swing8861 Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Me and my bf are in search of fellow swingers in and around southern Indiana...or could anyone please point us in the right direction of a FREE singles/swingers sight so we can continue our search further. All the sites I've found so far are free till you get to the important stuff like, ya' know, actually talking to a person, lol...so HELP!
oldshirt Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Is this "BF" your 50something married boss with kids and you are the married 24 year old? The reason I ask is my wife and I have been swingers for several years and are pretty familiar with the swinging lifestyle. You are going to encounter a couple major obsticles that have nothing to do with paying to be on swing sites. #1 is actual swingers REALLY look down on cheaters. Swingers value things like openness and honesty and respecting their partners. Cheating is the fundamental opposite of what most swingers are all about. Swingers accept that people have attractions and sexual feelings for other people but they communicate about those feelings and work together as a couple so both partners can experience that pleasure and excitement and keep the passion within the marriage. Cheating is the exact opposite. It is selfish and disrespectfull when one person steps out of the marraige for sex and keeps the other at home unaware. People also dont want the drama and potential danger when their spouses find out and are enraged. But the biggest obsticle that you are going to encounter is the age difference between you and your boss. You are going to want to meet couples that are still somewhat young and in shape and attractive where as no other young attractive female is going to want your 50something year old boss getting anywhere near her. For some reason you may find him attractive but other young women wont. The only women he may stand a chance at are women around his age but most of their husbands are going to be balding, pot-bellied and even older yet. Are you going to want to get intimate with another man that is in his 50s or even 60s? And add to that that even if some older gal does think your boss is sexy, she is not going to want her 50 or 60 year old husband getting any bright ideas about being with a 24 year old. And for what it's worth, free swing sites really aren't worth the nonexistant money people pay for them. most of the folks on free sites are loner/losers, freaks, wierdos, fakes, dreamers and picture collectors. People that are serious about it and have a legitimate interest in swinging will gladly hand over the $20 a month it costs and will turn a blind eye to those who won't. Your best bet is probably to try Craigslist and hope you don't end up chained up under someone's crawlspace or try a cheater's website like Ashley Madison where you can meet up with other cheaters.
CarrieT Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 You are going to want to meet couples that are still somewhat young and in shape and attractive where as no other young attractive female is going to want your 50something year old boss getting anywhere near her. For some reason you may find him attractive but other young women wont. I have found this to be fundamentally the opposite - most swingers are older, flabby, and distinctly out of shape (at least in the circles I was swinging in when I did it). However, the rest of what you wrote is correct: Swingers are for married, committed couples - not two people in an affair who are lying to their spouses.
oldshirt Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I have found this to be fundamentally the opposite - most swingers are older, flabby, and distinctly out of shape (at least in the circles I was swinging in when I did it). I think you somehow misunderstood what I said somewhere along the line Carrie because that is what I am saying. Most swingers ARE older and flabbier and not good looking porn stars. Most of the swingers out there are going to be 20 years older than her and a lot fatter and balder and will not be attractive to her. She will want to meet younger and more attractive couples closer to her age and they will be very few and far between. And if they do come across a couple her age, that female half won't want anything to do with her 50 year old, married boss. You and I are both saying the same thing.
LoveTKO Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I never understood this whole swinger club concept, this idea in which a bunch of married or committed couples who want to experiment sexually decide get together and have sex with other couples. Isn't it more exciting if you happen to run into another couple or person in a non-swinger setting in order to experiment or get a thrill? Just knowing that you're going to hang out with people who are in "the lifestyle" and have had sex with a lot of other couples just takes the thrill and forbidden part away from the equation.
oldshirt Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I never understood this whole swinger club concept, this idea in which a bunch of married or committed couples who want to experiment sexually decide get together and have sex with other couples. Isn't it more exciting if you happen to run into another couple or person in a non-swinger setting in order to experiment or get a thrill? Just knowing that you're going to hang out with people who are in "the lifestyle" and have had sex with a lot of other couples just takes the thrill and forbidden part away from the equation. Spoken like a true nonswinger LOL It just doesn't really work out that way in real life though. Chemistry and attraction are such finicky things. It's actually pretty difficult to get two couples to click enough where there is enough mutual attraction and chemistry to actually play. There is usually at least one person that doesn't want to move forward to the bedroom when two couples meet. It's actually a lot easier for singles to pick up other singles in bars or for wayward spouses to cheat with other wayward spouses than it is for consenting couples to swing. Sure it could be exciting and challenging to pick up a vanilla couple in a nonswinging environment but the vast majority of people on the planet are anti-swinging and would not go for it so you'd just be spitting in the wind 99.999% of the time. If you are meeting with swingers in a swinger environment you are at least with people who are of relatively like-minds and have some of the same goals and objectives. and contrary to the general public's misconceptions. most swingers don't actually play all that often and most are not all that promiscuous and don't rack up big numbers of playmates but rather prefer to limit their play to a few compatable folks with whom they hit it off with well.
