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Two Years On...Still Giving Mixed Signals?!

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 14th February 2018, 1:56 AM   #1
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Two Years On...Still Giving Mixed Signals?!

So almost two years ago now I met a guy from New Zealand whilst travelling (I am from Scotland). We had an intense two week relationship and needless to say I fell head over heels for him. At the time he told me that he didn't want to be in a LDR but we stayed in touch after parting ways nonetheless.

For the best part of a year I pursued a relationship with him. I won't bore you with the details but basically after a very frank conversation with him I finally accepted the fact that our relationship was never going to be anything more than those two weeks. We cut all contact for a couple of months whilst I got over him. Around November/December I decided that I was in a strong enough place to be friends with him again and since then things have more or less be fine.

For the most part things have been completely normal between us and it's been great just to get on as friends. Some point in December though there was an odd period where he drunk called me/left me drunk voice messages THREE times in one week. And THEN, last night he called me babe randomly mid conversation. I said "Ew, don't do that, it's weird." He ignored the remark and continued on with the conversation. Later I made a joke asking why he hadn't wished me a Happy Valentine's Day yet (since he is 12 hours ahead of me) to which he left me a voice message saying "Well in case you weren't paying attention to my messages I did call you babe so that's basically saying I ****ing love you." I should note that this was in 7am and he was getting up to go to work so it's not even like he was drunk or anything.

I just found that comment wildly inappropriate and completely strange. I am not really sure how to take it at all. My response at the time was "And they say romance is dead..."

I have been considering doing a working holiday visa in either Australia or New Zealand and so of course have been asking for his advice about things to do with this so he knows there is a possibility that I am moving to New Zealand - however this is 100% only a temporary move and I wouldn't plan on being there any longer than a year. Do you think because he knows I might be coming there he is realizing he still has some sort of feelings towards me? (He has always been adamant that he does like me but that "he couldn't do a LDR" and that "I'm not the one for him")
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Old 14th February 2018, 9:10 AM   #2
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It's really hard to say. I suppose if you close the distance a relationship is possible but he has never waivered from his understandable position that he wants nothing to do with an LDR. It's not about you as a person / potential partner. He doesn't want the loneliness or the immigration hassles.
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Old 1st March 2018, 7:55 AM   #3
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Well, I say just leave him. If he has no plans being with you, then he is probably not that into you. If he doesn't align himself with you, then he really isn't serious.
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Old 22nd March 2018, 4:26 PM   #4
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