Something Blue Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I hope no one minds me asking such a trivial question here, but here it goes. I'm getting married in Jamaica on May 17th. My question is, what's the etiquette regarding invitations to a wedding in a place like this? I've done a little research but have found answers that go both way. Some say that invitations can still be done, that way you can invite everyone that you love and they can join you for the ceremony if they can afford it. Then some say that announcements should be the only thing you do, sent after the wedding is complete. And that it'll look like you're fishing for gifts if you send out invitations to a wedding that most people obviously won't be able to go to, thus announcements are the way to go. My gut feeling is that we should send out invitations to everyone that we would have invited had we had our wedding locally. That way nobody's feelings get hurt because everyone was invited just the same, and those who can afford it can join us if they want. Basically, I just wanted to get other's opinions on this matter. I'm not looking for a right or wrong answer. How would you feel if you got an invitation to a wedding like this? Would you rather receive an announcement than an invitation? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I don't know the etiquette, but here's what I think. I think you should send out some kind of announcement/invitation before the wedding, letting everyone know what you are doing, and that they are free to come down and join you. This is only fair--you know most of them probably won't be able to come, but you might have some surprises on who wants to come. I would see it as being different than a standard wedding invitation, more of a mix between an invitation and an announcement. Frame it as a chance for that long awaited vacation--really sell the resort, and let people know what types of activities are available there and nearby. (You might get more people to show up that way.) I also think you should be sure to make it easy for people--i.e. block off a number of rooms (like people do for normal weddings--maybe you can get a deal), possibly provide some flight information (i.e. you should fly into this airport, and both Delta and United serve this airport, or you can get a direct flight from XX to XX for about $XXX on Delta, etc.), let them know your arrival and departure dates, possibly plan a "reception" at the resort so people can mingle, maybe a brunch or something, etc. I also think you should add a "Gifts not necessary" type of disclaimer. People who want to send you gifts will still do so, and it's kind of tacky to expect people to both join you in Jamaica and give you a wedding gift. After all, you want them there to spend the time with you and your fiance, right, not necessarily get the toaster oven. And it's also (I think) equally tacky to expect them to send a gift when there is no way they can afford the wedding, and aren't even getting a reception/dinner out of the deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I wouldn't expect anyone to invite me to fricken Jamaica for a wedding. Why not just make the ceremony for close family members, etc, and then have a party or get together afterwards to celebrate the new marriage? I think people would understand not being invited. I mean, I'm sorry but that's too much to ask someone to do...although a trip would be nice...the expenses...lodging...and vacation time from work...just seems too much for a wedding of a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I agree with Ally. People I've known who had weddings abroad (Hawaii, Barbados, etc).....it was usually JUST for immediate family.....and then once they got back home, there would be some kind of reception there, for the rest of friends and family who obviously couldn't attend. They'd either rent a banquet room or small hall and do it there, or depending on the amount of people who'd be attending, might have it in someone's home (large home). Some have just had more of a "social".....where the 'after reception' is pretty much just a dance, an opportunity to mingle, just some appetizers and desserts served. So if you want to go this way, your invitation could just be more of an announcement of your wedding in Jamaica....and somehow word it in there that there will be a(n) (informal) reception on such and such a date, when you've returned. If you're not sure how to word it, I believe that a lot of places that sell/make up wedding invitations..they usually have some type of consultant there, who could better advise you on how to word things, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 The idea of a wedding/honeymoon is very tempting. The one thing you should consider is: Is there someone you would normally invite but who would drive you crazy if they were at the same resort with you for seven days straight? I'm kinda leaning towards inviting everyone. They can show up or not, it's up to them. The close family idea I do agree with, but the problem for many is that they have very close friends who are like family - would you invite them? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Have your wedding in Jamaica with the handful of friends and relatives that have expressed an interest in buying a ticket and getting a hotel there. Send invitations for a nice reception to be held in your town when you return and have all your friends and relatives attend. It could just be a nice party where everybody pays respects to the newlyweds and nobody feels left out. You can have it as simple or as lavish as you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
Kbear71 Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 I was in a similar situation. My husband and I were married at Disneyworld, and our family lives in Minnesota. One of the reason I picked Disney was that it combined the wedding and honeymoon into one. I knew that I would not want family around the whole week that I was there. I was upfront with family members and made it a point to let them know that this was going to be a "solo" event between my husband and I. We decided that we would have a huge reception a few weeks later-including our wedding pictures and mementos. Let me tell you that there was absolutely NO STRESS involved at my wedding. I did not have to worry about hotel reservations or flight reservations for families/friends, dinner get together or privacy. Your family and friends are not going to want to stay just for the ceremony. They will want to stay the entire week or so leaving you very little "alone time." Think about having your ceremony broadcasted over the internet, so that family and friends can still see it. This also can be done through videotaping and showing it at the reception. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 What a GREAT idea, Kbear71!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts