OK to ask out receptionist at PT place

[max3732]

There is a receptionist I've been trying to flirt with (not sure how successfully) where I'm doing physical therapy. We've only talked twice and at first she was very business like, but I've been able to get her to open up a bit more and she shared a little bit about her family and interests. I'm thinking of asking her out, but it's a pretty small place and the owner or therapist are usually walking around and are often within earshot. Plus other patients could always come in while we're talking.

 

Next time we're talking would I just say something like "it's been nice talking to you can I have your number"? Or how would that work? Aside from getting rejected I'm afraid about making things awkward going back there for therapy if I'm overheard or she tells the owner. Would that be embarrassing?

[carhill]

When's your PT over?

 

As long as you have a good track record with handling rejection, IMO approach when you feel attraction. I mention the rejection part because it's always a potential and in any interaction where an association such as provider/client needs to continue, it's how you handle it that describes that.

 

I've asked out vendors and customers with varying degrees of success/failure and it was a good learning experience. Only way to know is to go.

[coolheadal]

There is a receptionist I've been trying to flirt with (not sure how successfully) where I'm doing physical therapy. We've only talked twice and at first she was very business like, but I've been able to get her to open up a bit more and she shared a little bit about her family and interests. I'm thinking of asking her out, but it's a pretty small place and the owner or therapist are usually walking around and are often within earshot. Plus other patients could always come in while we're talking.

 

Next time we're talking would I just say something like "it's been nice talking to you can I have your number"? Or how would that work? Aside from getting rejected I'm afraid about making things awkward going back there for therapy if I'm overheard or she tells the owner. Would that be embarrassing?

 

You need to make sure she doesn't have a husband, boyfriend or living with a guy. To do that you would say, hey I bet your boy friend or husband has plans for you this weekend? If she said she doesn't have one of each then you can drop off your number or get hers or ask he if she available after work to go have a bite to eat on a date.

[max3732]

When's your PT over?

 

As long as you have a good track record with handling rejection, IMO approach when you feel attraction. I mention the rejection part because it's always a potential and in any interaction where an association such as provider/client needs to continue, it's how you handle it that describes that.

 

I've asked out vendors and customers with varying degrees of success/failure and it was a good learning experience. Only way to know is to go.

 

Don't have an exact date yet on when the PT will be over. This week I'm supposed to start going less frequently. I'm thinking I'll be finished sometime in the next 2-3 weeks, but don't know for sure.

 

I've never asked someone out in a customer service situation like a receptionist. My biggest fear is that it would somehow interfere with my PT going forward and makes it embarrassing for me to go there.

[max3732]

You need to make sure she doesn't have a husband, boyfriend or living with a guy. To do that you would say, hey I bet your boy friend or husband has plans for you this weekend? If she said she doesn't have one of each then you can drop off your number or get hers or ask he if she available after work to go have a bite to eat on a date.

 

Glad I posted here as I didn't even think about that. I don't think there was a ring on her finger, but I wasn't really looking.

 

What do you think if I put her name under contacts and hand her my phone w/the contact number blank after we've chatted a bit and ask her if she can help me fill it out. That way if someone overhears it won't sound like I'm asking her out.

[d0nnivain]

Don't already have her name in your contacts. That is creepy & presumptuous.

 

Do wait until closer to the end of your sessions before asking.

[JuneL]

Glad I posted here as I didn't even think about that. I don't think there was a ring on her finger, but I wasn't really looking.

 

What do you think if I put her name under contacts and hand her my phone w/the contact number blank after we've chatted a bit and ask her if she can help me fill it out. That way if someone overhears it won't sound like I'm asking her out.

 

Can you call her up and make up some logistics questions, or try to reschedule your appointment a couple of times with her? Then when you see her next time, tell her you’re sorry for having caused her inconvenience and thank her for her extra help. In your final session, you can tell her you wanna take her out to lunch/drinks to thank her, or you can drop her a small token of appreciation with a note of your personal contact info.

[elaine567]

Trouble I see here is that physiotherapy is a medical profession that is governed by a professional body, so whilst the receptionist is not I guess, a physiotherapist I doubt the physiotherapists would be happy for the receptionist to be fraternising with and picking up patients at the clinic.

Not a good look.

