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Is This Weird?


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Hello to all the loveshack members I just came here to ask for some good advice.

 

My semester currently started in this university and I have come across a girl that I'd like to start relationship with. I don't even know her, never talked to her before, just a classmate.

 

My question is, would it be weird if I approached her and said straight up

 

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I know this might sound completely weird but I was wondering If I can take you out for a dinner?"

 

How would the girl feel, would she feel creeped out? or is this a decent way to approach someone

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Hello to all the loveshack members I just came here to ask for some good advice.

 

My semester currently started in this university and I have come across a girl that I'd like to start relationship with. I don't even know her, never talked to her before, just a classmate.

If you don't even know her yet, have never talked to her, how can you imagine starting a relationship with her? (Or are you using that in a most general way, as in "would like to get to know her....?) I'll asssume you are just talking about getting to know her better at this early stage.

 

My question is, would it be weird if I approached her and said straight up

 

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I know this might sound completely weird but I was wondering If I can take you out for a dinner?"

 

How would the girl feel, would she feel creeped out? or is this a decent way to approach someone

Unfortunately, yes, it would be weird, because you are telling her that you feel weird about it, right at the start. Why would you preface your statement in a way that almost guarantees she will feel weird about it? That basically says: "I barely got up the confidence to even talk to you, and now I'm going to ask you to dinner." Yeah, that would be weird.

 

If you've never talked to her at all, and you're shooting for a high goal (dinner first), you'd better be able to go in with a lot of charisma and complete confidence, and an indifference to possibly going down in flames, and it doesn't sound like you are likely to pull that off.

 

Instead, how about shooting a little lower at first - like maybe talking to her a little bit? Coffee, sodas, drinks - even lunch first?

 

Or in your world, is "dinner" something like "bring your tray over next to mine in the dining hall tonight"? Maybe that's not such a high goal after all, then... We may need a little more context here.

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Sorry for my ambiguity, yes I just want to get to know her, but I don't have the opportunity to go to her and starting have a conversation slowly because I mean it is a classroom and at the end everyone just goes on their way.

 

I want to say it directly, so I can talk to her directly I'm a type of guy who likes to say thing straight up

 

Well since the classroom is an evening class, that's why I grabbed the word dinner from, which "in my world" is to just take her to a restaurant.

 

So is it better to say,

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I was wondering If i can take you out on a dinner tonight if you don't mind"\

 

Of course, I would be letting all my ego and pride down when I'm asking and I will be expecting a no although that would be disappointing and embarrassing

 

I don't know I always thought girls liked it straight up , maybe i'm wrong

Edited by ByShine
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Sorry for my ambiguity, yes I just want to get to know her, but I don't have the opportunity to go to her and starting have a conversation slowly because I mean it is a classroom and at the end everyone just goes on their way.

 

I want to say it directly, so I can talk to her directly I'm a type of guy who likes to say thing straight up

 

Well since the classroom is an evening class, that's why I grabbed the word dinner from, which "in my world" is to just take her to a restaurant.

 

So is it better to say,

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I was wondering If i can take you out on a dinner tonight if you don't mind"\

 

Of course, I would be letting all my ego and pride down when I'm asking and I will be expecting a no although that would be disappointing and embarrassing

 

I don't know I always thought girls liked it straight up , maybe i'm wrong

No no, don't get me wrong - I'm all for the direct approach. My point is, if you're going direct, then don't cushion it with "this may sound weird" or even "...if you don't mind" as in your last example. Those make it sound like you're expecting to be turned down and are already flinching before the blow. My point is, go in there with confidence (but not arrogance...) and don't signal that you are already preparing an exit plan. All in!

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strongnrelaxed
Help please!

 

I know the feeling of wanting to get to know someone and the powerful feelings that brings. But they usually get you shot down.

 

Women generally want a strong confident man. Perhaps the best, and possibly only way, to take her out is to chat her up. Just start talking to her.

 

Never ask her a question. Make statements. Tease her a little without the "negging" I keep hearing about. You are not a player so I know you won't try to go there.

 

But if you are too shy, she will smell "nice guy" . If this site has taught you nothing, it is that women hate nice guys. Pay attention to the men who have marriage troubles.

 

So - the next time you see her, just walk by and say "nice dress" Don't look back or expect a response. Just keep walking. Every thing you do you should do with a confident smile and keep walking. Little by little she will warm up to you as long as you don't get nervous. Remember she is just one woman of thousands. There is no "special one". So do not mistreat her, just don't show any strong interest or she will bolt.

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Hello to all the loveshack members I just came here to ask for some good advice.

 

My semester currently started in this university and I have come across a girl that I'd like to start relationship with. I don't even know her, never talked to her before, just a classmate.

 

My question is, would it be weird if I approached her and said straight up

 

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I know this might sound completely weird but I was wondering If I can take you out for a dinner?"

