sternchen92 Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 So there's this man whom I quite much like, he's 20 years older than me and used to be my professor at university. We see each other still because I keep attending university. We were close to get into a more "romantic" relationship, but it didn't happen... possibly because he considers I'm too young for him. That has been happening since last year... I didn't attend university for a whole semester, and now that I returned, he acts differently towards me, moreover he doesn't look into my eyes very often, he can't hold my gaze. When I was his student only and we maintained that kind of relationship exclusively, he was able to look at me (during conversation) just like he keeps doing with everyone else who isn't me (I've noticed it). I wonder if it's because he feels guilty, because he now doesn't like me and I still do, or because he still likes me as well? I wouldn't say he has totally forgotten me. When I returned to uni this semester we saw each other and had some conversation, he offered to send me some academical documents and I said thank you, and he took at least a month (in which I didn't look up for him in his office at all, cause I used to do that) to send the mail, he was warm and gentle as always... He's got me confused. Am I over-rethinking stuff? Help!! And thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 I mean, clearly he doesn't want to get involved. You need to just move on. Nothing ever really happened, sounds like anyway. Once he figured out you were crushing on him, he backed WAY off because he's not interested in getting involved with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 You should not be confused. You are crushing on a professor. He sees you as a student, nothing more. He likes educating you. He does not want to date you. Once he realized that you liked him, he backed off & is trying to discourage you while not having to actually say the words & hurt your feelings. Take the hint. Understand that as long as you are enrolled in the university where he is employed he cannot date you even if he wanted to. Student / faculty relationships are generally prohibited & would cost him his job. If you unwisely think that something can develop between you two, wait until you graduate then ask him out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 The truth is, I’d suggest that you stop thinking about what he wants or doesn’t want. He’s MUCH too old for you and it would be a bad situation for you all the way around. Let this go. Sometimes it’s best to just love from a distance. This won’t be the first time in your life that you’ll need to let someone go because of undesirable circumstances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 To answer your subject line. YES You are a 20 something student, he is a 40 something professor. It's not appropriate to have a romantic or sexual relationship with you. Honestly I remember being in college, and I remember girls crushing on various professor. I am sure he has seen this before, and has learned how to handle these situations diplomatically. Like not giving you extra attention or anything that could be misinterpreted as "interest". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Ditto what everyone else said. And there are some missing pieces here. I assume he is not married? And you say you are back at school. Even if you don't take a class with him I'm sure it's against university policy for professors to date students. And what does "We were close to get into a more "romantic" relationship" even mean? Link to post Share on other sites
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