Sheilia Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 Please help I have recently separated from a very toxic relationship and have been in an abusive relationship for over 8 years. Mental abuse from a narcissistic person. I have had a few dates recently however the man who is interested in me now is really nice and has great values and is very affectionate he buys me gifts and is really a straight shooter and very kind person. However, I am not attracted to him physically. I was intimate with him and yes he was amazing. He kinda ticks all my boxes but I am just not attracted to him when I look at his features. Am I being unreasonable? because I really don't know how to process this. My man understands that I have been abused mentally and I am finding it hard to even touch him. But I am unsure if this is because I have been abused or is it that I am not that attracted to him like his body etc. Otherwise, I think this man is amazing a great communicator and he truly wants the best for me. Thank you for helping. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 is he really physically unattractive or is he not the bad boys type? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Trouble is during abuse, you tend to get addicted to the very high highs and the very low lows. Normal and ordinary guys may not cut it for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 You will have to ask yourself if you have the patience and discipline to wait and see if you are physically attracted in the future - you will have to consider if you really need fireworks in order to be physically attracted. You are subconsciously accustomed to the abuser - so normal relationships are going to be like a candlelight compared to the fireworks of your past abusive relationship. You might end up mildly physically attracted, but maybe you can live with that? Men aren't perfect just like women aren't perfect. You should at the same time get counseling to help you come down to Earth from this past abusive relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 You were attracted enough to have great sex. I assume you want more than that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sheilia Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 Hey thank you for helping I think he is like a bad boy physical appearance I never had the experience as I am very small women the best personality type thought Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sheilia Posted January 18, 2019 Author Share Posted January 18, 2019 Thank you Yes I have had some councilling. I appreciate what you say I think in time I might be able to be attracted to the qualities of a man who wants to give me the world, as well as knowing that not all people are perfect considering I came from a mental abuse environment just finding someone kind is a blessing. Link to post Share on other sites
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