joeandmee Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 What do you know about their 1st and their relationship? Me and FI have a really good open communication system and i'm really happy he opened up to me about their dynamic and the difference with ours. I've never felt wierd or jealous or even curious about FB stalking her or seeing a picture of her or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 27, 2017 Share Posted February 27, 2017 I only ever dated one person who had previously been married. I knew how long that marriage was. I knew where they lived & why they divorced -- she cheated. A friend of mine married a man. She was his 4th wife! I thought she was crazy for getting involved especially since she didn't find out that there had been 3 previous wives until she was already engaged to him. She knew about 2 not 3. Time proved me wrong. It's been 17 years & they are still together & happy. I don't think 2 of his marriages lasted 17 months. So you never know. Link to post Share on other sites
MrInternational Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 No, I'm married. But if I were single, the only way I'd be a second spouse is if she were a widow and she'd been faithful to him until he died. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well, the divorce stats in the US show likelihood of divorce increases with each prior marriage. That said, nearly all my friends' second or third marriages all lasted decades. Maybe a slob learns to pick up after himself or help around the house. Maybe a little maturity teaches them not to get sucked in by a manipulator. Maybe one reaches an age where they are no longer as tempted to cheat. So you should never discount someone because they've been married before . Most of the time it's just people who were idealistic and married too young and grew apart or one of them never grew up. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 17, 2017 Share Posted March 17, 2017 At my age, if I were to remarry, it would have to be with someone that has been married once already. I am not going to raise a man into a husband at this time in my life. He needs to know how the program works already. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 What do you know about their 1st and their relationship? the basics. we don't really discuss our X partners & we never compare our relationship to the previous ones. we do discuss our failed marriages - WHY did they fail, what went wrong, what did we learn from it... what did bother us & so on. but those discussions are always directed at the topic of love in GENERAL, not the Xrelationship/Xpartner specifically. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 I'm in my first marriage but to know the basics of someone's previous partner is enough. Too much detail brings the unwanted person in the relationship and who wants that ? If they talk too much about them , then they are not over them. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 (edited) lf we do it'd be both our second.God never thought l'd be saying that. Anyway look l don't mind and tbh l think it's even beneficial, Your both older and wiser and been there and made mistakes and hopefully have a whole new understanding and persistence and reality check and anything else l've missed. Yknow, l think it could be a good thing. l'd be much more worried about her if she'd never been married or had any long term thing than the fact that she has. Edited March 23, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 If I found myself single again, I wouldn't mind being a second spouse but only if the man understood while his marriage ended and learned from it. I would need to see a cordial relationship with his ex wife if it was necessary and he would have to be divorced for at least three years before I would marry him. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 (edited) My gf does worry me just a bit in that way bc she says she was the perfect w. So that's a tiny bit of a worry bc no one is the perfect w or h, they often just don't realize or acknoledge what they were actual like. l do know l effd up and how but l also know that so did my ex, and that life also got on top of us both. And admittedly l'd be more comfortable gf acknowledging some things even l can see that did have part in him leaving. Edited March 25, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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