 

How would the girl feel, would she feel creeped out? or is this a decent way to approach someone

 

 

lol If the girl has noticed you she wouldn't mind....its front line i am used to that approach so thats why i laughed.......you might want to add i would like to get to know you better are you doing anything later how about dinner.....i have learnt my lesson about phones never ever used a phone to tell someone i like them never will again when i was younger it was by face to face conversation and a progression that was natural didnt have a mobile or a home phone......when i left home......i was contactable through organisations.....didnt date through them....front line kamikaze.....lol......at least you can see their eyes .....hate phones grrrr.....smilin......i killed mine after....flushed it....kidding.......anyway good luck kamikaze....im smilin atcha.......its refreshing to read no matter how many people are saying warring warning and waggling fingers at you i am laughing and going yay....go kamikaze.....lol smilin big time...so let me know how it goes.........deb

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I just thought about how awkward it might get for her (not me). Maybe im forcing it? I dont know it wont kill me to just live on. so is there hopes with my direct apporach

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I just thought about how awkward it might get for her (not me). Maybe im forcing it? I dont know it wont kill me to just live on. so is there hopes with my direct apporach

 

 

you wont know until you try it might not be something that she likes the direct approach.You could just try talking to her first getting to know her, find out what she does and doesnt like, see how oepn she is to talkign to you, get a feeling from how open she is with you adn then do what comes naturally to you....i wish you the best in whatever you decide.....deb

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I just thought about how awkward it might get for her (not me). Maybe im forcing it? I dont know it wont kill me to just live on. so is there hopes with my direct apporach

 

 

you wont know until you try

 

it might not be something that she likes the direct approach.

 

You could just try talking to her first getting to know her you sound nervous , find out what she does and doesn't like,initiate a conversation concerning the class you took together something that was mentioned perhaps, see how open she is to talking to you, get a feeling from how open she is with you and then say or do what comes naturally to you....i wish you the best in whatever you decide.....deb

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Is this weird!? Thanks 10 points?

 

I like hanginout at my bf house better because his parents can be strict and i like the feeling of challenge or risk and in a way rebelling when they say " were going to dinner dont do anythung bad etc

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ScreamingTrees

Maybe try for something a bit more casual, like coffee? I don't know why you'd offer to take a total stranger to dinner.. Sounds a bit too serious from the get-go. Coffee sounds perfect.

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unless you have the looks and charisma of errol flynn you are 99% likely to get shot down. Think about it. If you're all hot to ask her out without knowing anything about her, then its probably because she's good looking. And if you're posting this question at LS its probably because you are clueless about women. So you're ploy is almost certainly going to come off as a desperate shot in the dark...because thats what it is. You have no lead in. Like I say, if you are one of the beautiful people than sure, you probably can go in cold and straight up ask her out. But the rest of us need a better plan than that.

 

You need and angle. Sit near her next time and make some small talk. Ask her about the weeks readings, what she thinks of this or that about the class. Gossip about the prof do anything to establish some kind of connection that will be a foundation to build on. If she rebuffs you, then **** it move on. If she is receptive than keep chatting her up and getting her talking and then, when the iron is hot, then you can strike.

 

Also dinner is a better first date idea than going to a movie, hands down. But its still a pretty bad idea for a first date. I mean, it would be ok if we were talking about a girl you already sort of know, like someone in your circle of friends or whatever. But not a stranger. Even if she might say yes to coffee she will say no to dinner because she does not know you and if it turned out you were really boring (lets say), she would be stuck for at least a couple of hours. Coffee is way less risky for her because you meet up and if all goes well you can talk for hours but if not, she can make excuses and bail in 45 minutes. So yeah, asking her out for dinner straight off is courting failure. Go with coffee or something else that is casual.

 

so yeah, build the foundation, then you can build the house...good luck:)

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Guys used to do things like that to me when I was young. While it's a nice invitation, at the time, I used to feel surprised and shocked, as it came out of the blue from a complete stranger. If you surprise someone, they will act instinctively, not rationally. I used to blow guys off because I was being defensive on the spur of the moment. Only later did I think he was actually quite nice and not out to threaten me. I don't know how typical I am.

 

What I'd suggest is you build bridges. Make contact in little ways, each time you see her. First time, smile, catch her eye. Second time, do likewise and maybe sit near her. Third time, ask her if she's got a copy of the reading list or something. You aim to build a situation where she sees you as a familiar face and someone she is beginning to trust, not a complete stranger. Just build until you get chatting and both start to feel at ease, then that's the time to ask her out.

 

If you feel you won't have those chances, then you could ask her or give her a note with your number on, saying 'I'd like to get to know you and we haven't had chance to talk inside the classroom. Please give me a ring later. Joe' It might seem a bit high schoolish but honestly I think I'd have responded better to a gentle approach like that than the sudden 'in your face' request.

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Hello to all the loveshack members I just came here to ask for some good advice.

 

My semester currently started in this university and I have come across a girl that I'd like to start relationship with. I don't even know her, never talked to her before, just a classmate.

 

My question is, would it be weird if I approached her and said straight up

 

"Hey you got a minute?"

"I know this might sound completely weird but I was wondering If I can take you out for a dinner?"

 

How would the girl feel, would she feel creeped out? or is this a decent way to approach someone

 

 

i dont think its creepy at all....dinner as a first date though.....try lunch.......or coffee.....the direct approach is not creepy...its direct....indirect is creepier to me.....good luck.........deb

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Damn it, so looks like dinner is a pretty bad idea seeing from the responses.

Coffee sounds much better, but damn the worst thing I fear is not that she will reject me, but avoids me on purpose after she rejects me LOL

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