Monkeyguy8070 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 So this girl who I’ve been wanting to date for a year now (we’ve been friends) finally told me that we’re best friends now. She has told me she will date me once she gets feels towards me but she hasn’t gotten those yet. Well I just get my mind off her. I think about her every minute of the day. I try to do other things to take my mind off her. But no matter what I simply can’t. How do I stop thinking about her so much? I know one day she’ll date me but until then I just can’t stop obsessing about her. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 She will never get the feelings for you. You don't have to be best friends before you date, you either like each other or don't. If you really want to get over her, dump her as a "best friend". Why should she worry when you are always around? Doesn't seem like you are dating anyone else to be w/her. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 You won't stop thinking about her as long as she's your "best friend". Being in regular contact will keep her at the top of your head and heart and keep your hope alive. She's known you for a year - if she was going to get the feels for you she would have already. Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 (edited) The correct formula when you get friendzoned is showing her a message with such content: "Honey, I love you and I wish to build a meaningful romantic relationship with you, so I don't accept friendship or anything that's not it. Let me know when you've changed your mind." And then you walk away and never look back. You do this by deploying No Contact, cease all contact with her (until she reaches back), go out, date other women and do everything that you like to improve yourself. The formulas for almost every situations are already there, but most of us just refuse to learn them because we are too blinded and overwhelmed by emotions. Edited January 19, 2019 by thaygiaogiang 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Stop hanging around her so much...make yourself scarce. When you become distance, she will miss you....let her keep missing you. Maybe just maybe her feelings will grow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art Anderson Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 So this girl who I’ve been wanting to date for a year now (we’ve been friends) finally told me that we’re best friends now. She has told me she will date me once she gets feels towards me but she hasn’t gotten those yet. Well I just get my mind off her. I think about her every minute of the day. I try to do other things to take my mind off her. But no matter what I simply can’t. How do I stop thinking about her so much? I know one day she’ll date me but until then I just can’t stop obsessing about her. In truth, you really don't know if she'll ever date you. The more time that goes by, it will actually be less likely. She might just get some satisfaction out of thinking that there are guys out there that want her but that's where she'll keep them; out there. The popular term is "orbiting" as in, you and who knows how many other guys are put in her imaginary orbit. You just have to get your head to a rational place instead of idolizing her. You can do it. Don't think about the "what if's". Think about her actual actions up to this point and start to exclaim, "yeah, she never ..." "I never got ..." until you tip the balance to being your own man and chalking it up to history. All this you can do as a thinking/feeling individual, without resorting to the Alpha/Beta cover my butt BS that's flying around these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Monkeyguy - You must go no contact now and block her on all social media (whatever that entails these days), just as the other posters have said. How will you feel (or react) if, while you are best friends, she find the love of her life even if it is a short passionate affair. It will drive you crazy. Like I told our son when he was in high school, don't developed a passion for one girl to the exclusion of all others. Go out and date many girls and look to see which one has a mad passion for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Osho Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 She knows she can have you. That’s no fun for her. Pull back lose feelings. Fake it till you make it and she will either go for you or she won’t but in the end you will have gotten over her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sabaton Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 So this girl who I’ve been wanting to date for a year now (we’ve been friends) finally told me that we’re best friends now. She has told me she will date me once she gets feels towards me but she hasn’t gotten those yet. Well I just get my mind off her. I think about her every minute of the day. I try to do other things to take my mind off her. But no matter what I simply can’t. How do I stop thinking about her so much? I know one day she’ll date me but until then I just can’t stop obsessing about her. She basically told you she feels no sexual attraction for you, and that she sees you as her baby brother. She's not interested in dating you, but because she doesn't want to lose the attention/validation/money you are spending on her in the hopes that one day she'll magically sleep with you because you're such a good guy - she tells you that one day she might date you. Well I just get my mind off her. I think about her every minute of the day. I try to do other things to take my mind off her. But no matter what I simply can’t. Make use of the services of psychologists. Go into therapy. You will never sleep with this woman. Next time you want to sleep or date with a woman go ahead and hit on her. Don't become her ''friend.'' Take a chance and if you are rejected, just shrug it off and meet new women. Stop talking to your best ''friend''. Block her on all social media. Avoid the same places she goes to, for as long as it takes for you to get your mind off her. Eventually it will happen. I wanted to sleep with this girl so bad, but I wasn't aesthetic enough for her, so what I did was to sleep with other women to forget her. It worked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art Anderson Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 I wanted to sleep with this girl so bad, but I wasn't aesthetic enough for her, so what I did was to sleep with other women to forget her. It worked. A Hollywood actress from the 50s/60s said "The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." Link to post Share on other sites
ShadeOfGreen Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 So this girl who I’ve been wanting to date for a year now (we’ve been friends) finally told me that we’re best friends now. She has told me she will date me once she gets feels towards me but she hasn’t gotten those yet. Well I just get my mind off her. I think about her every minute of the day. I try to do other things to take my mind off her. But no matter what I simply can’t. How do I stop thinking about her so much? I know one day she’ll date me but until then I just can’t stop obsessing about her. It sucks that she doesn't feel the same way you do. I wouldn't put anymore effort into trying to get her to date you. She knows you are interested, and she knows how to contact you if she changes her mind. However, I think it's healthiest to assume she won't change her mind. If you want to stop thinking about her so much, then place your attention towards dating other people. The more you spend time thinking about this girl is less time being made available for other opportunities. I'd also pull back from the friendship. It's never the same after feelings are made known, and awkward when not reciprocated. Link to post Share on other sites
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