Texting Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 My guy friend and I started flirting... but we were still building on the friendship and it was very special to me. Someone then told him that I have feelings for him and asked if he had feelings for me. He was extremely angry with me and avoided me. The friendship nearly ended and is a lot different now. Why would he have been so angry? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Generally when someone is angry with us, they tell us why. Did he not tell you why he was angry? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 A lot of guys think it's abnormal for women to talk to their friends about personal stuff and it's not ;however, it certainly was wrong to talk to someone who you couldn't trust to keep it to herself. If you're going to gossip about people you have to realize some of it is going to leak out but you certainly don't go telling this sort of thing to someone who isn't the least bit trustworthy and now you know this person isn't. They betrayed you and they put him on the spot and made him feel like he was being talked about behind his back. Now he feels he has to declare himself or back off entirely because this interrupted the flow. Plus quite honestly you never know if that friend was after him herself or he was after her and felt like this messed up his chances. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 23, 2018 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Is this the same guy who tells you when you're overstepping his boundaries? Could it be that he has no romantic interest in you and is mad because it's all gotten out of hand? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Sounds like he does like you but doesnt what anyone to know. Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted October 27, 2018 Share Posted October 27, 2018 hi texting. I guess some people are just private. maybe he wanted to build up a proper friendship with you slowly to get to know you as a person and a third party (that sounds a bit immature) stepped in to add their own little interference. I guess it was one thing for this other person to tell him you liked him (if you were ok with that). but either way, it was not that other person's business to ask whether he (the guy you liked) liked you back in such a confronting manner, as it is clear in life that some people have motives, and I agree with preraph about the gossip thing. and do you actually know 100% what the other person said to him or is it what they are telling you was said or what happened?! if you like this dude, then maybe its time to get together with him and talk this over with him and share your thoughts and feelings about now and then and ask him for his. you might learn more about things and it will help you avoid similar mistakes in the future. you almost lost a friend over someone else's just wanting to know because they feel they want to know, and because of this persons social interference! (even if it was well meant and they saw it as harmless) it was rather childish in itself and was clearly not appropriate for how the guy is as a person in himself. as for fancying you? only HE can tell you if he did, or does still. the fact that you don't get why he would be angry suggests that you have not perhaps been that sensitive to his feelings and maybe might have stepped in to talk to him about this sooner if it did get out of control. be mindful now he is back in your close group again as if you guys cant talk together intimately or in fun without others around you getting themselves involved and sharing it possibly with others they know, then you need to also think about your social groups and how you are going to tackle that side of things, as I don't think your close guy friend is going to give you a second chance in that way (if you get back to where you were again) if something like that ever happens again for him! your network sound w bit immature or possibly you might be a bit that way too if you were aware that a friend might ask a personal question on your behalf...but I don't know whether you knew or not that this person was or would be asking on your behalf. its a bit high school in that respect. (the third person asking etc...) is this guy older than you? he sounds as though he might be... so if you haven't already, just talk to him. he deserves to know what went on and so do you! good luck, maxi. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Wow, I can think of worse injustices in the world than being told by a third party that a particular woman I know likes me. Wow, that would really be unsettling ... so unfair ... so unjust .... Seriously, what in the world is this guy mad about? ... The only thing I can guess ... really a guess ... is perhaps this guy just really wants to be friends with you ... and not lovers ... but ... just writing what I wrote ... his reaction still makes no sense. You never saw a strange side of him like this before? Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 Wow, I can think of worse injustices in the world than being told by a third party that a particular woman I know likes me. Wow, that would really be unsettling ... so unfair ... so unjust .... Seriously, what in the world is this guy mad about? Yeah, seriously, this guy needs to get a real problem. The only reason I can guess why he's mad is if he thought the original poster put her friend up to it instead of asking him directly... Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) My guy friend and I started flirting... but we were still building on the friendship and it was very special to me. Someone then told him that I have feelings for him and asked if he had feelings for me. He was extremely angry with me and avoided me. The friendship nearly ended and is a lot different now. Why would he have been so angry? Whoever told him you had feelings was in the wrong. Was not their place to say anything because that conversation was for you two. If this guy cares for you, he will talk to you about it. Anyone who is worth having in your life will communicate and work through the problems with you because they want you to be in their future as a friend or something more. Give him space and don't contact him. Don't give him a tight deadline but don't give him so much time that you are driven insane. I'd give a 3 month time-frame tops. Let him deal with whatever it is he is dealing with. You did nothing wrong. If he doesn't reach out to by then, he wasn't worth it. Trust me. Stay strong and return your energy to your own life for now - Beach Edited November 1, 2018 by Beachead Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 well, hi texting, just wondering what happened to the situation in the end? was the friendship saved, what happened to the interfering but im sure well meaning friend? did you get together? did you talk to him about this situation? (and if not, why not?) what happened? maxi. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 Unless he's angry because the person you told is someone he's interested in and now he can't move forward with her. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted November 28, 2018 Share Posted November 28, 2018 If I had to guess I'd say he likes you, but I could be wrong.... I guess that's not much help. Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted December 5, 2018 Share Posted December 5, 2018 OP: Can you give us an example of his anger? Avoiding or ignoring you doesn't mean he's angry at you. He's likely just uncomfortable around you or uncomfortable about the situation and what was said. Some people just ghost or shut down to avoid having to talk about something that makes them uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Trojan Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 Perhaps he was upset that you didn’t come to him first. He probably would have wanted you to open up to him instead of getting other people involved. Try asking him why he was upset. Link to post Share on other sites
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