Country_Girl Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Known this guy for 2 months. I thought our arrangement was perfect because there are just some things I can’t stand about him. Not red flags or anything, just personality flaws that annoy me. I’m gonna sound like a jerk but I even had a nickname for him cuz of the way he talks. Then the other morning I don’t know what we’re talking about or how we got on the subject but he told me “yeah some people have made fun of me because of how I talk, they think I’m ‘slow’. That hit me in the gut cuz I never told him I didn’t like how he talks and it made me feel bad for being no better than anyone else that just judges someone for something they don’t even have control of. That’s when it kinda hit me, I kinda like him. All of a sudden the things that annoyed me about him, I like. And I can appreciate him. But I have to end this...because I like him and I know the feelings aren’t returned. He’s never said that but the actions speak louder than words. I just don’t know how to end this. Do I just stop calling/texting? Do the slow fade? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 If you genuinely like him do not fade or ghost. Tell him we have to stop this FWB thing b/c I (you) caught feelings & continuing just makes me feel bad because I know you don't feel the same way. I didn't mean to change the rules. If he likes you back, he'll tell you. If he is a good person he will understand & let you go even if it makes him sad to do so. If he tries anything else, forget the "slow" he's a user. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 If you genuinely like him do not fade or ghost. Tell him we have to stop this FWB thing b/c I (you) caught feelings & continuing just makes me feel bad because I know you don't feel the same way. I didn't mean to change the rules. If he likes you back, he'll tell you. If he is a good person he will understand & let you go even if it makes him sad to do so. If he tries anything else, forget the "slow" he's a user. I just feel like the timing on this is horrible, he was fresh out of breakup, so I just know the feelings aren’t returned. And he’s still hanging out with his ex which I don’t understand cuz if she was so “crazy” as he says then why would u hang out with that person? Only reason why I know they are hanging out is because I texted him on Sunday, she got ahold of his phone and told me to never text his phone again and then she called me asking all kinds of questions about how I knew him. I know he’s not lying about them being broken up cuz I’ve stayed the night at his place on numerous occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Still if you like him don't be rude but you have to end it. he's not truly available -- physically or emotionally to be with you. Sticking around will only hurt you but still be courteous. If the rolls were reversed wouldn't you be more upset that he just ghosted you then if he told you why he had to stop? the Golden Rule is treat others the way you want to be treated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 Still if you like him don't be rude but you have to end it. he's not truly available -- physically or emotionally to be with you. Sticking around will only hurt you but still be courteous. If the rolls were reversed wouldn't you be more upset that he just ghosted you then if he told you why he had to stop? the Golden Rule is treat others the way you want to be treated. Thank you. Yeah that’s definitely what I needed to hear, he’s definitely not emotionally or physically available. That was something in the back of my mind that I was avoiding. I’ve been ghosted before and it really hurt, it’s not nice because the person didn’t know what they did wrong. I still don’t want to tell him how I feel, cuz I know the feeling isn’t mutual. So maybe I’ll just text him from time to time and check in. Hanging out won’t be an issue since I pretty much arrange our get togethers, he’s never taken initiative on that front. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 You say he annoys you but that you've also come to like him. Ever thought about just telling him you want to end the sex part to motivate yourself to find someone but that you'd like to still be "just friends" with him if he's interested but that you certainly understand if he's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 You say he annoys you but that you've also come to like him. Ever thought about just telling him you want to end the sex part to motivate yourself to find someone but that you'd like to still be "just friends" with him if he's interested but that you certainly understand if he's not interested. I guess I just like his flaws now. The reason why I have to end it is because if the sex dissapears, so will he. Cuz we only get together for that. Sure we’ll grab a beer from time to time but that’s about it. After sleeping together we’ll just talk and cuddle till 4 am or so. There were only like 2 times where we didn’t hook up- we just sat on his porch talking till 6 am. I think I’m placing some value on sex subconsciously and I need to evaluate that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted August 30, 2018 Author Share Posted August 30, 2018 As an update I won’t be telling him I like him, cuz I don’t feel that way anymore. Funny how feelings can change in 24 hours. He was texting me last night saying his ex told him she has my contact info. Then said she knows where I work and what vehicle I drive. This really upset me because I don’t want any drama and he claims he’s single. The only way for her to know any info about me is him telling her. So I figured out he was just throwing information in her face to make her jealous. Now I feel bad for his ex after he put her through that. I did try to call him but he didn’t answer, I told him not to contact me anymore as he obviously has unresolved issues with his ex and I want no part in this drama. So it’s done, I deleted his number. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 That's awful! I'm sorry you had to know someone so awful. I hope you can put that behind you and move forward. You deserve a lot better than this guy could ever offer. Be happy being you and put this behind you for good. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 The best way to end a FWB situation is to just tell them it isn't working for you then go NC, block and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts