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I should have figured it out...


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

 
 
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:25 PM   #1
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I should have figured it out...

Hello all!

So I feel kind of stupid... Iím here writing about a guy sending me mixed signals... why havenít I figured it out by now..

Anyway, this is about a guy friend. Not one I have written about here.. all those are gone. Again, why I think I really should have figured it out by now.

So this friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now. The first 2 years, we were not so close.

This last couple of months, we have grown really close. We see each other about twice a week, if I have a hard day at work, I call him, he takes me for a drink to talk about it. He initiators contact most of the time, we talk everyday. We tell eachother that we love eachother... he even calls me love and honey.

However, non of our hang outs are actually dates, just us hanging out, him coming over to my apartment, drinks.. etc. biggest problem I have, he is openly dating other women. He goes on dates weekly, and tells me about them. He never makes it to second dates, but every time he mentions another woman it breaks my heart.

I know he would do anything for me.. I know he totally and completely has my back. I have his too. But the fact that I have feelings, worries me.

Guess my question is... what should I do in this situation?
Is there a probability he likes me back? Should I just cut him off?
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:32 PM   #2
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If he's not ever put the moves on you, he doesn't think of you that way, despite him calling you lovey things. Now, if he has asked you out AND tried to at least kiss you in the past and you declined, then you could flirt and show interest. He's telling you about other women because he thinks you are just a friend. You do need to either stop letting it bother you and accept your role OR come clean and risk it getting awkward and him fading away. It's not honest to drag it out pretending to be just friends so he'll let you hang around. I mean, as far as you know, he kisses or sleeps with these other women, right? He's not just dating but never trying it, is he?
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Old 17th January 2018, 5:56 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
If he's not ever put the moves on you, he doesn't think of you that way, despite him calling you lovey things. Now, if he has asked you out AND tried to at least kiss you in the past and you declined, then you could flirt and show interest. He's telling you about other women because he thinks you are just a friend. You do need to either stop letting it bother you and accept your role OR come clean and risk it getting awkward and him fading away. It's not honest to drag it out pretending to be just friends so he'll let you hang around. I mean, as far as you know, he kisses or sleeps with these other women, right? He's not just dating but never trying it, is he?
He did try to kiss me... a long time ago... at the beginning of our friendship. But I declined. I declined because he was kissing 300 other women.

Yes, Iím pretty sure he kisses and sleeps with these other women.
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Old 17th January 2018, 6:42 PM   #4
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Well, then if you really think that despite all these other women, which seem to still be ongoing, that you are interested, you'll have to really flirt with him or just lean in and kiss him sometime and find out. he may have gotten over wanting you that way, or not. But now, since you know he's still a serial dater, you'd have no reason to expect he'd stop on account of you, but if you really want to take a risk, you could sing to him an old Patsy Cline lyric from "Foolin Around,": "When you get tired of foolin' 'round with two or three, then come on home and fool around with me."

Sing it as you're walking out of the room wiggling your butt. That's my advice.

Last edited by preraph; 17th January 2018 at 6:47 PM..
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