought up? I don't even care if it leads to something more but I'd like to build a friendship if not more.

 

A lot of times. That's how most people meet, right? You start talking with someone, you feel a little bit of a connection, they feel it too and it just happens organically. Don't disguise your intentions, be upfront. If you want to be friends, say that.

Edited August 5, 2014 by normal person

[Stay]

What're you doing to get them interested? I wouldn't ask for a girl's number unless I was sure she was going to give it to me. If there's any doubt then you're probably jumping the gun a little. Sounds like they're giving you their number as a concession or just to get rid of you. Think about why they would want to give it to you. Do they seem interested, intrigued, up front, engaged? You have to make them feel something first. There needs to be a little sexual tension as opposed to nothing. Then you can get the number.

 

 

 

 

If you want her number to be more than friends, don't act like just a friend. You need to turn up the heat a bit. Otherwise you run the risk of just being boring.

 

 

 

 

A lot of times. That's how most people meet, right? You start talking with someone, you feel a little bit of a connection, they feel it too and it just happens organically. Don't disguise your intentions, be upfront. If you want to be friends, say that.

 

 

I never ask for a number unless there is something there or at least I feel something. I know it wasn't to get rid of me because we spent hours that night, dancing, when we would walk I'll hold her hand to lead, etc. Just things like that, I know touching a big part of making some sort of a connection. If she didn't resist any of that and still hung around me after that then surely she at least enjoys my company and that's more than just giving me her number to get rid of me.