A date with her ex-friend?

[Neuralgia]

If you didn't read my post before, this was my previous situation - a close friend started flirting with me, groped me at a party. We've slept together before. I have had feelings for her for a while, decided with the advice I received on here to just tell her. Didn't get the response I hoped for and told her I understood and I backed off completely.

 

I've decided to go on a few dates, not looking for anything serious at the moment but thought I'd meet new women and I enjoy getting to know people, if anything happened serious in the future then that's great. However, a mate of mine set me up with this girl who I didn't know was friends with "B" (the friend who I had told I had feelings for her). We've already arranged to meet this weekend for a date, I booked a table in town and only today I found out her and B were friends, had some drama and are no longer friends and apparently dislike each other.

 

Now I'm at the point where I don't really know what to do. Does it matter if I go on this date or will it come back to bite me and harm my friendship with B that I still have? I don't think she would find out, but I suppose that isn't the point.

[Lotsgoingon]

Friend B doesn't want to date you ... Therefore (unless something is off) she'll be fine with you dating someone else, even a friend.

 

She might feel a pang of jealousy ... but I don't quite get your thinking. B will likely be happy you're no longer targeting her because she's not interested. She will likely feel less awkward around you.

 

B won't care (other than an initial pang of jealousy--possibly!) ... that you're dating one of her friends ... and you're not even dating one of her friends. You're going out on a date with one of her friends.

 

Go for it.

[shydad]

We've slept together before. I have had feelings for her for a while ... I've decided to go on a few dates, not looking for anything serious ... I found out her and B were friends, had some drama and are no longer friends and apparently dislike each other. ... Does it matter if I go on this date or will it come back to bite me and harm my friendship with B that I still have?

 

Are you 100% certain that you won't develop feelings for the new woman, and that it will remain "not serious"? If it DOES become serious, your history with "B" will not be a good thing at all.

 

With that said, if the friendship with "B" is what's most important, and if you think there is potential for her getting upset if she finds out, maybe you should just ask her if she's ok with it.

[crispytoast]

Hey Neuralgia good to see you here again. Personally, I try to avoid dating people who have history with other people I've dated or slept with. It tends to breed drama. The day may come where you might have to pick one or end up with neither. However, you've already been on a few dates with this woman so it's a little late for that. If you actually like this woman, then go for it. "B" should not care if she is truly your friend, and if she does care, well is she really a very good friend?

[Neuralgia]

@shydad, I don't think I would develop feelings for her. If I'm honest, this girl is rather sexually-flirtatious and really suggestive towards me, the most that would happen between us would probably be sleeping together and that's about it. Sorry if I sound like an ass, but I am single and want to have fun and she knows this as I've made it clear.

 

@crispytoast, good to see you, man! I'm not into this girl in that way, I'm planning on dating around and I don't want to rush into any relationship right now. Kind of just want to focus on me for a while. At the same time, I don't want drama or to be disrespectful to anyones feelings. Both her and B's feelings.

 

I haven't really spoken to B other than a few days ago when I text her to apologize for confessing my feelings, and mentioned that I didn't want it to be "awkward". She replied saying "don't apologize unless you didn't mean it, it's not awkward". Anyway, I've left her well alone and we're back to having our normal friendship. So thanks for your advice on that one @ toast. It helped. : )