[max3732]

Can you call her up and make up some logistics questions, or try to reschedule your appointment a couple of times with her? Then when you see her next time, tell her you’re sorry for having caused her inconvenience and thank her for her extra help. In your final session, you can tell her you wanna take her out to lunch/drinks to thank her, or you can drop her a small token of appreciation with a note of your personal contact info.

 

She just started working there and I'm not really sure about her schedule, but it seems like she only works once a week where I'm going. A lot of the employees bounce around at different offices.

[max3732]

Trouble I see here is that physiotherapy is a medical profession that is governed by a professional body, so whilst the receptionist is not I guess, a physiotherapist I doubt the physiotherapists would be happy for the receptionist to be fraternising with and picking up patients at the clinic.

Not a good look.

 

She also just started working there so I certainly don't want to get her in trouble. I think the previous one was fired so the owner is certainly not afraid to replace them.

 

I'm kind of hesitant to talk to her too long or about too many personal things because anyone close by could overhear our conversation. That's why I'd much rather get to know her by asking her out.

[max3732]

Don't already have her name in your contacts. That is creepy & presumptuous.

 

Do wait until closer to the end of your sessions before asking.

 

That was just a thought. I've tried my best to be friendly with everyone (men and women) there so I'm hoping my chatting with her won't cause any issues.

 

Guess if I wait till I'm pretty much done it will make things much smoother. Thanks!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

That was just a thought. I've tried my best to be friendly with everyone (men and women) there so I'm hoping my chatting with her won't cause any issues.

 

Guess if I wait till I'm pretty much done it will make things much smoother. Thanks!

 

I'd wait until your last session.

[max3732]

I'd wait until your last session.

 

Well I just had my last session and her shift ended while I was in the middle of it so I can't ask her out now. Every time she was there I talked to her more and more and hopefully built some kind of bond.They said if something really bothers me to come back, but I'm basically finished for good.

 

Since I don't want to go for unnecessary PT just in the off chance of seeing her I'll chalk this up to a learning experience.

[alphamale]

I'd wait until your last session.

 

^^^this, and keep your expectations low

[elaine567]

^^^this, and keep your expectations low

 

 

 

 

Read the post immediately above yours.

[JuneL]

Well I just had my last session and her shift ended while I was in the middle of it so I can't ask her out now. Every time she was there I talked to her more and more and hopefully built some kind of bond.They said if something really bothers me to come back, but I'm basically finished for good.

 

Since I don't want to go for unnecessary PT just in the off chance of seeing her I'll chalk this up to a learning experience.

 

Does she work the same shift each week? If yes, go back next week at the same time to ask her some billing questions (or make up a simple logistics question), and ask her out or ask her for her number; alternatively, you can tell her you’ve enjoyed chatting with her and hand her a small card with your contact info.

[max3732]

Does she work the same shift each week? If yes, go back next week at the same time to ask her some billing questions (or make up a simple logistics question), and ask her out or ask her for her number; alternatively, you can tell her you’ve enjoyed chatting with her and hand her a small card with your contact info.

 

I don't know. She was only working once a week when she first started, but last week she was there whenever I went in. Seems like the employees bounce around to the different locations. It's pretty close to me so the only thing I can think of is looking through the window and seeing if she there and asking her out. The billing was pretty straight forward so I don't know what kind of question I could make up.

 

The only thing I can think of is telling the main therapist I was in the area and wanted to thank him for getting me feeling well. Then on my way out ask the receptionist for her number. That would be tough for me to pull off without acting nervous.

[LauraXX]

As a woman who has been approached by guys in my work environment (and always found that extremely uncomfortable) - I wouldn't do it if I were you.

 

 

 

At work, I am required to be very friendly with our clients. Especially when I'm representing our company at trade shows etc. It just puts me in a difficult position when men start to flirt with me there. One problem is, that I find it hard to brush that of politely. Another problem is that it somehow makes me feel less serious. I want to be seen at eye level and I want to appear competent and confident in my work environment. I'm sure that our CEO wouldn't be asked for his telephone number when he attends his meetings and it's just frustrating when people don't show me that same level of respect.

 

 

 

Nothing is wrong with being flirty and asking girls out in private situations, but I'd really consider the possibility that it happens to her a lot and that it would make her feel uncomfortable. Also, it would have been very easy for her to get in touch with you if she was interested. She would have had plenty of opportunities as a receptionist (she could have called to remind you of your appointment, ask about the billing etc.). So, yes... I'd definitely just let it go. Unless you run into her in a private situation someday.

