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She's just friendly or does she also want something?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 23rd December 2017, 11:04 PM   #1
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She's just friendly or does she also want something?

So i met this girl awhile back and had no intention or thought that I would meet up with her again. However surprisingly we crossed paths again. I had moved back home to my home province and she happened to move to the same province for school and I had got her number before.

We've hung out several times already and every time it's been fun. She is very attractive, chatty and seems to be easy going. She mentioned that she has a boyfriend back home but she never mentions him or anything when we hang out. I guess for me, if she dropped me hints about her bf more often then I'd get the point she isn't interested.

I don't want to date this girl since I do not have any flexibility to date right now in my career. She also has a pretty intense school schedule so she's quite busy herself too. Needless, we both are busy with work or school which are occupying our lives atm.

My question is, this girl is always down to hang out with me whenever I call her out and she is always so interested about everything I do. We only hang out occasionally whenever we both have time. I wonder if this relationship could evolve into more than just occasional friendship, more like a FWB.

How would I slip that idea to her about being FWB? Or do I just have a completely wrong idea about this girl? And that she is just like this to everyone she knows?

Some feedback is appreciated.
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Old 24th December 2017, 12:20 AM   #2
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Well she definitely enjoys your company. But it's hard to say if it's more than that without more info.
I think all you can do is just ask her, has she ever thought of you as more? Proceed with the fwb idea based on her answer.

But remember you're taking a risk at jeopardizing the friendship, it may help to let her know you don't want that, but curious if fwb interests her. You are also asking her to cheat on her boyfriend with you so depending on what kind of person she is, she may find that disrespectful... But since she is eager to spend so much time with you, it could be something she has thought about it already.

Keep in mind also if you ask her and she says no, that could permanently make things awkward for you 2. But the only way to find out is by asking.
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Old 24th December 2017, 1:16 AM   #3
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No one here knows this girl so no one can tell you what she's thinking. You'd actually have to ask.

I'd be careful about asking for an FWB... that's a slippery slope. Get to know her better, first. But whatever you do, be clear right off the bat that you don't want to date her... you don't want to lead her on. If she's interested in you at all, no doubt she wants a boyfriend before an FWB.

And remember, a quick, clean break is always best if the need for it arises. If you keep up with this hangout/flirtation bit, sooner or later expectations and feelings will develop on at least one side.... and one or both of you are going to get hurt.
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Old 24th December 2017, 1:18 AM   #4
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If I were her, I'd be insulted by you suggesting an FWB relationship. She's said she has a bf. I'd ask her if she still has a bf. If so, and you are asking her to have casual sex on the regular, that's implying you think she will cheat on him. If you have time to have sex and you have time to hang out, you have time to date, so not sure what all that is about saying you don't have time to date!

So ask at your own risk. If it were me and I was interested, I'd ask her if she still has that bf and if not, I'd ask her if she'd like to date.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 24th December 2017, 2:55 PM   #5
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Well that is why i'd rather her be more straight up with where she stands with her long d bf.. If she really loves this guy even though they are apart, then I think she wouldn't want to try to hang out with me so often.. It's the fact she never mentions him at all when we chat on topics where there is clear response with her and her bf to come up. But w/e it's probably a huge waste of time with this girl anyways.

Last edited by AKisBaked; 24th December 2017 at 3:00 PM..
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Old 24th December 2017, 4:09 PM   #6
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Just because a woman hangs out with you doesn't at all mean she's romantically interested. If she had a boyfriend but was still dating other guys, she'd never have told you she had one if she was at all interested in you. The fact she told you she has one (which may or may not be true) means she wants you to know she isn't interested in you romantically.
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Old 26th December 2017, 11:04 AM   #7
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It's pretty clear. If you want to keep her as a friend, you keep her as a friend. If you don't care about keeping her as a friend and want to see if you can get a fwb, make a move.

Whether you go on a fishing expedition and ask questions to determine if she would be a fwb or ask her straight up it won't matter. The end result is you need to put the friendship up against the hope she might be interested in fwb.

When you start thinking of asking someone to be a fwb in the case where you know she has a bf, it's clear you value the chance of a fwb situation over what you have now.
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