LoveTKO Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 Spoken like a true nonswinger LOL It just doesn't really work out that way in real life though. Chemistry and attraction are such finicky things. It's actually pretty difficult to get two couples to click enough where there is enough mutual attraction and chemistry to actually play. There is usually at least one person that doesn't want to move forward to the bedroom when two couples meet. It's actually a lot easier for singles to pick up other singles in bars or for wayward spouses to cheat with other wayward spouses than it is for consenting couples to swing. Sure it could be exciting and challenging to pick up a vanilla couple in a nonswinging environment but the vast majority of people on the planet are anti-swinging and would not go for it so you'd just be spitting in the wind 99.999% of the time. If you are meeting with swingers in a swinger environment you are at least with people who are of relatively like-minds and have some of the same goals and objectives. and contrary to the general public's misconceptions. most swingers don't actually play all that often and most are not all that promiscuous and don't rack up big numbers of playmates but rather prefer to limit their play to a few compatable folks with whom they hit it off with well. You have a point, but my experience has been different in the sense that I find it rather easy to pick up cues and hints from so called vanilla people who have decided that they're ready to experiment. I have been approached by several couples in the past who apparently wanted to try something different. It's crazy! Perhaps I exude some kind of vibe....who knows. As a matter of fact, there is this social group that I currently hang out with and this one attractive lady is very flirty with me in a seductive kind of way, making eye contact and flashing a coquettish smile, and right in front of her husband who doesn't seem to bat an eye. He is super nice to me, and something tells me he is into watching his wife.... From my experience, when people reach their mid 30's and up, a lot of couples become freaky
oldshirt Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 You have a point, but my experience has been different in the sense that I find it rather easy to pick up cues and hints from so called vanilla people who have decided that they're ready to experiment. I have been approached by several couples in the past who apparently wanted to try something different. It's crazy! Perhaps I exude some kind of vibe....who knows. As a matter of fact, there is this social group that I currently hang out with and this one attractive lady is very flirty with me in a seductive kind of way, making eye contact and flashing a coquettish smile, and right in front of her husband who doesn't seem to bat an eye. He is super nice to me, and something tells me he is into watching his wife.... From my experience, when people reach their mid 30's and up, a lot of couples become freaky I'm taking it you are a single lady? lots of people in and out of the swinger community are down with inviting another lady into their bedroom. It's a whole other thing for couples to play with other couples. For two couples to play there has to been a very elusive 4-way click and everyone has to be good with it. To invite another lady into the bedroom for the most part just the female half of the couple has to be good with it and the other lady has to be good with it. 99% of the time the male half with be good to go with whoever his wife picks as long as he can at least watch. A second woman in the bedroom is so highly saught after by so many couples that as a single gal you pretty much get to sit back and sort through the offers. For a couple looking for other couples it's not quite so easy.
oldshirt Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 From my experience, when people reach their mid 30's and up, a lot of couples become freaky On that point I agree with you:D:p:)
LoveTKO Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 I'm taking it you are a single lady? lots of people in and out of the swinger community are down with inviting another lady into their bedroom. It's a whole other thing for couples to play with other couples. For two couples to play there has to been a very elusive 4-way click and everyone has to be good with it. To invite another lady into the bedroom for the most part just the female half of the couple has to be good with it and the other lady has to be good with it. 99% of the time the male half with be good to go with whoever his wife picks as long as he can at least watch. A second woman in the bedroom is so highly saught after by so many couples that as a single gal you pretty much get to sit back and sort through the offers. For a couple looking for other couples it's not quite so easy. Lady?...lol....no I'm a guy. Men let me take their wives out.... I don't get it either ?!? I would never share my girl...ever, but some men are into seeing their wives in an XXX setting.
LoveTKO Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Some guys try too hard and act desperate as they're searching for ways to add some spice into their lives. I just act natural, make it a point to never initiate the topic of sex with a woman, make 'em laugh. Just flirt with your eyes and your smile and all sorts of crazy stuff will come your way.
teffwad78 Posted October 5, 2012 Posted October 5, 2012 Spoken like a true nonswinger LOL It just doesn't really work out that way in real life though. Chemistry and attraction are such finicky things. It's actually pretty difficult to get two couples to click enough where there is enough mutual attraction and chemistry to actually play. There is usually at least one person that doesn't want to move forward to the bedroom when two couples meet. It's actually a lot easier for singles to pick up other singles in bars or for wayward spouses to cheat with other wayward spouses than it is for consenting couples to swing. Sure it could be exciting and challenging to pick up a vanilla couple in a nonswinging environment but the vast majority of people on the planet are anti-swinging and would not go for it so you'd just be spitting in the wind 99.999% of the time. If you are meeting with swingers in a swinger environment you are at least with people who are of relatively like-minds and have some of the same goals and objectives. and contrary to the general public's misconceptions. most swingers don't actually play all that often and most are not all that promiscuous and don't rack up big numbers of playmates but rather prefer to limit their play to a few compatable folks with whom they hit it off with well. LOL... It would seem ignorance is bliss and no idea of who/why/what the whole swinging SCENE is about is rife eh.. We all are that cliche of just wanting to ruin that guys wife, **** around freely etc...WRONG WRONG. i L RUIN YA HUBBY TOO.MWAH HA HA.... Please before judgement and stereotyping to death, learn swinging in reality if you want, come with us to a club or just round here to ours, unlike uni, our education comes zero charge and enjoyable as hell...For as long as you desire..mmmmm hehehe:love:
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