[max3732]

As a follow up I just got a call from her asking how I'm doing and if I think I need to come back for any treatment.

 

Now I have a reason to call, but would it be weird asking her out? Since I may actually have to go back there and the employees there know some of my mutual friends I feel a bit awkward. Plus I've never asked someone out before at a work or service type setting.

 

If I should do it would I just say I'm feeling ok, but ask how she's doing and then I can have her number to ask her out? Or should I ask her about her weekend plans and then ask her to lunch?

[JuneL]

As a follow up I just got a call from her asking how I'm doing and if I think I need to come back for any treatment.

 

Now I have a reason to call, but would it be weird asking her out? Since I may actually have to go back there and the employees there know some of my mutual friends I feel a bit awkward. Plus I've never asked someone out before at a work or service type setting.

 

If I should do it would I just say I'm feeling ok, but ask how she's doing and then I can have her number to ask her out? Or should I ask her about her weekend plans and then ask her to lunch?

 

Just ask her out already!

[preraph]

I would say you do not ask her out. This all sounds like part of her job. You should have seen how pouty my young female chiropractor looked when I told her I wasn't renewing the contract with her. It's just their job.

 

I would just add that if you're 10 years or more older than her, odds are practically nil you'd be successful with her anyway.

 

I was in physical therapy for 7 months with a male therapist. He was happily and fairly recently married. But he still said things that someone hopeful might have taken as encouragement, like "I think you just come up here to see me." (I was driving 2+ hours to go up there because I'm on Native American healthcare.)

 

Thing is you can find out if she has a family easily by just asking her if she has big plans for Thanksgiving. She will likely say, Yeah, we're going to my (boyfriend or husband) 's parents house and then you know she's not available. If she says, 'No, not sure what I'm doing," then you can say, "Not going to be with family?" and just see if she ever reveals her status or lack thereof. I mean, that's perfectly safe and it might make you realize she's available or not.

Edited November 9, 2018 by preraph

[max3732]

I would say you do not ask her out. This all sounds like part of her job. You should have seen how pouty my young female chiropractor looked when I told her I wasn't renewing the contract with her. It's just their job.

 

I would just add that if you're 10 years or more older than her, odds are practically nil you'd be successful with her anyway.

 

I was in physical therapy for 7 months with a male therapist. He was happily and fairly recently married. But he still said things that someone hopeful might have taken as encouragement, like "I think you just come up here to see me." (I was driving 2+ hours to go up there because I'm on Native American healthcare.)

 

Thing is you can find out if she has a family easily by just asking her if she has big plans for Thanksgiving. She will likely say, Yeah, we're going to my (boyfriend or husband) 's parents house and then you know she's not available. If she says, 'No, not sure what I'm doing," then you can say, "Not going to be with family?" and just see if she ever reveals her status or lack thereof. I mean, that's perfectly safe and it might make you realize she's available or not.

 

I honestly have no idea how old she is. I don't think I'm 10 years older than her, but I'm really bad at telling people's age.

 

If she does reveal she's doesn't have a boyfriend then what? Ask for her number or ask if she wants to meet for lunch? As I said my other concern is if she tells other people I asked her out is that embarrassing for me if I go back there?

[carhill]

A relationship is her issue. Not your concern. If you like her, ask her to lunch. Accept her answer with a smile. The time you waste thinking about it and posting here your perfect mate might have flown right by you. Did plenty of that as a young guy. Analysis paralysis.

[JuneL]

I honestly have no idea how old she is. I don't think I'm 10 years older than her, but I'm really bad at telling people's age.

 

If she does reveal she's doesn't have a boyfriend then what? Ask for her number or ask if she wants to meet for lunch? As I said my other concern is if she tells other people I asked her out is that embarrassing for me if I go back there?

 

Why would you ask if she wants to meet for lunch? Just ask to take her to lunch, or ask confidently to have lunch.

 

We’ve agreed that you ask when you’re done with the physical therapy part; now is the time. There’s nothing embarrassing about asking a girl out, once, confidently.

[preraph]

Don't do it while you're going there. Do it once you're done or on the last day she releases you, say, "I'd like to take you to lunch," but if you can't even ask her about her personal life first, which is the normal thing to do, then lunch could be embarrassing. And yes, she'll tell everyone there, which is why you wait until you're done.