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Is it rude to ask guests to travel for the wedding?


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My fiance and I are both from a metropolitan area, and weddings are quite expensive if we stay "in town" where most of our families live. So we were thinking of going up north a bit to save on costs and also to fulfill my fantasy of a "country" wedding. We found a place about 3 hours away from home. Its perfect: cheap, lakeside and in the heart of the country.

 

So my question is, is it rude to ask people to travel three hours for a wedding?

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It isn't rude at all. But keep in mind it is their choice to come or not....just like it was your choice to have a destination wedding. I'm going to a wedding that requires a $500+ plane ticket plus an additional $300 for hotel. I can't afford a gift. Is it rude? maybe but.....I'm assuming my presence there is wanted more than a gift.

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So my question is, is it rude to ask people to travel three hours for a wedding?
You send out invitations. People RSVP. Those who can travel, travel. Those who cannot send their regrets. It's your wedding. Enjoy :)

 

ETA, my exW and I got married in Hawaii and then had a local reception later.

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heartshaped

I don't think a three hour drive is that bad, but with gas prices what they are today, it might be hard on some.

 

Also, have you considered getting some sort of accommodation for you and perhaps your bridal party or can you prepare at the venue? I don't know how much you are planning to do on the day of as far as getting your hair done that day etc etc, but it does take quite a while to get ready so if you plan on driving you'll have to add in that three hour drive.

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Mutant Debutante

I don't think it's rude, just don't be mad if a lot of people can't come.

 

Might be a smart way to keep your wedding smaller/more manageable.

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Star Gazer

5 of the 6 weddings I was/am invited to this season (so far) require either a 3 hour drive or a plane flight. All require hotels. It's pretty much the norm these days...

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I agree with the others. It's not rude, but don't be surprised if not all of your prospective guests RSVP in the affirmative as it could be difficult for some to make the trip.

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Lol, it's not rude at all. Distant family needs to travel, right? I've been invited to weddings in Texas before, and I live in Pennsylvania! I couldn't travel, but it's just ...normal to invite whoever you can. Those who can and are willing to travel for the wedding will come. Otherwise, there's usually good reason if they don't show up. (Can't afford to travel or otherwise.)

 

To think that it's rude is like thinking that you should move your own wedding location to inconvience yourself just so more people can come..

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That's not rude. And a three hour drive really isn't much. My family is gonna have to travel 2,000 miles up north and into a different country when I get married one day. So I think that distance is reasonable, especially if it helps you have your dream wedding at a more economical price point.

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  • 1 month later...

So my question is, is it rude to ask people to travel three hours for a wedding?

 

NO its your wedding and you should have exactly what you want. I have driven 8 hours for a wedding and flown from cali to amelia island in florida. My sister got married in Hawaii and then again in vegas and in one month I am getting Married on Lanai in Hawaii. Those who can come will come and those who cant wont. Your not obligated to make your guests happy unless you have like 200 guests. Just have a small reception when you return for those who couldn't go. But three hours is drivable include a nearby hotel and get a block of rooms at a discount. This is your day you should do what you want especially if your paying for it and thats whats in your budget. I am asking 20 people to fly to Lanai where the only hotels are two Four Seasons! But only those who wanted to come are coming....

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no it isn't just be understanding if they can come. Those who really want to share your day will be there. I have traveled across the country for weddings and mine is in Lanai. I invited all my friends and family. 20 are coming including my two best friends and my fiances grooms men and 5 of our other friends so we are lucky. They are coming all the way to lanai and staying at the Four Seasons. We may have a small party when we get back to include those who couldn't make it...

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Lauriebell82

I wouldn't say it's rude, but I would expect a lot of people not to come because of it. That happened to us with my husband's side of the family. Most of them didn't come because it would have been a 5 hour drive for them.

 

So if you would like a wedding out of town then go for it, but over-invite because a lot of them will decline to come unfortunately. :(

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Desert Rose

I don't think it's rude! .. actually I have been invited in many weddings that were far away, in the end of the day...it's your day and you are the one who decide where and how it should be ...

 

JUST ENJOY IT! :D

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make me believe

I got married 2 hours from home and initially had the same worries as you. But everyone who was invited came (all 15 of them :laugh:), and nobody complained about the travel or hotel expenses. Actually, most of them loved having an excuse to get out of town & stay at a nice resort in a beautiful area!

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Eddie Edirol

A 3 hour drive would be a GREAT excuse for me to avoid a wedding. A 3 hour drive is one tank of gas, so its not a big deal for people to go if they dont want to get a hotel. It'll be a great filter to know who your real friends are. Whoever is local and it seems like they are lying about their excuse, you know who to avoid after the wedding.

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