Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Transitioning > Friends and Lovers

Should I respond?

Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Like Tree1Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13th September 2017, 4:58 PM   #1
New Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 1
Question Should I respond?

So, before I was traveling to another city for business. I tell a girl that I'm seeing where I'm going to be. She tells me that coincidentally she's going to be in the same city at the same time. She then says that "I can see you anytime" (in our home city), and that she already has plans. We're not exclusive and I'm not upset that she had plans. Yet, the way she came across with the "I can see you anytime" felt like little slap in face, taking me for granted and made me want to say... uh no you can't see me anytime you want. She then contacts me after the trip to get together for drinks - and I don't want to even respond. Am I being too sensitive & egotistical or was I disrespected and should I write her off?
robertj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 5:15 PM   #2
Established Member
d0nnivain's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 28,479
It was a little flippant.

If she's otherwise a worthy candidate to date, continue by accepting the drinks invite. If you are perturbed by this, tell her that you are no longer interested & move on. Don't just leave her hanging. Ghosting is rude.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th September 2017, 6:14 PM   #3
Established Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 19,533
She already had plans and she didn't want to change them for you. I mean nothing at all wrong with that. I mean I can't gauge if she has romantic interest in you or not just based on that because she may just not want to get started shoving her other plans aside for a guy. Maybe she's dealt with that before and isn't about to do it again. Or maybe like you say you just are any kind of priority for her because she has low interest.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2017, 12:34 AM   #4
Established Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,109
Yeah, I think you're probably being a little too sensitive.

"I can see you anytime" was maybe a poor choice of words, but she didn't say, "I can see you anytime that I want to." You're adding that bolded part in yourself. You're adding a negative slant to it. You could also add a positive slant to it if you wanted. Maybe she actually meant, "I can see you anytime because it's understood that we're close and obviously we'll be seeing each other again back home." Or maybe even "I can see you anytime you want to see me."

It doesn't even matter what she meant, actually. She asked you out for drinks when you two were both back in town. Accept her invite if you want to see where things go with her. Reject her or ignore her if her choice of words wasn't to your liking, or if you're very hurt and offended that she had the gall to assume that she could see you "anytime."
CC12 is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
would you respond? HansonGirl Second Chances 10 16th November 2015 10:10 AM
Sooo boring. How should I respond? Should I even respond? Drewx2 Dating 10 24th October 2013 9:39 PM
How do I respond dg2501 Coping 3 17th June 2013 9:47 AM
How do you respond to this Simons Dating 12 24th February 2006 8:55 PM
Shall I respond to him? Irish1 Breaks and Breaking Up 23 15th February 2006 12:53 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:28 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.