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My crush got a new boyfriend and she knew I liked her. What do I do?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 29th September 2017, 8:01 PM   #16
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Location: New England
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It's really quite simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. This is cut and dry. You have unrequited feelings. You feel strongly about someone who does not reciprocate.

She has clearly moved on and has a boyfriend, and while this is a horrible feeling and horrible position to be in (I'm familiar), your natural instincts are going to be to want to do things that will actually make you appear weaker.

I don't "do" any social media so I can't express details, but do not follow her on social media, do not "friend" or check status, and you certainly do not have to be mean, but (and this is where I get myself in trouble),...stop over explaining. I tend to do this as a defense mechanism as if I'm trying to help explain to them to get a clearer picture. It backfires ten fold.

Create distance and put space between the two of you. Again, no need to be mean or cruel or nasty, absent. Be away. Move on and forward. Be polite if she starts conversation, but move on quickly.
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Old 30th September 2017, 11:28 AM   #17
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You need to just stop fixating on her now and move on and stop trying to make every little thing something that means you have a chance. She isn't interested. She is not "the one." Start paying attention to any girls who are paying attention to you or talking to you or smiling and hanging around. Those are where you'll find one who is interested in you romantically. She's not.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 30th September 2017, 11:55 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by throwaway1224ep View Post
she seemed somewhat interested in me, she was playing with her hair and smiling and stuff.
Originally Posted by throwaway1224ep View Post
friendly enough to talk and when she does she smiles, laughs and sometimes plays with her hair
Originally Posted by throwaway1224ep View Post
We look down when walking past each other and sometimes she fixes her hair
I think it's important that you forget about this idea that a woman playing with her hair means that she's into you. Yes, I've heard that playing with hair can be a sign of flirtation, but honestly I think it's mostly BS. There are many, many other reasons that a woman might touch her hair. It doesn't automatically mean she's into you.

I see a lot of guys latch onto this hair thing, as if it's like a secret code that all women do to show interest. It's just not the case.

Also, her and her friend were wondering if you hate her because as soon as you found out about her boyfriend, you started ignoring her and giving her the cold shoulder. Pretending someone doesn't exist is something you do when you hate someone. I'm sure it's confusing for her to think that you're friends one moment, and the next moment you're not speaking to her anymore. You could just tell her that you have feelings for her and it's too hard to be friends with her at this time, then wish her the best and keep it moving. Honesty is good.
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Old 1st October 2017, 11:21 AM   #19
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^ ^^ THIS. Thank you.

I'm 65 and not looking for a man and I touch my hair ALL the time. I put it behind my years, I push the hair back. I get a stray hair off my forehead or out of my ear. I pull it out from under my armpit or off my back if it's tickling me. Get over the stupid hair thing. It's a myth.
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