vine49938 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 ok, i have never posted before, but i come to this site when i need advice, so what the heck, right? i am 30ish and the longest relationship i have ever been in is about 7 months. i am more often than not single. and when i am single, all i want is to be in a relationship with someone. so i get into a relationship with a guy, and then after a month, all i want is to be single again...what is my problem? i have been going out with this guy for about a month, and now i want to be single again. when i am single, i hook up with guys, but there is no commitment. now that i have a boyfriend, that is what i want. but as soon as i am single and start doing the hook up thing, then i start feeling bad about myself again and want to be in a relationship. do you know someone like me? can you give me some advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 i am 30ish and the longest relationship i have ever been in is about 7 months. i am more often than not single. and when i am single, all i want is to be in a relationship with someone. 1. You are terrified of commitment...OR 2. You get bored easily...OR 3. You have not yet met the right person....OR 4. No matter who you're with, you always think there's somebody better out there (and you're quite right)....OR 5. You are choosing to date persons you are not physically or intellectually attracted to....OR 6. You are putting out the wrong vibrations in order to attract interesting people into your life for dating....OR 7. You are simply looking too hard and you just need to relax and trust that the universe will bring good dating material to you if you just make yourself available....OR 8. You are way, way too picky, which is OK in some regards but people are human and there's nobody perfect out there. Best of luck to you! Have patience and don't make such a fuss of all this. When you are least concerned about this matter, the right person will come into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vine49938 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Share Posted August 25, 2008 how do i know if i am scared of commitment? i'm in my 30s now, and i always thought by this time in my life i would be married with children, but now that my 30s are actually here and i am still dating, i go into every relationship thinking this one is THE ONE. but shortly thereafter, i start thinking there may be someone better out there. will i know i am with the person i should be when i stop wanting something better? or even when you are with the "right" person, do you still want something better? i guess i am just so naive when it comes to relationships that i don't know what to expect or what i am looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
Kristine Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 Here's a tip my mom gave me following my 2nd divorce. Everyone has faults. You have to learn to accept those faults, because no one is going to meet all of your expectations. I think those words will help you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted August 25, 2008 Share Posted August 25, 2008 the fact that you never comitt would be a good indicator that your afraid to commit. Something happened to make you think this way. Next time you get in a relationship just enjoy it and try not to think about how great it is to be single... if getting married is something you want... I mean you live a spinster life if you want, or just keep dating and treat your life as if it were sex and the city... or is it sex in the city Link to post Share on other sites
jen's mind Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 Maybe you need to get to know yourself a little bit more and live in each moment. Thinking there is something better somewhere else is a way of avoiding experiencing the present. By chasing an unknown better, you're denying yourself the opportunity to get to know your partner and develop an intimate relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted September 4, 2008 Share Posted September 4, 2008 You haven't met the right person yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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