FMW Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 I recently entered into a FWB relationship with a guy I've been friends with for 3 years. For various reasons neither of us see this progressing into anything more. We love each other as friends and are both taking breaks from looking for other relationships but miss the physical connection with another person. We agreed to be sexually exclusive and have both been tested for STDs since our last partners and agree to tell the other if we want to get involved with someone else so we can end the arrangement. We're both in our early-mid 50s. It's been about 6 weeks now and all seems to be going well. But I'm wondering how long it's reasonable to expect that to continue? Most things I've heard and read about FWB is that one person usually starts wanting more. So the question is what's the life expectancy for FWB? Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Hello Glad to hear you have someone who makes you happy. In my single adult days, I had three GF’s/FWB who all quickly veered off course and became increasingly strident in their requests to make things more serious. I started with all three of them (not overlapping ) with the understanding that it was all just for fun and good times without any promise of any commitment (other than just being nice to each other). All three ended up intimating or outright saying that they wanted a committment and even a LTR that would eventually lead to engagement. YIKES. I tried to dial things back but it seemed like anything I said fell on deaf ears. Two of these ladies even offered that I could have action on the side as long as I kept them in first position. YIKES. That was just too much for me and I couldn’t continue. I like to think that I ended up with a long time FWB (over 25 years) who also is my spouse . Levity aside, I don’t mean to dismiss your question. I am sure opinions and experiences with vary, but for me, it didn’t work well “way back when”. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 So the question is what's the life expectancy for FWB? I think most don't last very long - a few months to a year. Mine have lasted 7 years for one (still very close friends, but no longer lovers), and 8 years for another (and that one may resume soon, as we've remained friends even while she was in another relationship for a while). My shortest lasted about a year, and ended a couple of years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 I’m a woman and I’ve only been fwb’ing For the last four years, since my divorce. I’ve had several including three that have lasted three years or more. I would never want an exclusive fwb relationship. To me that defeats the purpose. Right now, I do want an exclusive relationship with a boyfriend, but when I didn’t want a boyfriend it was because I wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted without answering to anybody. So, I am sure my fwb relationships would never have lasted this long if they’d been exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FMW Posted January 15, 2019 Author Share Posted January 15, 2019 The reason we agreed to be sexually exclusive is that we're both pretty paranoid about STDs. He was the one that actually brought the issue up first, before we had any serious intention of doing this. Plus I don't like to share! Seriously, I feel like there's kind of an ick factor to having multiple concurrent sexual partners. We all have our own weird rules I guess! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 15, 2019 Share Posted January 15, 2019 Most of my FWB encounters lasted a couple months to a year... I had one that lasted just shy of 3 years, but I wouldn't consider that the norm. If both of you are having fun, don't put an expiration date on it. Life is short enjoy yourself!! Link to post Share on other sites
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