Is he clueless or uninterested? Or have I been friend zoned?

[Confused689]

Theres a guy at work, we work together in the same department and we get along really good. I always catch him staring at me(which I find cute lol), always “around” me. He’ll accidentally make his way to my dept and start looking for me. We always take our work breaks and walk to the subway after work together. If I’m not ready to leave work, he’ll awkwardly wait for me. I think he has a crush on me. So on Wednesday he and I went to lunch together. As we were saying goodbye, he came up to me and gave me a side hug. He squeezed pretty good and I wrapped my arm around his waist. He’s never hugged me before and I’ve never seen him hug anyone at work. He doesn’t seem like a hugger so I wondered if our hug meant a bit more. Now today when he first saw me he flicks my hair and winks at me. I winked back and he ticked me lol. When we left today he gave me another side hug.

 

I’d ask him about this but I don’t want to mess things up. What do you think? What could the side hug mean? Is he figuring me out and waiting for a better moment? I can usually tell with most people but I can’t with him!

[maxi105]

hello confused!!!!! I think that unless you can find some way of inviting him out for a coffee, find out about his kind of movies or hobbies and see if he'd like to join you for a more intimate but not crazed full of suffocating meet up, then you are I suspect going to stay "confused"!!!!!

 

it sounds promising, but just incase you might be wrong you need to find out to save embarrassement or awkwardness if you've got it a bit wrong.

 

just do it, use the good weather to get out and do something fun and let things happen naturally when yo0u are in the moment of talking, if you still cant ask him when you are on the date, then next time at work tell him it was fun and maybe you should do something like that again sometime....

 

you will know one way or another by then I think!

 

and if you still don't know!!!!!! well then we might all be feeling a bit confused lol.

 

go for it, you wont know any other way. there are good signs, but you don't want to ge heartbroken building something up if it isn't quite what he see's things as...so do your heart a favour and get it over and done with....

 

you'll feel better for knowing eventually one way or the other.

 

good luck '689; maxi

[smackie9]

Ask him if he is doing anything after work...and suggest going for drinks. Let things happen organically. You are an adult, ask him out.

[Confused689]

So there’s a guy who I like and I can’t tell if he’s interested or not. We met at work but work different departments. He’ll come over to my section to talk or “help me” with my department. We take our breaks together and leave work together. He’ll wait for

me if I’m not ready to leave. We go for food together after work. He plays with my hair and we’re a bit touchy with each other.

 

I constantly catch him staring at me, and he’s very fidgety around me. He likes to touch my feet with his or sometimes tap my chair with his foot. We have this game where he likes to throw a little pieces of paper through the top of my shirt lol he’s fidgety and sometimes I swear I hear him talking to himself.

 

The other day I messaged him thanking for something he’d done for me and that we should get together outside of work. He asked if this Saturday was good (of course it is). He said he’s glad I asked him cause according to him he “gets bored so it’s cool that I asked” him. He asked what I’d like to do. I told him “not sure yet but something will come up ” he sounded excited.

 

However when I tried to say something a little suggestive later on in the conversation he never took the bait so that confuses me. He’d answer me incredibly vanilla. Is he clueless? Not really interested? I’m a bit confused. I haven’t seen him in person yet since we messaged so maybe I’ll get clarity then but I’m looking for others opinion. Thanks

Edited August 15, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Larry56]

Lol. This is halirious. You know it's obvious he has a thing for you. Unless he's straight up gay, I think you're fine to assume he likes.

 

Just ask him out, Don't be wimpy.

[Unhappy_Nerd]

Some of us males are just clueless at reading women. Just take the lead.

[preraph]

Okay. What did you say that was suggestive? Here's all I can gather from what you've written so far.

 

He likes you, but he shows it like a high school boy shows it, pestering. Immature.

 

You asked him out. He never worked up the nerve to ask you out. Although it didn't stop him from playing footsie. Immature, maybe experienced only up to a point.

 

Now, what did you say that was suggestive? Maybe he got nervous thinking you were going to expect him to perform right away and isn't experienced enough for a hookup or something. OR he got nervous thinking, Uh-oh, she wants to go on a real date, and I don't have the money, or maybe, I don't want to formally date because I'm still immature and in the "let's hang out" phase.

 

Either way, you've already stuck your neck out, so you better write him and ask if he wants to do something specific and inexpensive and you asked so you pay. It could just be go for a walk in the park or whatever. Or go get ice cream. Telling him something specific and not suggestive may put him at ease -- or if he was counting on getting laid, it may make him mad, but whatever. He isn't the one doing the asking. He had his chance.

[William]

For continuity and context, two threads on the apparent same topic were merged into F&L since that's the most appropriate forum. There may be some overlap and/or duplication of content. Please continue!

[AnnaHoll]

I think that soon everything will become clear if he shows such interest to you and physically shows feelings. I think that soon you will get in a relationship. I think you need not wait much when he takes the first step.