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Sister just set her wedding date 3 months before mine.


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Old 16th August 2018, 2:11 PM   #1
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Angry Sister just set her wedding date 3 months before mine.

My sister has just set her wedding date a mere three months before I'm due to get married.

I got engaged back in February this year, and me and my fiance set our date the day we got engaged for 31st October 2020. Me and my sister are really close, so much so that I bucked tradition and asked her to be my best man.

Skip forward to last month and she announces she's engaged. Now, me and my fiance have a lot of weddings to go to in 2020 as well as having our own and I told my sister this, and she kept being really cagey about when she was planning hers. She'd previously told me she didn't want 2019 because it was the same year she is maid of honour at her best friend's wedding, so by that logic I was expecting her to say 2021. Today she's asked me to be part of her bridal party, and when I asked when her wedding is she's said summer 2020!

Am I right to be really upset by this?
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Old 16th August 2018, 2:40 PM   #2
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I don't really get what the problem is? It's not the same day as your wedding right?

What makes you upset about the situation?
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Old 16th August 2018, 2:41 PM   #3
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Personally, I would never tell anyone when to have their wedding. I don't see a problem with her having her wedding 3 months before yours. It isn't like it's the same day.
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Old 16th August 2018, 3:08 PM   #4
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Even though you got engaged first & set your date, you get your wedding day, not all of 2020. If you are upset because far away family members will have to chose between your wedding & hers because they can't afford to some to yours, it remains their choice. If that is your concern, get your save the date cards out before hers. Otherwise you can feel upset but you don't have grounds to say anything.
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Old 16th August 2018, 3:12 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dicky_fish View Post
She'd previously told me she didn't want 2019 because it was the same year she is maid of honour at her best friend's wedding, so by that logic I was expecting her to say 2021.

Am I right to be really upset by this?
^^^^ 2021?? Dude, it is 2018.

No. No right at all. Get over it.
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Old 16th August 2018, 4:19 PM   #6
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^^^^ 2021?? Dude, it is 2018.

No. No right at all. Get over it.
Also- surely you want to spend more time being married? Rather than spending 3 whole years planning a wedding? I'm not married- but I personally don't see the point in everything being about a wedding. I'd just want my BF as my husband!
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Old 16th August 2018, 4:51 PM   #7
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I read your post 3 times, and I still dont understand what you are upset about.
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Old 16th August 2018, 5:06 PM   #8
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It's nice to see such unanimous responses on a thread it happens so rarely.



I'll add my vote to the masses and say you are completely out of line.
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Old 16th August 2018, 5:57 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by dicky_fish View Post
I got engaged back in February this year, and me and my fiance set our date the day we got engaged for 31st October 2020.
Wow, a two-and-a-half year engagement? Since I have a USA prespective, is that the norm in the UK?

Maybe you could help us by letting us know what date range for your sister's wedding would cause you less concern...

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Old 16th August 2018, 6:03 PM   #10
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Ah, sisterly love... They are the best!

It's over two years away... I'm sure you haven't sent the invitations out yet. If you don't like it, change your date!
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Old 16th August 2018, 9:09 PM   #11
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I can see where it will be expensive and busy for your mutual friends and family, but other than that, I don't see that it matters at all. Brides have a tendency to start thinking that everyone is going to be paying attention to all their wedding details and paying special attention to them and, frankly, caring more than they actually will. I think sometimes that's why things like this get overblown, as if someone is stealing your thunder. It's just not true. The only thing is people having to buy two presents in a three-month span.

You may not realize it, but you have the upper hand here because whatever she does, you have time to top it. Start being a little secretive about your plans so she can't steal any of them. I have heard of that happening. Don't have her help you plan, in other words, or maybe not even your mother, who might say, Well, why ____has a good idea. Why don't you do the same thing? So you might have to be more hands-on to keep that from happening if you think your sister's taste runs parallel to your own or that she might be lazy and take the already researched way out.
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Old 16th August 2018, 9:21 PM   #12
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I say you should "1 up her".



Change your wedding date to 3 months before hers.
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Old 16th August 2018, 9:46 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by dicky_fish View Post
I was expecting her to say 2021.
Put off getting married for a whole year making it an almost 3 year engagement.. yikes...big thing to expect from someone.

I can't see why you wouldn't just be happy with it...

I also doubt she did it to show you up but because it would be making the engagement too long.
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Old 16th August 2018, 10:47 PM   #14
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That long of an engagement seems a little ridiculous. The issue seems to be more centered around your wedding than on the marriage itself. Instead of worrying about your sister’s wedding, I’d worry about the big let-down you and your wife are likely to feel once the Disneyland event is over and you get back to real life.

Based on your sister’s hesitancy to tell you about her long engagement, she apparently anticipated your reaction to her wedding date selection. I’m curious about why that is.
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Old 16th August 2018, 11:02 PM   #15
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Question...Why did you ask her to be your best man? Maybe that made her upset because she's not a man.

That could be why she respects her friend's wedding year but not yours.

Will she wear a tux?
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